No Use Crying Over Spilled Milk

Have you ever heard the phrase,"There's no use crying over spilled milk?" It's true...there is no use crying over something small like that. But, today I actually spilled my milk. No worries...I didn't cry about it. However, it got me to thinking about that phrase. And the fact that sometimes, when you are upset about things, and everything keeps piling up on top of each other, you hold things all in until you do something small like spill your glass of milk and that somehow turns on the faucet of emotions. THere are some days when EVERYTHING seems to be going wrong. And, spilling your milk is maybe the last straw of the day where you just want to break down and cry. Sometimes when one thing goes bad so does everything else. I don't know why days seem to happen like that. What goes up must come down, they say.

God has been speaking to me a lot lately. I hate it when He speaks through pain. But, sometimes that is God's megaphone. Or it is His way of getting our attention and saying,"Slow down and pay attention". I don't like that kind of situation. But, I think the more I live through it the better I am for it. Lately God has been showing me how truly disgusting sin is in His sight. We tend to down play our own sin and build other people's sin up. But, in the end, it is all disgusting and selfish. I never want God to mourn over my sin as I have with the sins that others have committed against me. But I know He has. I want to remember forever what it is like to truly feel the disgust of a specific sin and realize that God thinks all sins are that disgusting. THere is no candy coating with God. There is no "well, this sin was just a small one". It is still sin and it still cannot dwell in His presence.

I think I have a lot of things to work through right now. I feel like once again I am being broken down in a painful way so God can build me back up into something more like Himself. I hate the painful times in life. These past two years has held a lot of those times for me. But, there is something amazing about even realizing throughout it all that God has a purpose. And that there is never a hopeless moment in a christians life. No matter how big or small the trial is they are facing. Finding joy in the pain is something that is hard to do. But, it is something I want to learn to accomplish.

So, while I may not cry over spilled milk. I may be pushing tears aside all day long from painful things and then when I do something small, like spill milk, it is the last straw and I break down and cry.

My room mate said something really good the other day. I was upset. And, I told her that I hated crying sometimes. I felt like such a baby. I hate feeling all girly and emotional. She took me out to eat and she said something that I had never really thought about. She said tears (in her eyes) were God's gift to us. It allows us to express things and emotions that we cannot express in words. There is something truly freeing about having a good cry. She's right. How cruel would it have been for God to leave us here in a sinful world without a release mechanism for the crap we go through. Sometimes, just to cry and express pain in a way I couldn't if I used words, is a truly amazing thing. So, even though I wish I was less emotional, I thank God for tears!!! Some days I just need tears. And, I always need to refreshing of God's Word and His comfort.

I am truly let down by this world. I am truly let down by others. I am truly let down by myself. I long for a day when this won't happen anymore. But, for now, I will just use it to make me stronger and better.



Me and Alicia ate lunch together today at Sonic. This is a picture of me and her! I have missed her a lot lately :(

Tomorrow it is off to B-Ham for Choir Tour. Keep me in your prayers if you think about it. Mainly that I will have patience with people and love for those I am in contact with. As well as a good attitude about it!