Will The Best Be Painful?

I am finally starting to feel better today! My throat is hurting a good bit and I have a headache. But, I have to say that is much better than last week and even yesterday! I have a voice lesson today that will most likely turn out to be pretty pointless because I haven't been able to sing for almost two weeks now!

TWo things that have come across my path lately and touched my heart is a quote from CS Lewis and a song from Natalie Grant.


"We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be." -CS Lewis

Some might find that quote depressing. But, I am realizing more and more lately that sometimes the best that God has for us can turn out to take us down a painful trail. That is mostly because God is making us more in His image. And, thankfully the pain can also turn out to be worth it in the end when we see that the best is really good!!! Nichole Nordeman has a line in one of her songs that says,"Oh the differences that often are between everything we want and what we really need". So true. There is such a difference in what we want and what we really need in life. And, I really am thankful that God wants to give us HIs best. And, it is always worth the pain once we recieve His best.

I heard NAtalie Grant's new song the other day and I really liked it! I can definitely relate! It is pretty fitting!


It's hard to stand
On shifting sand
It's hard to shine
In the shadows of the night
You can't be free
If you don't reach for help
And you can't love
If you don't love yourself
But there is hope when my faith runs out...
Cuz I'm in better hands now


It's like the sun is shining
When the rain is pourin' down
It's like my soul is flying
Though my feet are on the ground
So take this heart of mine
There's no doubt
I'm in better hands now

I am strong
All because of you
I stand in awe of
Every mountain that you move
I am changed
Yesterday is gone
I am safe
From this moment on...
And there's no fear when the night comes 'round
I'm in better hands now



It's like the sun is shining
When the rain is pourin' down
It's like my soul is flying
Though my feet are on the ground
It's like the world is silent
Though I know it isn't true
It's like the breath of Jesus
Is right here in this room
So take this heart of mine
There's no doubt

You can't be saved
If you're not reaching out for help


I am shocked lately with the amount of people who have no clue who they are. They don't know their own weaknesses. They don't have a proper view of themselves. They are decieved about who they are. I think people are in need of a little self discovery.

I watched a really good movie last week while I was sick. It is called "Pay It Forward". It is so good! It is about a little boy who does a history assigment. HIs assignment is to change the world. And so that is what he sets out to do. In doing this he comes up with a system to change the world. He gives someone a gift, or does something for someone. But, not something that is easy for him to do. And, he does this for three people. When he does this for them they are told to "pay it forward" to three other people. So it starts a chain of doing good and changning the world. It is really good! And, it starts a phenomenon. One of my favorite quotes from the movie is this:

Some people are too scared or something to think things can be different. The worlds not exactly...crap. I guess it's hard for some people who are so used to things the way they are - even if they are bad - to change and they kinda give up and when they do, everybody loses.

I thought it was sad in that movie. Because, it is so true. Even if things are really bad some people just won't change them. Because they are too scaced to or just don't want to. So many people aren't willing to do what it takes to change the things in their lives they need to. And it ends up affecting those around them. When they don't "everybody loses". It was a really good movie!!!

Anyways...I have to go to my lesson soon. My recital is in THREE WEEKS! I did talk them into letting me sing a Nichole Nordeman song though! Something I am more comfortable with. Maybe this recital will be better than the last??? I hope so!

I just got back from a weekend with my family that was much needed. I have been sick for a week now with the flu. It just won't seem to go away either. Just when I think it is going away it comes back with something else. I have officially been through aches, fevers, really bad chest pain, a really sore throat, a stuffy nose, nausea and wanting to lie down all the time. And, I had extreme fatigue where I would sleep for thirteen hours or so and still feel like I hadn't slept in a week. Last week was not fun and I ended up skipping a whole day of classes.

It is still painful to breathe, talk and eat. lol. I am really tired.

But, I had a really good weekend at home. I hadn't been home in a while!I really miss it. Also, I was about to go insane here in Toccoa. I just HAD to go home! IT was deifnitely time! My mom had been decorating the house. It looks really good! My mom is such a good decorator!!! I can only hope I will be able to decorate like that one day when I get my own house!

The weekend really went by WAY too fast!!! I spent most of Saturday putting together puzzles and playing board games with Molly. She is such a goof ball! I love her though!

Today was really good! I miss my home church. I actually went to my dad's sunday school class. But, it turned out that God had something to say to me there. So, I guess it wasn't an accident that I went in there.

His lesson this morning was on prayer. And, I had actually heard the parables he shared spoken on a couple weeks ago. So, it was kind of strange that I was hearing it again. Because, they really aren't parables I have even payed much attention to or heard of very often! I had a really good friend once that always said,"IF God says something to you once you should listen to it, if God tells you something twice you should pay more attention, and if he tells you something three times you should realize that it is something you really need to hear and you need to adjust your life accordingly". I know that may seem dumb. But, I do think sometimes God has a way of beating something into my life until I really give it the attention it deserves.

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. And, it seems God always brings me back to tthe same thing: Seek me, and you will find me. But, you must seek me with all of your heart. I also keep hearing the ,"Wait. It isn't time yet". Which is frustrating. Because I feel like it should be time by now. But, sitting in on my dad's sunday school lesson this morning made me realize that God isn't giving up on that message just yet! He has been silent for some time. However, I think he is trying to teach me persistence and to seek Him with all of myself.

My dad shared two parables. The first one was in Luke 11:5-8 which is the Parable of the Persistent Friend. I had always been kind of confused by this parable when I read over it! But, when I heard it explained a couple weeks ago it clicked and I was like,"Wow, I have never realized that is what that meant!!!" It is always cool to learn something new about the Bible. Well, my dad was going back over it and talking about how God wants to give us the answers to what we ask Him. The only key is that He will not always answer our prayers if they are not in accordance with His will. That is our instruction: If you pray according to God's will it will ALWAYS been answered by God. Our job is to pray God's will. We know His will by knowing Him deeply and by seeking Him. But, also, God doesn't always answer us right away. Sometimes He wants to teach us to be persistent. He wants us to really seek Him and not give up. Something cool that my dad brought up was how when Daniel( I think it was daniel? I really hope I am not misquoting) was praying to God for something and really felt like God was late in answering him. However, the angel finally shows up and tells him that he is late in delivering the message because he was fighting with a demon on the way. I mean, you really never know what is going on in the spiritual realm and why GOd is not giving you the answer you want.

One thing I am sure of though is that God wanted me to hear this lesson today! And, I know that I need to be more persistent! The main thing I have been asking for lately is wisdom! ANd, I know that is a prayer God will answer because He says so in his word. He says if any of us lacks wisdom we should ask him for it and he will provide it for us! I am so thankful we have such an amazing God! ONe who wants us to know the right answers in life. He wants the best for us. And, one thing I know, my heavenly Father has never let me down!

I am amazed more and more lately at just how amazing Christ really is! ANd how undeserving I am. I know I am bad at wording the things He shows me. It is so much more amazing when it comes from God. I am bad at relaying the things He speaks to me!

God has definitely been remolding me in some important areas this semester!!! And, I am thankful for that. I can see growth. ONe thing is for sure: God never leaves me the way I am! HE is always making me better. I am so glad! I am realizing more and more though how life is not all about me. Sometimes I want to wine and pitch a fit because life isn't going my way or things aren't happening like I want them to. But, I am so selfish for wanting to do this. I only do because I am so ME focused. LIfe is not at all about me!!! It is completely about God! IF I would be focused on that more often I think my life would have more meaning, be more enjoyable and have eternal importance!!!

I think I am headed to bed now!

I have been so busy I haven't gotten much time to blog on here! This past week everything was due at one time! But, it all got done! Weird...anything seems possible after having gone through last semester with all the work I had to do at one time! I made the honor roll for last semester too! Lol.

Grace came in last weekend. It was a lot of fun! I was really glad she came. I took her on a tour of the campus. We ended up playing Pictionary and Apples to Apples. We also went to Isabelles for dinner! On Sunday we got to hang out with Sara and Andrew!!! It was a lot of fun! I got to go shopping for Molly's birthday present and play with cooper! I miss that little dog :( I need one of my own! lol! IF I end up graduating college and living out on my own I will get a dog! That would be the best present! Then I wouldn't have to get too longely being by myself! Lol.

The time with Grace went by too fast! IT would be awesome if I was going to school at Samford and could just live in an apartment with her! Lol. Too bad I don't have all the money in the world at my disposal!!!

This past week was crazy. I was really tired throughout the whole thing. I haven't gotten to sleep in for a while. So, it was all i could do to push through. By Friday I was literally falling asleep in all my classes no matter how hard I was fighting to keep my eyes open!

But, it was a good week. ON Wednesday me and Jonathan celebrated Valentine's Day. Thursday Lost comes on and he has a three hour night class. So, it wasn't really an option! Lol. But, on Wednesday he took me to Clemson. We ate at Fatz Cafe and then we went to Clemson University for a swing dancing class. They teach you techniques and how to swing dance for thirty minutes and then you put those concepts into practice for a while! I got a SMALL glimpse of what it would be like to go to a big school. They have their own Chilis, bowling alley, etc... It was a goregous campus. And a cute town!!! Plus, I have some really funny stories from the night. But, they include me and Jonathan getting asked to dance by various freaky people. lol.

Thursday was a pretty good day! And, I got a couple of presents from Jonathan. My mom and Dad sent me a package in the mail with cards and stuff in it!!! ANd my Daddy got me some Roses and got them delivered to school! That was pretty amazing! I guess that is the next best thing to being home on a day like that. I miss my family a lot, but especially on holidays!!! They were always a big deal for my family!!!

I was glad when yesterday got here! I was worn out and I was getting sick with something! So, we hung out last night. ME and Meredith and Sam went to eat at McDonalds and then went and saw a movie at Habersham Hills! IT was a lot of fun! I really enjoyed hanging out with them away from campus!

Today I didn't wake up until 1:15 this afternoon and I could have slept longer!!! I was so worn out and I really didn't feel good. I wouldn't have gotten out of bed except the choir had to sing the National Anthem for the basketball game in the gym! I spent the rest of the afternoon lying on my bed watching a movie. Finally I got out to go to Wal Mart and get some medicine. I also picked up a pizza at Dominos and ended up coming back to watch a movie with Sam, Lindsey, PJ, Jonathan and Amber.

It has been a pretty good weekend. Although I am really annoyed that I am getting sick! It only slows me down! haha. Hopefully I will be better by Monday!

My life has been really busy lately. I tihnk I have managed to hang out with friends more this semester than any other semester before now. I go over to Jessie's apartment about three times a week and watch American Idol and Lost! Lost is coming on again tonight! It is so different this season. It hink it will drive me nuts going from week to week not knowing what will happen! Lol.

I have had a lot to do this week because we have had our annual World Outreach Conference, which is centered around missions. We have two chapels a day, which is really rough on a college student who has to continue with their regular schedule, activities and homework.

Tuesday of this week I was out of classes. I really enjoyed sleeping in, catching up on homework and just relaxing. That night I found out that a tornado tore through the campus of Union University. A friend of mine who I was close to in highschool, Roger Bolick, goes there. I heard it on the news and I freaked out. I tried calling him and of course the phones lines were down and stuff. I finally got to talk to him yesterday morning. He said he was fine and all of his friends were fine. No one died in the storm. However, three dorms (including the one he lived in) were completely demolished. There was only one building on campus that remained on touched by the tornado. And, his car was really torn up in the storm. So, he officially has no car, no belongings, etc...I feel really bad for him! His mom went down there yesterday and drove him back to Chattanooga. Classes are cancelled for at least two weeks. It's nuts that something like that can happen. I am glad he is ok. But, I feel bad that so many students are without cars, clothes, etc...They didnt' even have time to get their stuff out of their rooms.

I has been raining a lot lately, which is good! We have really needed it.

God has been teaching me a lot. I am enjoying the church I am involved in right now! I feel there is a lot to pray about in my life right now. So much that I want to know the answer to but I dont. There are plenty things that I feel need a lot of thought, for sure!

One thing I heard a professor/friend tell me recently,"God doesn't just want us to say 'You are beautiful' or to simply think He is beautiful all the time. That is fine. But, GOd wants us to know Him deeply. He wants us to know who He is." I don't know why that struck me so much. I guess because I think a lot of times we pray and say,"You are so beautiful Lord". But, that doesn't mean much if we don't really know who God is. And knowing God is something God wants from us. I was reading through my devotions the other day and I read this quote:

"There is a vast difference between such an affection and that selfish and unhallowed friendship with God which terminates on our own happiness as its supreme motive and end. If a man, in his supposed love to God, has no ultimate regard except to his own happiness; if he delights in God, not for what He is, but for what He is to him; in such a sentiment there is no moral virtue. There is indeed great love of self, but no true love to God. But where the enmity of the carnal mind is slain, the soul is reconciled to the Divine character as it is. God Himself, in the fulness of his manifested glory, becomes the object of devout and delighted contemplation. In his more favored hours the views of a good man are in great measure diverted from himself; as his thoughts glance toward the varied excellence of the Deity, he scarcely stops to inquire whether the Being whose character fills his mind and in comparision of whose dignity and beauty all things are atoms and vanity, whill extend His mercy to him....His soul cleaves to God, and in the warmth and fervor of devout affection, he can often say,"Whom have I in heaven but thee, and there is none on the earth beside thee. As the hart pnateth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God."

This weekend is approaching fast, thank goodness! I am ready for it! Mainly because my classes are boring and they are all early in the morning. That wears on you after a while! Lol. Plus, my aunt is coming to visit me. And, that will be GREAT! I am also spending sunday with Sara and Andrew!

Hope everyone else has a good weekend...

All I Want For Christmas is a Barnslig Flodhast!

Today my house (no, I won't call it a trailer), woke up early and went to Ikea in Atlanta. Some of the people in the house wanted new bedspreads. And we all wanted to hang out. I think we were a little nuts waking up early on a Saturday to hang out. But, we did beat the Saturday crowd, which is really important at Ikea, trust me!

Our trip was a little rocky getting started because it was so cold outside that our wooden front porch was iced over. Meredith ended up slipping down and hitting every step on her way out. She spilled her hot tea all over herself. So, we ended up all helping her out. It looked pretty painful! You gotta hate ice.

When we got there we looked around. Not only did we look around, but we took the pleasure of taking lots of pictures and being goofy when we did them. So, I am glad not many people were around. When we were in the kid world particularly I felt like people were going to think we were there to hurt their kids or something. haha. But, it was a really fun experience. IT was really good to hang out with all the girls in my house for once. We never do that. Actually, one of the girls didn't get to come. But, the rest of us were there. And, Amber was in the car so she isn't in the pictures. The rest of us had fun though. As you can see, we even sat down at one of the tables and prayed over our Ikea (fake) meal.

In the children's section I found this really amazing stuffed animal that I really really wanted to take home with me becaue it was SO cute!!! However, It was ten dollars. And I figured I could better spend that money elsewhere. I told myself once I got to college I shoudn't buy myself stuffed animals anymore. Even if they were really cute! HA! I thought this little creature was a hippo. But, when we read the sign above it we found out that instead it was a BARNSLIG FLODHAST!!! We laughed because the sign above it read : "All soft toys are good at hugging, comforting, and listening and are fond of play and mischief.In addition, they are reliable and tested for safety!" HAHA! Who wouldn't want a stuffed animal that does all of that? Anyways...I think I took about three pictures in front of the thing because I couldn't take it home with me and it was cute. Plus, it was really random and funny. So, I figured that I would just tell Santa next year that all I wanted was a "Barnslig Flodhast" and let him figure out what that means!

We stopped at Chik Fil A (the dwarf house version) on our way back to Toccoa. I think all of us were so hungry and tired by that time that we didn't care where we ate or what we did. We pretty much all fell asleep on the way back. And I just got done taking an hour long nap.

This past week was pretty uneventful besides the nights I spent at Jessie's house watching Lost and American Idol.

On Tuesday Jonathan took me to a Gladiators hockey game. I LOVE hockey. i have no idea why either. But, the guy sitting beside me taught me what the rules and things mean. So, I have a better understanding of it now. Although I was a little embarassed because the guy was talking to me about what was going on in the game. I was trying to make conversation so I said something like,"Yeah, we can't even score with half of their team off the court" and then I realized that in hockey they lovingly call it the "ice" or the "rink" or something. It is never EVER the court. haha. But, I really like it, I find it the most enjoyable sport to watch.It is generally pretty easy to understand! The only thing that comes close to it is basketball! But, still, hockey is on top!

This next week I am out of school for Tuesday. Pretty random. Toccoa named it the day of prayer for our campus and cancelled all classes. We don't get holidays off but we will declare our own prayer day. Who knows.