Gershwin...

This past week went by super fast. I was really glad it did! I have realized more and more over the years a concept about myself that never seems to be a good quality: I hate being in the same place for too long. Don't get me wrong. I HATE change at the beginning. I hate awkward stages where you are starting over and don't know anyone. I hate the unfamiliar. I mean, when I go into a restaurant I will always order the same things. Because I don't want to brach out. I am scared of things I don't know. Even when it's silly. But, there are some things about life that become so monotonous and I really love taking a break from them. The one exception to this rule is home. It will never get old to me.

I have realized this more as I have gotten older. Part of me hates routine because it gets so boring. But part of me loves it because it is familiar to me. I have realized my senior year is bascially just me going through the motions. Because I am pretty sick of school at this point. Maybe I only get that way when the end is in sight? But, I generally hate the routine of going to classes, doing the same work, hearing the same things, everday is the same. I know I should soak it up and enjoy it. Because I don't have long to go! So, that is what I am trying to do!

I love living with the girls in my house. I like college, but I hate the work that comes with it. IT is rewarding in some respects to work really hard at something and then succeed! However, when you've been doing this for three years you get sick of having to read eleven books in one semester. I feel like I don't even have time for what they expect out of me. But, nontheless I will make it work. I always do.

So, there really isn't much to say about last week. It was just like any other week at school: I was doing homework, eating or sleeping.

The only different thing about last week was I didnt have a car, so I was stuck at school with nowhere to go. But, there were some good memories: I got to ride around with Meredith who decided to drive literally like 28 mph on Big A. Everyone was passing us and I was just thinking,"Man, I could run faster than this!" lol. I wouldn' have gotten that experience without not having a car! And now I can mock here relentlessly about it! I did get to go on a date with Jonathan to the new Isabelle's Restaurant and we went to see the movie, "The Family That Preys". It was fun! I cooked Roast, brown rice, rolls and stuff for the first time. I also got to invite bunch of friends over to eat it since a lot of the girls in the house were gone.

And, this weekend I got to go home for my dad's birthday. Thankfully, he was nice enough to use his birthday celebration weekend to help me find a car. So, on Saturday we went car shopping. To be honest, I was a little sad starting out knowing that I couldn't really find anything to love as much us Girdie. However, nothing really compares to your very first car does it? And, I now can look back nad say I was really lucky because I got an amazing car for my first one ever! And, I am so thankful for that.

Anyways...after much looking around and test driving I decided upon a red 2009 Scion xD. I LOVE it! I am so glad to have a new car. I drove it all the way back to school last night. It is pretty awesome!

We also got to celebrate my dad's birthday. I was so glad to have everyone (but Ben) at home. It was a lot of fun! My dad got a new game for the Wii so we all played that. It's a pretty funny game!

Here are some pictures from the weekend:

Don't Mis-LES MIS

This past weekend went by way too fast for me! I am realizing my life is getting more and more hectic. I have way too much to do. And, if I want "downtime" something normally has to go out the window. Whether it be sleep, eating, exercise, homework, time with friends, etc... It is really annoying trying to balance college in some ways!

This past week was a week of mourning in a lot of ways. I was sore from the wreck and was upset about my car and everything that was happening. So, I spent most of the week really sad, sick and crying. haha. But, luckily, sometimes God just takes us through sad times to show us the light again. And, I think I am realizing more and more of His goodness. I am learning from this situation even though it hurts. This week is going lot better. However, I feel like I have ADHD or something. I had no attention span in class today. (I am kidding about having ADHD, I do not have that! I was just having trouble paying attention today because I really didn't want to be going to my classes).

Luckily, I had a good weekend. Friday night I got some much needed time with Meredith. We hadn't really spent time with each other in a while. So, we went out to eat at the Greek Restaurant in town and then we watched a movie and ate some cookies! Lol.

I got to experience the Jockey Lot in Anderson, SC wih Jonathan, Matt and Alayna. We had a good time. It is like a red neck China Town if you ask me. They have knock off purses and just random things. They also have puppies and fruit and things. But, they have carnival type food. I got to eat a funnel cake! YUM! They tried to get me to eat boiled peanuts but I just couldn't get into those! They were nasty! I fell in love with a couple of puppies. But, of course I don't have the money to buy a puppy! Lol.

Saturday afternoon we went to Jonathan's grandfather's birthday! Lol. He was turning 83. So, it was "hoppin". haha. It really was fun though to meet his extended family and see his adorable little cousins! I like his family!

Yesterday I got the priviledge of FINALLY getting to see Les Miserables at the Fox Theatre. I bought the 25 dollar tickets. Thankfully since the show had already been playing for half a month and it was a sunday night, the crowd was slim! So, we got to go all the way down to the 60 dollar seats! It was well worth the money! It was AMAZING! I have been waiting like 5 years to see it! I almost cried on the last number!!! The music is so great!!! I absolutely loved it! It was a good end to the weekend. But, the weekend felt way too short for me! I am ready for another one. ANd, I am definitely ready to graduate! Lol. Soon enough, I guess!

Here are some pictures from the weekend:


















It strange how quickly life can feel different. I remember eventually while I was in the Philippines feeling like my life back in the states never really existed. Now that I am back I sometimes feel like my life in the Philippines never really happened. And, being without my car for just a week or so has made me feel like I never even had a mini cooper. How quickly life can change. It is so strange...

When Life Becomes One Big Wreck...

To be honest with you people. I feel like my life has become one big wreck. And, I mean it in the way that I feel like God is smashing it to pieces. He seems to want to do that to me off and on. I feel it more now that I am in college. But, I realize that I am more of an adult today than I once was (especially since highschool). And, the thought truly makes me happy. I love that God has grown me. But, I feel like I must be really stubborn because a lot of His methods cause much pain. But, I know He wants to grow me in my faith more than I would if life were so happy-go-lucky all the time!

I feel more than ever God is preparing me for real ministry. I see this in a couple ways: more than ever I feel let down by humans. And, I realize how capable people are of just really hurting you. The only person you can really rely on is Christ.I don't say this to sound like,"I hate humans, they stink!" The truth is we are flawed. It's so easy to let humans fulfill you in life. But, eventually you have to realize that Christ is the only one you can truly count on that never lets you down! This is good to realize when you are looking at a life of ministry in your future. People you pour you life, energy and time into can at any moment let you down, turn their back or be completely ungrateful towards you. This is what happens in ministry. I must realize now that no matter what people say or do, I still must love them and be Christ to them. And, I can't run away from ministry or missions because people are hard to deal with. God continues to show me that He is the greatest love I could ever know. But, still sometimes I wrestle with it and set out to prove that there are greater loves in my life.

I also feel like God showed me so much this summer about living with less. How it is compeletely possible to be so happy without a thing. A house is not a home because of the possessions you put in it. I was in a wreck this past weekend. And, my most prized possession (besides my purity ring from my parents) was my car. I loved that thing. And, I couldn't understand why God would allow me to completely total it! I mean, I guess in my brain I am thinking He could've stopped it. And, I think about how grateful I was for that car and how much I LOVED Him. There were still sometimes I was cheesy enough to ride down the road in it and thank God for that car! But, I guess a decision on my part just tore that thing to shreds. And, I sit here realizing how much in my life seems to be hard to deal with all at once. And, sometimes I wonder why God couldn't just teach me things in a less painful way. But, then I realize that it doesn't have to make sense to me. ANd the more questions you ask of God the less answers you seem to get. His ways will most likely never make sense to be this side of heaven. But, everything just comes down to trusting. Trusting how loving, Holy, Gracious, Jealous, and everything He is all in one. And it is times like this when I realize maybe God isn't who I sometimes like to make Him out to be. God is probably doing this to show me more of who He REALLY is. We don't always get the comfortable, easy times in life. And we must learn how to continue living, serving Him and loving others regardless of how hard we have it or how much our life seems to be hurting us.

Sometimes I wonder why God would choose to have me go the most painful route to learn a lesson I feel didn't have to take so much hurt. However, then I realize HE is in the business of changing who I am. See, it's always about Him. It's never about me. And sometimes it takes the most painful things to make me force myself to realize what living life can really be like.

Don't let this blog depress you.ha. Just let it be a reminder that God is not through with me yet. Sometimes, you have to go through the rain to see a rainbow. And, that is super cheesy and kind of dumb...yet so true!

Some pictures...And, believe me...sharing them with you hurts my heart a little bit. Goodbye Girdie, and apparently hello to a new me.




A picture BEFORE Girdie was in a wreck. He's beautiful!

And then....






I'm gonna miss you
I'm gonna miss you when you're gone
She said, "I love you"
I'm gonna miss hearing your songs

And I said, "Please"
Don't talk about the end
Don't talk about how every living thing goes away

She said, "Friend,
All along-
Thought I was learning how to take
How to bend not how to break
How to live not how to cry
But really
I've been learning how to die
I've been learning how to die"

"Hey everyone,
I got nowhere to go
The grave is lazy
He takes our bodies slowly"

And I said, "Please"
Don't talk about the end
Don't talk about how every little thing goes away

She said, "Friend,
All along-
Thought I was learning how to take
How to bend not how to break
How to live not how to cry
But really
I've been learning how to die
I've been learning how to...
Die
Die
I've been learning how to die."

Meredith is making a casserole right now and it made me laugh because she had some extra bread crumbs and looked at me and said,"I am going to go feed them to the ground hogs outside." I just had this mental image of her going to feed the ground hogs that I have never seen in our yard. She was outside a while so I thought she was waiting on them to show up. Actually, she went down to the ground hogs hole and threw at the opening. I think that makes me laugh too!

My first commissioning service, but hopefully not my last!

This week has been kind of crazy. I have been fighting off some type of sickness but my body just decided it didn't want to fight anymore apparently. I am getting more and more worn out. And, I have a TON to do! I have never had so much reading in all of my years of college. It is slightly overwhelming!!! I am starting my big paper today!

There isn't much to tell about the past week really. I have mainly done a LOT of homework. I didn't have to cook this week because it was my week off. I finally finished my study of the book of James and am trying to figure out what I want to do next. Part of me wants to take time again reading the whole bible. I haven't done that in a couple years.

My heart has been aching a lot lately for the kids in the Philippines. I really miss them a lot. From time to time I shed a couple tears about it! I want to be there for them more than ever right now! It's weird how badly you can miss a place that isn't even home! I miss little things about the Philippines even. I guess that's normal though?

Yesterday I got the priviledge of attending a commissioning service with the International Mission Board. It was in Jonesboro and my mission's professor said he wanted to take us Southern baptist students who were interested in going on the mission field to see it! I had always been told I HAD to see one sometime. So, I defnitely wanted to go! Me and just one other girl signed up, and since my professor was a guy he decided it wouldn't be good to go with just us two. Luckily, Jonathan was more than willing to step in so we still got to head down there. We stopped for dinner at Checkers (which I had never eaten at but wasn't too impressed with) and then headed to First Baptist Church of Jonesboro.

I was like a kid at christmas! I was so excited to be there! I got pretty much everything that the IMB was allowing you to take brochure wise. lol. The service was from 7:00-9:00 PM. I was blown away by it really. I was really impressed with those who worked with the IMB. It amazed me! They all seemed like great people.

Something that God also struck me with was the couple of girls who were there getting commissioned that weren't married. Most of the people were couples. And, when you think about it they at least had one another for support. They walked down front holding one another's hands. They got to have the one who was less shy speak when they gave testimonies. But, those few single girls really impressed me. They had to stand on their own. They had to speak on their own. They are going overseas on my own. The thought of it brought tears to my eyes because I know how hard of a commitment it must be for them. Imagining going overseas by myself on missions is very scary. Yet, those girls told the Lord "Yes". And I think it means something slightly different in their case than in the case of those who had someone to go with them! But, it just shows how Worthy Christ is of us giving everything we have to give! He is worth it even if there is no one to stand beside you. Their faith spoke to me last night even though I had never met them before. I know God was up in heaven saying, "Well done".

God brought me back through the times in my life when I felt like I could not go on. When I did not feel I had anyone and when things were really difficult. And he reminded me of how HE was always there for me. He was always providing for me and making life possible in he hardest of times! And the thought brought a smile to my face. Because, the hardest thing is stepping out on faith and telling God "yes". Even when you don't know what all that means. Even when you have a lot to be scared of. It's knowing that God has always taken care of you and He will always continue to do so! Especially if you are walking with Him in faith. I believe those girls were doing that. Not just them, but also each of the couples there!

IT was great to hear their stories of how God brought them to this point. There was 84 people being commissioned. And each one had a different story to tell! I got to hear each one! It was exciting to me hearing how they knew God had called them to overseas missions and seeing them actually tell him "Yes" was even more amazing!!!
The service was inspiring and exciting! It was very God centered and challenging!

I was really glad I got to go! I apppreciate it and hope to be back there one day walking down the aisle myself!!! It brings my heart joy to think of all the amazing people that will have their lives changed by the message of Christ!

That is really the only exciting thing about my life thus far. I got back late last night so I am pretty worn out today!

Tomorrow I am leaving to go back to Chattanooga. I know I was just there, but I feel it's been forever since I have seen home. I am excited about going back and speaking at church. I can only pray that I won't say anything to embarass myself. I am not a good public speaker. And I normally end up saying something stupid!

That's all....

My First Blog In Forever....

It's been a while. I took a break from blogging after returning from the Philippines. It was a much needed break from everything. Especially since it took me almost an hour to type each blog I wrote while I was there.

What have I been up to since then? The weeks I was home I spent hanging out with my family, seeing some friends and trying to catch up on sleep. I really didn't do anyting super productive. At times it was a hard transition. I still cry because I miss the kids sometimes. I didn't realize how hard it would be to leave them and go a world away. It almost seems like those two months were a dream. Coming home I was scared the things God taught me would somehow fade like they do sometimes when you go to summer camp or something. However, as I have gotten further away from the trip I have realized that a lot of the lessons I learned have stuck! Nothing could've prepared my heart for how much I would miss those kids though. Especially MJ. I wish I could see them again!!! I have come to appreciate some things about America and have come to despise others because of my trip overseas. But, I am working at readjusting even still. I am speaking about my trip at church on Septmeber 14th. The further away from the trip I get though, the harder I feel it is to talk about. I hope it goes well.

I moved into school almost a two weeks ago now. I am living in a little house called Wildwood with five other girls. I have to say, I think Senior year will be the best one yet! I am really looking forward to it. Our little house it cozy and way more spacious than anything I have had in the past. I am still trying to get over feeling claustrophobic though when I sleep. I have the bottom bunk and this year for some reason the bunks are super close together so that I can't even sit up when I am in bed.

The girls in our house bought a kiddie pool that we set out front. Yeah, we are a little weird. lol. But, it is really funny. We have yet to get into it! Maybe one day soon! I absolutely love the girls I live with though! I am realy enjoying having such amazing Godly women in my life that I can always hang out with! We have been switching off nights to cook in the house. Each one of us takes a different night and cooks dinner for the rest of us. Since there are six of us, and we only cook dinner four nights a week, we each get a week off every two weeks! It has worked out really well so far. I have found myself eating a lot more healthy. I mean, technically anything is healthier than the cafeteria! But, I have gotten quite a few new recipes from our meals together! ANd I really enjoy getting to sit down with all the people I live with and just chat.

My week looks like this:

M,W,F: I wake up at 5:00 AM and go to the YMCA to work out. I get back around 6:20 and get ready. I also eat breakfast. I have an 8:00 class and then at 9:00 I get to come back to the house o relax and do my devotion. Ten is chapel and then I have my FUndamentals of Music class. I take my lunch break at 12:00 and usually go back to the house and cook an omelet or some soup and eat some yogurt with it. I have my World Religions class at 1:00 and my Senior Paper class at 2:00. My senior paper class is slowly frustrating me. I learned MLA formatting in highschool. However, now APA seems to be the format that people want you to write your papers in. So, I am having to learn how to write papers all over again. I am also struggling with my music classes. I feel a little lost. But, if I can stick it out and try really hard I think I will appreciate it later. And, that is what I intend to do. Up until this point in my life I have quit everything that pertains to music in my life. And I deeply regret doing so.

Tuesday and Thursday is a less complicated. It's my favorite day because I get to sleep until 9:00. I then go to chapel and go from there to my Aural Skills class. I get done with all of my classes at 12 on those days and get the rest of the day for homework. As well as attending my aerobics class around 4:30.

I have been stressing over a powerpoint I have due on Saturday lately. I have to present a ten minute power point presentation on my internship this Saturday to all of the World Missions professors. To me that is really intimidating. And since I can't really do what they asked in the syllabus (but they know this)I am a little confused about what to do. At this point I have redone my powerpoint three times so I am a little frustrated! Hopefully that will go well!

I feel like I have been just really busy with everything lately. Homework is keeping me really busy. I have so many papers to write and so many books to read already. It will definitely be a busy semester. I had my teacher ask me if I was having a slower semester since I had less hours than I normally did. My reply was,"You know, I thought I would. But since I am a senior now I just have more hard work than I used to. So I am spending as much time as I would doing work as I did when I had more hours."

God coninues to teach me so many new things each day, as well! I am constantly amazed at His faithfulness to me even when I am so unfaithful in my relationship with Him at times! I am blown away by His love and I realize more and more as I get older what a perfect and matchless love He has for me. I want to be satisfied in Him and Him alone. I want Him to be the center of my life. I am praying that my prayer life will continue to grow like i did this summer!

Oh...one last thing...all last week our campus was getting tons of rain. And since we have a waterfall and river on our campus it was not a pretty sight! Lol. The river was overflowing and flooding our campus. Also, the waterfall was close to looking like Niagra Falls.




Have a great week!