A New Year Brings New Opportunities....

Today has been a good day at church. I feel at home there. I guess cause I have spent a lot of my time there.

This past week has been pretty laid back. My brother came into town this weekend. I have gotten to see him the past three weekends. That was good! I really don't get to see him much since he is all the way in Mississippi! But, we got to see each other a lot lately and that has been nice. I am not sure when I will get to see him next! That is kinda sad...

My little sister got a trampoline for Christmas. And, I hadn't jumped on one since I was growing up in Mississippi. We had one back then. Me, Sara and Molly went out there. We played all the dumb games we used to play on the trampoline and we had a lot of fun! It is amazing how much higher I can jump now that I am older! It's more fun nowadays! Lol. WE jumped on it for like forty minutes. It is a good workout. I was out of breathe within about five minutes. ha!

New years is fastly approaching. Casey preached this morning at church and he preached on New Years. He talked about how last year (and every year before that) is a hallway full of doors (doors of opportunity) and we opened some doors we shouldn't have and passed some we shouldn't have. Sometimes we go through time without taking the opportunities God gives us to do the things He wants us to. Sometimes we force open doors that God wants us to leave shut. And, we have a brand new year to change all of that. We have a new year full of new opportunities/new doors that we can walk in or not. A lot of it was about finding God's will and how prayer is a big part of that.

Isn't it weird how New Year's seems to hold out a sense of hope? It is like a new beginning. A chance at starting over. A time to reflect on the things we have done wrong and try to get them right. It is a time where anything is possible really because nothing has happened yet. You don't know what it will hold. You don't know how things will turn out. Even if last year was crappy it just seems like looking towards the new year you can hope for something better, or different than that. It is weird how hopeful the New Year is.

To be quite honest, looking over this past year I have to say I do have some regrets (like every year...I mean, I am not perfect by any means). I have also seen how far God has carried me though. He has stretched me and taught me so many things. It blows my mind looking back at where one miesly year can take you! IT has taken me far. I have been through lots of heartache and lots of joy, too! I have enjoyed myself and been miserable at times. Sometimes waiting on God can be tough. Sometimes I speed ahead of Him. Sometimes I try things on my own until he kicks me back on my butt and shows me I can't do anything by myself. I need Him. I really do! And, I am hoping this next year that Christ will lead me down the hallways. That I will open every door I need to and keep every door closed that needs to remain closed. I pray I will allow Him to do this. Because I know He wants to. IT is how he designed it to be.

I think a lot of the highlights that had to do with this year mainly had to do with being with family at times. And God moved me into a trailer full of seven other girls. Each one is completely committed to Christ and doing His will. Each one is encouraging. EAch one is goofy. Each one is really encouraging to me! I think God put them there to help me get through last semester. Because I really needed some encouragment. ANd they gave it! Our poor trailer has been through a lot from the stove catching on fire, ants taking over, the internet going out everytime the wind blew, the bathroom flooding, being invaded by lady bugs to the elctricity cutting out and the dvd player stopping. But, it made us laugh. And, I have really enjoyed being with these girls. They were God's gift to me.

I also saw God clearly direct me to where I was supposed to go this next summer for Summer missions. I will be headed to Davao, PHilippines in June.

I have seen God get me through a really hard (academically) semester and keep me sane through it all.

I have gotten to be with friends and family. I have also been through a time in my church where I think about 12 people in a span of 2 weeks died.

And, I hope this next year takes me even further. I, of course, hope that it is a good year. And I hope that maybe God wants to teach me lessons this year in a less painful way. But, I am thankful for what God has shown me. I am thankful that He is so good to me.

I definitely know there are things I can improve on: I want to get better in my prayer life. I really just want to learn to rely and trust on Christ more. I want to wait patiently for God and I want to spend more time studying in His word. I want to put Him first and not be so busy I forget about my relationship with Him.

I also want to love others more. I sometimes don't do very well at that. I want to show them the love of Christ. I want to be sympathetic and be understanding more often.

I want to keep in touch with people better. This past year I was so bad at keeping in touch with those who weren't in my general vicinity.

I want to have joy. That means, consistency and constance.

I want to continue working out and trying to eat more healthy.

I will stop making a list before I really let myself down later on! Lol. But, these are just a few things I see room for improvment in. I know I have been through a lot this past semester. And, I know no one, no matter how close they are to me really knows how much it has been. But, I know God has had a purpose. I have grown a lot. And I anticipate growing still.

Bryan told me this morning in Sunday School about the Peach Drop in Atlanta on New Year's Eve! Sounds awesome to me! I must say!!! I looked it up! I want to go! HA! Maybe one year!

Don't Let The Kids Near The Gum Drop Tree....

So, Christmas is over and New Years is almost here. I cannot believe another year has come and gone.IT blows my mind to think back on this one year and how far it's taken me. So much has happened. God has molded me SO MUCH! But, I will leave that for another blog in time. lol.

IF there were one thing/place I would want to be and have near me it would be anywhere really, as long as it were with all of my family. I am reminded frequently of the Sara Groves song that says,"I wish that all those I loved the most could gather in one place. And know each other and love each other well." I think as I get older I realize more and more how little time I think I really have with those I love. WE are all spread apart, living our own lives. And it makes me sad to think about all the phases of each persons life I miss out on seeing. I don't get to watch those I love grow up, grow old, or just mature in other ways. I wish I could do that. I wish all of my family were always together. THat would be nice. I got a glimpse of what that would be like this Christmas break. It was a good feeling! I really enjoyed it. This was the first time it has REALLY felt like Christmas in a while. And, well, it was a special Christmas in my heart. I am not really sure why. But, I pray I have many more just like it. And that God blesses me with all of my family being together again like He did this year. It went by too fast.

I love Christmas. I love the many things you can grow to expect around this time of year. My Gran always breaks out the gum drop tree, the santa that plays symbols, the red bird tree, etc...I have seen all of these things in her house since I was little. And it wouldn't be Christmas without them!!! I love how on Christmas Eve my Grandaddy always tells the lamest jokes, like,"I think I hear jingle bells, we better all go to bed or Santa won't stop here. He won't stop unless we are asleep". Haha. My Grandaddy still tells that joke. Even though we are all old and know Santa is not real.He even got out the little Strawberry Short Cake telephone this year and rang Santa up and turned to me and goes,"Santa says you have been bad this year..." haha. I love it!WE all gather around the piano and sing Christmas carols. We read the Christmas story. Christmas Eve we all sleep in pallets on the floor in the dining room. ANd the doors are all shut. My brother usually for some reason thinks it is funny to roll over us and squish us. We are always pretty hyper and we talk and laugh. I like change sometimes. But, I love routine. Especially on holidays. I love being able to look forward to certain things. I love thinking of Christmas and going,"Oh, I can't wait until my Grandaddy tells his lame joke." Or,"I can't wait to eat the coffee cake Gran makes ever Christmas Day morning." Yeah, I guess I am cheesy like that.

The picture above is of all of us sleeping on our pallets on Christmas Eve. It is a tradition. I got to see my brand new baby cousin Cooper. I also got to see Cousin Rachel for the second time. I hadn't seen her since she was four months old. She was so adorable!She is busy.And, she has the cutest smile. I included picture of my cousins and my family. I will explain this: My dad got some "bling" from my Uncle Jay (his brother). And, So, he put it on and I took a picture. I told him to make his "bling face" though. haha.

I miss my family already. I wish I were back there hanging out and enjoying their company. I am afriad it won't be long before things just won't be like this anymore. ANd that is a relization you have to come to as you get older. But one that is hard to accept!

Let It Snow Baby...Let It Reindeer!

I am headed to Mississippi tomorrow to celebrate Christmas with family. What are the odds do you think of it actually snowing for Christmas? I guess they aren't very high seeing as I will be in Mississippi. I don't think they have gotten snow there since the ice storm of '95. haha.

I am really looking forward to it! I haven't been to Mississippi since last Christmas. It's been a whole year! Something about being there feels a little bit like home to me! I guess because I grew up there. A lot of my crazy childish days were lived out there. I get to see my new baby cousin for the first time since he was born. I also get to see my other new cousin again. I saw her once when she was four months old. And now she is one year and four months old. CRAZY!!! It has been FOREVER! I am really excited about going to spend time with them. Especially since I found out I won't be able to go on vacation this year. This makes me sad. And that cuts out one of the only times in the year when I can see my grandparents. SAD! I get to see them three times a year: on vacation, at thanksgiving, and at Christmas. This is no way to live! Next year I will only see them twice. So, once I see them for this Christmas break it will be almost a year until I get to see them again!

I intend to soak up every minute that I can with them!

I am really excited about Christmas. Ever since I have been in college it doesn't seem too much like Christmas when the season rolls around. THis year does more than last year though. But, the presents are all gone from underneath the tree and starting tomorrow there will be no more Chubbers anymore!

I am finishing up my study on Ephesians. I have been studying it for half of a year now. And, I am finally to the 6th chapter. I have learned a lot. God had a lot to show me through it. Right now I am studying spiritual warfare. It is something I tend to toss to the side and act as if it doesn't really exist. I know it does. But, I think I get annoyed whenever people say things like,"Oh, Satan is attacking you". Maybe it is because I have been in the christian sub culture my whole life and feel like christians chalk everything up to "Satan did this" or "Satan did that". When, I tend to believe yourself and your own pleasures and sinful ways have a lot to do with things. But, it's good for me to ponder more often the fact that spiritual warfare is real.

I have a lot to think about this Christmas season. It seems I have a lot to figure out. I think I would much rather just leave it all to God and hope that He would just drop the answer into my lap from the sky. I guess it is true though, I won't be able to "figure anything out" on my own. I continually pray God will show me the way and help me to be wise. But, I guess if I am terrified of not being in God's will perhaps He will make sure I stay there? I tend to like to look at it from that direction.

Anyways...I hope you all have a great Christmas. And more importantly, I hope that you look around at all the presents, family and things that you have and thank God that He not only gave you His son, but He blessed you with so many other things. I have been amazed lately just thinking about it: God didn't owe me a thing. I was horrible. I was a sinner. I was nothing remotely attractive. Especially to the God of the whole universe. I have nothing to offer Him. Yet, He gave me His Son. And, He didn't stop there. He gave me blessing after blessing. I have so many things. I have an amazing christian family. I have good friends. I have a pretty house, a nice car. My whole college expenses are paid for. I have nothing to worry about in life. I am set. God has given me all this. He gave me His son. I didn't deserve it. And He gave me things above and beyond that. He did it knowing that there would be so many days when I would think nothing of the things He has given me. When I would have a selfish heart or a prideful heart about things. He knew I would be ungrateful and forget about Him sometimes. But, He did it anyways.

I guess I am blown away by the thought that God sent his greatest treasure down to Earth. To put on this nasty flesh that we live in. And, to be treated poorly by those He came to save. And He did it partly for me. And He did it for you. I wish I could do more for Christ than just be thankful for one moment that He did this for me. Because I know He deserves more than that from me. I am reminded of a song that says,"What can I give Him, poor as I am?" It's so true.

That was a long side note. But, I just hope that you take time to not only ponder these things, but to give God the praise He deserves in your life. Because, even if you find yourself in a horrible circumstance. Christ still gave you the greatest gift you could ever recieve. Think about it. Nobody can match the gift He gave you. It is a gift that lasts forever. IT is a gift that you can use and have every day for the rest of your life and beyond. It was something no one else on Earth could offer you. I don't want to take it for granted.

So, take time to think about Christ and what He means to you.

Kids Say The Funniest Things...

Since my time at home I have gotten to enjoy a lot of time with my family. Which has been really nice. It is not very often that I get to do that anymore. I am trying to soak up the time I have to sleep in, watch television (like a normal person) and do virtually nothing. THe last time I did any such thing was four months ago. I started thinking to myself today about Toccoa Falls College and how sometimes while I am there I feel like I am out of touch with reality. Even something as small as getting to watch one episode of Reba or King of Queens makes me feel at home somewhat again.

Then I pondered on my future. And how I will be in a foreign place (most likely) with no sense of normalcy around me. And the thought for a second kind of creeped me out. Sometimes at Toccoa all I wanna do is just drive somewhere NORMAL for just an hour so I can feel in touch with reality again. There is something horrible about feeling stuck somewhere for me. When I am in an airplane the thought of the fact that I cant just get off if I want to drives me nuts. I don't like being anywhere that I can't just change my situation with a snap of a finger. But, I thought about how that is what the life of a christian is about: Giving up what we want for what Christ wants for us. Once you are a christian life isn't just about yourself anymore. It is about God. We are called from a self absorbed lifestyle into one of self denial. And then I thought about how worth it it would be to give up all normalcy because I am doing it for Christ. Giving up all you know is never a comfortable thing. Especially for me. yeah, carrying all of my belonging in one backpack and getting on a plane and leaving my family and staying in a foreign world by myself for two months is not comfortable. It is so far from that. Especially for someone like me.

I was left with thoughts today of how self absorbed our society really is and how a lot of times I follow right along with it. Even this blog is a little of self absorption. Today I was so self absorbed about getting to the next place in my day's schedule that I am pretty sure I missed an opportunity to tell someone about Christ. Today was one big annoyance for me. I was stuck in a car wash place for almost two hours. I was sitting in an office with a rotwieler but then decided I had had enough when the puppy used the restroom in the office and hten wanted to come put his paws all over me (the same paws that had just walked in his urine). I was left out in the cold standing in the parking lot. And the guy came up to talk to me. We started talking about his puppy (I had nothing else to resort to to make conversation). And of course because it was Christmas time I started to ask him about the holidays. He quickly told me he hated Christmas and that he would rather work on Christmas than have a day off and sit around and do nothing. I felt as if I could have just had an opportunity to tell him something important. But instead I was thinking about how cold it was, how I was freezing and how I wanted to get out of there. My world is so selfish. And when it is I miss out on God's opportunities in my life.

So, what if I do sail across the ocean with only a backpack full of a couple things to last me a whole two months. Maybe for once I will not be so focused on myself. Maybe for once Christ will open my eyes to what it means to TRULY have a heart for others and for Christ's work. I long for Christ's heart and His passion. And sometimes I feel like I can't have it allowing myself to be so comfortable all the time.

I need to be more focused on other things.

I did get my passport all worked out today. That was a good feeling. My sister is CRACKING ME UP lately. Molly is hilarious. She always will give you a good laugh if you pay attention to what she is saying. Here are some recent quotes of hers:

Me: AHHH!!! This is getting on my nerves!
Molly: What's wrong Jessica? Are you jealous?
Me: No. Do you even know what jealous means?
Molly: Yes. It means Angry, mad, etc...
Me: No, I don't think I'm jealous.

haha.

Me: Molly, what did you ask Santa to bring you for Christmas?
Molly: You will have to wait and see.
Me: Oh come on, just tell me.
Molly: Well, I will tell you this: I only asked for things that Santa and his elves could make in his workshop.

Ben: Molly, what is on that underwear?
Molly: It's monkeys holding I-Pods and listening to their music. It says: Tunes


I don't know. For some reason these just really cracked me up!!! She makes me laugh so much.

Well, I think I am going to go. We are going to watch a christmas movie as a family.

My Future In The Philippines...

I slept in pretty late this morning. And am still trying to figure out what to do about working out. HAHA. I got on the computer and found a response back from the Nehemiah Teams on my email. I have learned lots of things through this email that I had not yet known about my trip to the PHilippines. I will be based in Davao for sure. I will be working with at least two other girls. These girls have supposedly been there a whole semester already. So they will know each other and their way around and can hopefully help me out with things I need to know about!

I also learned I will be bathing from a bucket. The thought just makes me laugh. I have never done such a thing before. But, since Davao City is on the beach but also in the jungle, there won't be very many resources for me that other people might have. I will be living onsite at the orphanage. I will be sleeping on an air mattress that I bring. I will need to fit all of my belongings in a backpack. There are no suit cases I will be bringing. Of course this means I am about to go out and find the biggest backpack of my life.Otherwise, I have no idea how I will fit the list of things they want into a backpack. No worries, this is not because of my in the past packing habits. Because I realize for the summer the bare minimum is okay. I am not really into looking cute or having a bunch of options to choose from when I will be bathing out of a bucket. haha. I will be cooking my own food.

But, I am so exciting about this: I will be involved in evangelism. I was really excited about being in the orphange. But, I was really hoping this mission trip offered some opportunities to really get in there and share my faith with the people. We will apparently be traveling around the Philippines some. So, all of my days will not be spent in the orphanage or onsite. I will be speaking at churches and I will be involved in some evangelism outside of the orphanage. They are strategically placing us in areas they believe need to hear more of the gospel. This is exciting to me. Who cares about bathing in a bucket if people can come to know Christ. At least that is the attitude I am maintaining at this point in time. I am still trying to work out the kinks in my mind of how I am supposed to bath all of myself if I bathe with a bucket and with a bathing suit on. haha. Which are the requirements since the bathroom is not a private location. In fact, there is no bathroom with a shower. haha.

So, as you can see this will be a HUGE growing time in my life. I don't have to fully know the future to know that about this trip. Especially after seeing all the information this morning. Prayers will be much appreciated. This will be a little out of my comfort zone. But, that was never a bad thing for me in life. It just makes me a more mature person. And, I could use a little growth. It is nice to know a little bit more about what I will be facing.

Lately....

I made it throught the semester! I haven't gotten all my grades back yet, but I only have three classes to go and so far I have all A's. Let's hope I keep it that way. I sure did work hard enough to make all A's. This past week was pretty hectic. This whole semester has been hectic for me. I have no idea what to do now tht I am home and I actually don't have to go anywhere or do anything. It's the first time in four months I haven't had a long list of activities and assignments to fill up all of my free time.

I did get to enjoy myself last week though. I went to a couple Christmas parties and hung out with the girls in my trailer. That was fun! Thursday me and Jonathan celebrated Christmas by going to The Biltmore Estate in Asheville, North Carolina. It is about 2 1/2 hours from where we are in Toccoa. But, it was worth the drive. It was all decorated for Christmas time! It was BEAUTIFUL!!! I was amazed at how big the house was and that a bachelor built it for himself. IT was crazy. I enjoyed it though! We exchanged gifts and stuff. It was a good trip. None of my pictures really turned out though because it was so dark outside. I would really like to see it in the daytime when I can actually see the garden and everything! Maybe someday! I still really loved it!

I got home on Friday around 3:00 pm. On Saturday everyone got in: BEn, Sara and Andrew. Me and Ben spent half of the day at the grocery store. I came home and cooked some things for a christmas present I was giving to some friends. And then that night we all ate dinner together. WE also went to the churches cantata. My dad was in the music performance. After that we came back home and had our family christmas. It was good to all be together and get to open gifts and stuff! I enjoyed it! Sara and Andrew left last night.

Today we went to church and went out to eat at Acropolis. Ben is leaving in a little while to go back.

It is sad for everyone to leave. We didn't get to spend a lot of time together. It was really good to all be together again. But, luckily, in a couple days we will all be together agian and I will even get to meet my new cousin, Cooper and see some family I haven't seen in a really long time.

I am looking forward to it!

Exam week is going well. I have two more exams to go and then it's over. I have a group presentation tomorrow and the rest of the day off. I think I will just spend ALL DAY studying for my exam on Thursday. It is going to be really hard. It is going to be my hardest one. I have my jury for Voice on Thursday. I will have to go in front of the music department professors and sing whatever song they pick for me to sing. I am kind of nervous about that!

Tonight I am going to eat dinner with a cousin of mine that lives near Toccoa. Should be good!

My car is all decorate for Christmas! Lol. I decorated it like a reindeer. haha. I have gotten lots of weird looks, compliments (which are few and far between) and some mean looks. haha. Oh well. I like it!

OUr Barnabas group had a christmas card last night. It was fun! We played games, ate food and talked. I haven't done a White Elephant Gift in a long time!

This week in my devotion I am learning about husbands and how they are called to love their wives. It is really interesting. And, I noticed something I hadn't really noticed before. I mean, you hear the typical spill about how husbands are called to give up themselves and die to self in order to love their wives. However, today I focused on something I had never focused on before. One of the ways husbands are called to love their wives is through purifying them with the washing of water by the Word. Husbands are called to protect their wives from anything that would harm their relationship with Christ. They are called to protect them from the world and believing false doctrines. I think that is really neat. I guess I had never really thought about that aspect of it before!

I have three more days to go and then CHRISTMAS BREAK BEGINS!!! I can't wait!!!

Friday was the Christmas Banquet. I put a picture to the right of the group I went with. From left to right: Ryan, Emily, Jonathan, Me, Ben, Ashley, Ricky, Jim, and Heather.

We went down there and got lost because there was a road block. It was in the Gainesville Civic Center. They had it all decorated.The theme was "A Black Tie Affair". It was really pretty. They had the jazz band play and they had cornerstone cater. It was really nice. I had fun hanging out with Ashley and Ben and getting to know everyone else a lot better than I did!

After the banquet we went to Duluth to a Swing Dancing Club. It was so much fun! It made me want to take lessons! It was a lot of fun even though I really didn't have a clue what I was doing! Lol. I want to go back. There was this old man in suspendors who asked me to dance. haha. I said NO! There was also a black guy that was promising he had seen me before. WEIRD! After that we just drove back. I ended up going to bed around 3:00.

I woke up Saturday at 11:00 because we had pratice. I cooked omelets and sausage spinwheels for lunch. Practice lasted for a litle over an hour. Then I spent the night with Jonathan going to Blimpie and to see the movie August Rush. If you haven't seen that movie you SHOULD!!! It was SO good. I wanted to cry throughout the whole thing. But, it was really good!

Today I had to go to church in town because we have a performance this afternoon. Sara and Andrew are coming into town for the performance. So, I am looking forward to seeing them!
I am glad last week is over. It was so stressful and busy for me. This next week will be way more laid back than that was for me!!!





They had costumes there they we could dress up in and take picture with. lol.