CHRISTMAS!

The Real World. That is where I live my every day. The place where you realize you are a true grown up because you are going to go to work eight hours for five days out of the week. Where you realize you only get 12 days of vacation per year. The one where you only get a break every once in a while.

That is what it is to be grown up.

And so this Christmas was all the more wonderful to me because of this. Because starting a new job and working 40 hours a week can take a lot out of you. It was really nice to spend an entire week with my husband knowing I could see him all day if I wanted to. It was nice to finally see my family again. Because being eight hours away with a real job doesn't allow you to just go see them whenever you feel like it.

This Christmas break was much needed. It was wonderful. It will stick out in my mind for years to come because:

1. It was my first christmas being married and splitting the time between two families.

2. It was my first White Christmas.

3. I got snowed OUT of going back home and stayed in Atlanta an extra day. That's right, Raleigh got 8-10 inches of snow!

4. I appreciated the time with my family so much more than I have in years past because it is so precious to me since I don't really get to see them often.

5. I felt the Spirit near. I felt more focused on Christ and more grateful for all He has done. I am truly undeserving.

6. I met Jonathan's extended family that I have never met before.

Here are some Christmas pictures:

The Greatest Love Story

I'm a sucker for a love story. It's my favorite genre of books and movies. Doesn't take much to reel me in. It's pretty sad. But I just love the thought of a white horse and a prince. And someone rescuing you from all saddness and hopelessness. haha.

Ok, so the older I've gotten the more I've realized how unrealistic this fantasy is. Don't *GASP* at me and think I am saying my husband is not amazing. To me he is prince charming. But he's only human. And fairy tales are not written about humans. The bad things is we let our kids watch Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty. And we think that the guy who comes along has to be PERFECT. It might be silly. But that's really what I thought. I was seriously looking for a PERFECT person to come along, sweep me off my feet, never make me angry, etc... And that just isn't going to ever happen.

Of course, there are many moments when my own romance has taken my breath away or given me the "warn fuzzies".

But, no matter how hard Jonathan tries to be my Knight and Shining armor, he will never achieve perfection. Us humans are incapable.

My point? There is a love story that this year has literally given me warm fuzzies all over. And it has brought a smile to my face. And it has made me realize I have a Knight in Shining Armor. A perfect love. Hope when there is none anywhere else. And that is something that no one else can give me.

I realize I may sound cliche' or cheesy. But I really don't care. Seriously. When I was reading the Christmas story tonight it gave me chills. It made me smile. It is a warm and fuzzy story. It ends well. There is no heart break for me in it. Only Hope. Peace. Joy. Love. It's a wonderful story.

I hope it won't just be a story that we look at for what it can give to us though. I hope it motivates us to live for the One who deserves the deepest admiration we can muster.

And I hope you will let it take your breath away.

More importantly, I hope we will allow it to change our lives, the way we conduct every day.

Luke 2
The Birth of Jesus
1 In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. 2 (This was the first census that took place while[a] Quirinius was governor of Syria.) 3 And everyone went to their own town to register.

4 So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. 5 He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. 6 While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, 7 and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.

8 And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. 9 An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10 But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. 11 Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. 12 This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

13 Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

14 “Glory to God in the highest heaven,
and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

15 When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

16 So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. 17 When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, 18 and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. 19 But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. 20 The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

Childhood dreams.

When I was growing up, like any other kid, I dreamed about what I wanted to do with my life. Funny how magical that seemed. Having a career. haha. Oooh, ahh. It really isn't magical, is it? Unlike most kids, I would become obsessed with certain ideas and preparing myself to do the most amazing job at them. I mean, my childhood definitely speaks to the fact that I gave up on things EASILY. Good to know it's something you can grow out of. ha. Here are the top things I wanted to do when I got older:

1. Be an Archaeologist. I wanted to explore the desert and find dinosaur bones and cool trinkets. haha. I would go in the yard and dig until I found "treasure". This led me to some how acquiring a metal detector from a friend and collecting all sorts of rings. Two of these random rings ended up on my ring bearer's pillow at my wedding. Just a little reminder of where I came from. haha.

2. A Ventriloquist. I used to want to do this SO BAD. I actually got a Ventriloquist doll from my nanny one christmas. It was Howdy Doody. Anyone remember him? Probably not. He's not even from my time. Anyways, one of my friends told me a scary story involving a doll coming to life. And I would never touch the doll or go in my room again until my mom got rid of it. There went that dream. Thanks to a friend I am now not following my dreams. haha.

3. A Magician. And so I got a magician kit for Christmas one year. And I would do all these awesome tricks (really they were about as lame as Jonathan's card tricks. ha). But, hey, not everyone is a good magician. I eventually gave that dream up when I realized no one was fooled by my tricks.

4. A singer. I wanted to move to Nashville and go to college there. All while trying to get a record deal.


It's funny the things we want to do growing up isn't it? Then God comes along and shows us how silly we are. And He molds our hearts to follow after what HE designed for us to do. And I am very thankful he called me to the mission field. All the other things seem even sillier when I consider where I am headed now.

God spoke to me during the service yesterday to this end. And reminded me of how important this call on my life really is. I have been kind of discouraged lately. Because of health issues in the family. Circumstances that don't make sense. And hard, hard things that I know friends of mine or my families are going through. And it's hard for me lately to not be emotional about it and wonder why God would do such a thing. J.D. Greear yesterday said he met a girl who claimed she believed in God but just didn't like him. She said he wasn't fair. Why would He allow everyone to suffer so much when He had all the power in the universe to stop it? And so this girl had decided God was her enemy. He wasn't for her. But he was against her. And I sat there in church thinking about how I sometimes don't understand God. But I don't want to head down the road of not liking him because my brain doesn't get it.

In the pew (well, really we sit in chairs...don't judge) I wanted to cry. Thinking about how unfair God seemed to be lately. And God spoke to me. He reminded me that HIS purposes are the main goal. That everything exists for His glory. And that it may seem cruel to allow the world to suffer in sin, disease and death. However, God doesn't find joy in these things. He is saddened just as much, if not more, by them than I am. See, He didn't want things to be like this. He designed them to be better. But we messed it up. And now the affects of sin an death are everywhere. But God also spoke to me saying even though it seems wrong to leave the world in suffering, he is actually being gracious? HOW, do you ask? Because He is giving people the chance to come to know him EVERY DAY! The longer he allows things to go on (no matter how crappy they are) HE allows His name to be proclaimed. And He is being gracious allowing people to not spend an eternity in hell. And that is a BIG DEAL! Therefore, we should be proclaiming His name. Allowing the world to not just continue in sin and suffering. But to hold out ultimate hope and joy. I don't know if that makes sense. But it was a big comfort to be reminded that while God is allowing some things, He has ulitmately conquered them and will come back again one day to show that so. But, he is also allowing suffering to continue so he can be gracious in other ways. Does that make sense? God articulated it better to my heart than I am articulating it now.

And so, I go on with hope. Realizing that my job is to proclaim Him to the world. To hold out his hope. And THIS is what I am going to do with the rest of my life. So forget the silly dreams I had when I was growing up that had nothing to do with God's purposes.

Thanksgiving!

Me and Jonathan made our first trip home since being married. I know, it's been too long. We've been married for almost six months now. It was a much needed trip. Though it went by WAY too quickly.

Some of the main events:

1. Molly got us all to play "Minute to Win it". It was pretty intense. Not to mention, hilarious. That kid cracks me up.

2. I ate more than I ever have in the span of just three days and completely reversed all the hard work I had accomplished on my diet. My own fault. But it's hard when you NEVER get your momma's cooking! Perhaps it was worth it!

3. We got out on Black Friday and I saved hundreds (I'm not exaggerating) on gifts. NICE! We weren't crazy enough to get out at the crack of dawn though. We were more sane and waited till nine. haha.

4. Me and Jonathan decorated three Christmas trees within a weeks time. We did one for us and with both of our families. I love Christmas so much though that this is GREAT to me!

5. My family does crafts every year and I made some ornaments for people for christmas as well as a gingerbread house. It was fun.

6. We made our annual black friday steak n shake dinner outing. LOVE that place!

7. It was my first thanksgiving with Jonathan's family and I spent a lot of time with my little nephew Jonah. He's such a cutie!

8. I played "name that show" with the Melin family. And of course, I lost miserably. They watched more tv than I did growing up, what can I say?

9. Added an hour and a half onto our trip time home. We left at seven and thought we would miss the big crowd. But we got stuck in traffic a lot. Every time we made it to see what the problem was it was just a car all the way on the shoulder with their emergency lights blinking. This same scenario happened three times. I was SO MAD! Ha.


It was easy to find things to be thankful for this year. Not that it is ever hard. I have a wonderful life. But, some years you just feel more thankful than others. I have been guilty in the past of not focusing on what I was thankful for. As I am sure anyone has been.

This year I am especially thankful for God's provision. When you first start out (as many of you probably know) in a marriage you don't have much income. We started out with very little since I was working at Chick Fil A and Jonathan was working at a golf course and Pizza Hut. Then I got a better job and it was taken away within six weeks. Then I spent 9 weeks looking for a new place of employment. So we have already had our share of scary times financially where we weren't sure what was going to happen next. And you know what? God never left us hungry or unable to pay our bills. We always had what we needed. Sometimes not much more than that. But, it was a big lesson in how God takes care of all of our needs. Even when we are freaking out thinking there is no way he can take care of them. He always does. And so I am incredibly thankful for God as my provider.

Secondly, I am incredibly thankful for my family. I am thankful for a husband who challenges me to be a better person most every day. I am thankful for the family I grew up in. I realize more every year how rare of a home I came from. And I couldn't be more thankful for amazing parents and siblings. I am truly blessed.

Thirdly, I am thankful for a God that brings peace and joy every day. Regardless of what is happening in my life God is steady and sure. Qualities I would love to possess and I know I can have since He is the one I am leaning on and He has those qualities. I realized a verse last night in a new way: "Be anxious about nothing, but in everything by prayer and petition present your requests to God. And the peace of God that passes all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus". This could be a paraphrase because it's coming straight from my brain. But, it just hit me: God promises to guard the very things that make us anxious and unsure: our hearts and minds. He simply asks that present our needs to him. That means He WANTS us to voice our needs. And secondly, that means when we voice them he won't just leave us out in the dark. He will help us. What a loving God we serve! So thankful for that kind of God. So personal. So different from the gods that other religions serve.

I have a lot to be thankful for. In the midst of hard times and good times.

It was wonderful being with my family and Jonathan's family this past week! SO glad this time I get to see them again in just three weeks time. Here are some pictures of this past week:

Christmas, Christmas, it is here! It only happens once a year!!!

Christmas time is ALMOST here. And because of my new hours at work (training is over and my hours are 1:30-10 PM) and our trip home for the holidays, we figured it was better to decorate for Christmas now rather than later. Or else it would be MUCH later. And we want to enjoy our Christmas decorations as long as possible. So, I convinced Jonathan to break his rule of "no christmas before thanksgiving" and we decided today would be our Christmas decorating day.

Over the last year I have accumulated things for Christmas. THanks to my mom's craftiness I had several ornaments and cute decorations to start with. Not to mention I love Christmas so much I started buying ornaments on sale last year so me and Jonathan would have some now. I got a couple of things at a dollar store here and town. So we were ready to go!

If anyone knows Jonathan, you know that he is a pretty laid back person. He just kind of does whatever. Since I am a girl, I am always having some type of craving, opinion, or idea of what I want to do. Jonathan rarely ever makes a request. In fact, I can't think of one request he has made in the last five months of our marriage. EXCEPT for today. He requested that we get a fraser fir Christmas tree. That is the kind his family always had and he said it smelled like Christmas to him. This narrowed down our options GREATLY as to where we could get our tree (most places aren't even open yet). However, I decided since he NEVER makes a request, I should give him this one :) ha.

We SEARCHED forever for a place to get a tree. We wanted to go to a farm. But the only ones that were open didn't have Fraser Firs yet. So we decided to settle for a lot. We looked one up and found one that was open. So we headed 40 minutes down the road. But when we got there the lot was empty. We were annoyed but nothing could break our christmas spirit. So we hopped back in the car. On our way down to the lot, we had seen a cute little Boy Scout sign for Christmas trees. I told Jonathan since he used to be a boy scout (and since I also turn down the boy scouts trying to sell me popcorn kernels every time we go to wal mart) that we should buy it from them. We pulled up to the church and there were no cute little boy scouts in their nerdy uniforms. haha. So we got BACK in the car and headed to Lowe's. Turns out, it was probably a good thing everything else was closed. Because my car isn't ideal for Christmas tree transport. We drove at a snails pace all the way home! But, we got our Christmas tree home finally. And, what is life without a good story to tell? Our first christmas celebration had it's rough patches when looking for the tree. Thank goodness nothing can bring me down when it's Christmas.

One thing today did: remind me, YET AGAIN, how different me and Jonathan are. It's a good thing though. We got our tree home and Jonathan spent an hour making sure it was dead center of the tree stand. haha. I couldn't have cared less. PUt it in crooked for all I care! Lol. Anyways, it was really funny watching him haul it up the stairs. WE broke some of our blinds by accident. But it gave me a good laugh. It took a while to decorate but everything looks great now that we are done! Jonathan also tweaked everything in the room until it was perfectly straight. ha. SO not only do we have Christmas decorations, but our Christmas decorations are symmetrical and straight.

I LOVE the smell of Christmas in the house. I can't feel like it's Christmas without being around a decorated tree every day. And it was fun to start our own traditions with our own ornaments and things. Here's to making things our own! I know turning the lights on will make waking up early a little easier in the morning since I can now sit in the living room and eat breakfast and enjoy the lights.

It was all in all a very good start to a VERY good week. In just two days time I will be headed to Chattanooga to see my family! I am READY to be home again! Couldn't be more excited!!!

Here are some pictures of our decorations:

To Shine Like the Stars in the Universe!

Our relationship started just like anyone else's does. With a conversation. It was a pretty normal conversation. Nothing elaborate happened. I commented on all of the pictures lining her cubicle of her two little dogs. One sat in a chair with his paw on the table with a freakishly human grin spreading across his face. Laying in front of him was a birthday cake with the number five on top. Another picture was of her dog in a cast. He was lying on his back and he didn't look happy. Clearly she loved her dogs. I watched everything she did. But I was told to. I was in training, afterall. I watched her share her snack drawer with practically everyone in the office. I watched as she dropped everything she was doing when someone asked her a question or asked for her help. Her words were sprinkled with profanity here and there as she got angry about something. But she was one of the nicest people I have ever met. She cared.

Then there was another girl that just sat a couple chairs away from her. Her bright shirt and spirit brightened up the drab office. She smiled. And she helped explain things to me. As we sat there she began discussing how she was anxious. I asked why. Her reply was that she wasn't sure. And that it happened often. She felt as if she were on the verge of a panic attack. She stopped to catch her breath for a minute and then continued on with her work. All through our time together though, she was very kind and helpful.

Still again there was a man sitting a bit away from her. He was very passionate about gay rights. He also began to talk about how he wasn't sure what it was, but there was just something rewarding about doing "right". He said it just makes life better. Hmm....and so it does, because that is exactly how we were created. This man was also very generous and caring.

Everyday I get in the car and drive to a normal american job. I sit in a cubicle next to all of these people. And, I am one of five christians in the entire building. I get the chance to have conversations with these people. They need Jesus. They are beautiful unique individuals. Some of them seem to already be voicing thoughts that could lead to a spiritual conversation. They seem to have questions and thoughts I have the answer to.

These co-workers amaze me with how much they care. It's actually embarassing to me. Because I have been in the Christian bubble my entire life. And they love me better than most christians I know love others. I am constantly being talked to. "Hi, Jessica. How are you doing? Do you think you're adjusting ok? Can I help you?" "Jessica, let me know if you need something. I will be here whenever you call on me."
This is the same office that is letting me off for thanksgiving and christmas when I have only been working there a week.
It's sad. The contrast. THe office I just came from and this one. The last office was a "christian office" and I felt so judged and mistreated. And here I am among people who don't know what love is truly all about, and I feel more loved and accepted. I see them giving more and loving better than christians are.

I am saddened by this fact. As christians we are to be recognized by our love. That's how God says we are recognized. We are to out shine in the love department.

So, I ask that you guys will join me in two things:

1. Praying that I will be COURAGEOUS and speak to these co-workers about Jesus. Because they really need Him. But not just that, pray that I will know when to talk about Jesus and when to just listen. I want these people to know I am there not just to bang them over their heads with a bible and tell them Jesus is the only way. I want them to feel Christ living through me. I want to be light in a place of darkness. And it's a struggle to know exactly how to do that.

Because:

FIrst of all, the VP of the company just bought a booth for a hefty price at a gay rights rally. And I know that I have to be careful what I say and how I say it. While all the time being bold and not giving the impression I am ok with all these things they do.

2. That as Christians we will be determined to love better. That we will step out and shine so bright in a dark world. We should be the generous ones. We should be the ones willing to help others. We should be selfless and put others before ourselves. The world needs to see that we are different. And if we are no better than anyone else...then what?

I ask that you join me in reaching others wherever you are: home, work, or on the mission field.

Let Him Catch You.

I watched his little legs as he climbed up the incline. To him, the incline looked more like a mountain. To me, being four feet taller than him, it seemed really small. But as he stepped onto the grass to climb up the steep hill he looked back at me with a mischievous grin on his face. The sparkle in his little blue eyes told it all. He was on an adventure. And he wasn't at all scared. When he made it to the top he turned to look at me. And with the same daring smile on his face and twinkle in his eye he ran down the hill as fast as his legs would carry him. He made it almost to the bottom and then tripped, but I reached out my arms to catch him and twirled him around. When I set him back down, he giggled once and then repeated the whole scene. Every time he repeated the scene he almost tripped and fell. ANd he would've been hurt had I not been there to catch him. We did this about twenty times before he got bored and moved onto throwing his toy car as far as his little arms would let him.

I have spent my last five weeks with an adorable two-year-old boy. Looking into these beautiful blue eyes the past five weeks has been wonderful. And they have reminded me of so many important things. I used to be that daring too when I was a child. I used to look at the world that way too. It was one big adventure and I wasn't scared. And that's EXACTLY what God calls us to do in following Him.

So where does that spirit disappear to? I understand so much when I spend time with children why God tells us we must come as a child. How many times has God asked me to climb a hill and I have been terrified. I was scared that if I tripped he wouldn't reach out and catch me. But he always, ALWAYS does. He is always there for me.

We are going through a series at church right now called " In Search of a King". It is all about the life of David. But it isn't your typical study. We opened with how God never intended for Israel to have a king to rule over them. But they looked at the neighboring countries and wanted to be like the rest of the world. So they pushed and pushed until God gave them what they wanted. Out of this they were taught the lesson that no one is perfect and only God can be the kind of King they were demanding.

This week we discussed how David was an ordinary person. It was God working through him that made him look extraordinary. The sermon was about how God called David to be king but then left him in the pasture. It was there God taught him humility, patience, trust, etc... See, God had to prepare David for something better. He had to prepare David to realize that this whole kingship was about God's glory and not about his own.

And this series has convicted me so much. God has orchestrated my life so beautifully (and painfully in some ways) lately to teach me so many lessons. And it's incredible how two things that are virtually unrelated (the sermon series and my babysitting) can be weaved together so well to teach me all the lessons God wants me to learn. At first it seemed so odd to me, but now it makes perfect sense.

Being with this child has taught me how life is an adventure. When we become a Christian we die to ourself and THANK GOD that He calls us to something unpredictable and BIG. It's beyond our human understanding. Sometimes what God does in our lives makes no sense. And it drives me mad sometimes. But then I realize that God wouldn't be God if I could explain everything about Him. If He were just like me, then why would I want to follow Him? Just look around you. I mean, the things I see God calling people to are really crazy sometimes. But, that's the point. God demands faith on our part. And when we step out and do something adventurous for His glory and not our own, something amazing always comes out of it!

Not only that, but God has completely shown me my lack of trust in him. He asked me to trust Him to catch me. And I didn't. I wanted to take care of myself. And I realize God has had me in this time in my life to remind me of some important things. I needed to prioritize differently. I needed to be reminded of the important things in life. I needed to trust Him. I needed to realize that He could see far more than I could. I am just like Israel demanding God give me a King when it is HIM he wants to give me.

And, so now as God has provided me this new job, I still want to remember the lessons he has burned into my heart. I want to climb up the hill and run back down as fast as I can, because I know He will catch me. But this time, I want to do things differently. I want to rely on God. This is God's adventure that He wants to work out through me. I just simply must step out in obedience.

ANd it really is silly now that I have gotten to the end that I never trusted Him in the first place. He has blown my mind with providing this amazing job. It's better than the last one. My God is so good.

May we live our Christian life like a child, with adventure twinkling in our eyes and a great smile on our face. Because we KNOW God is about to do something amazing. Whatever it is. Even if it doesn't make sense. He is always waiting to blow our minds. Because that is just who He is!

When God Breaks You.

Paul says in Philippians 4:11: "for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am in". Ok, so he had to LEARN to be content.

It took effort. It didn't come naturally. It was a process.

I feel like maybe that's the same process God has me in right now? I'm not really sure. But I definitely feel like me and God have wrestled a lot lately. With hopes/dream. WIth ideas/concepts. I don't think it's wrong to have times where you do this. But it definitely makes me feel like I am a horrible Christian.

Ever since I lost my job over a month ago I have struggled. I have struggled to find out the answer to all the "why" questions. But they don't come. And, I just pray that hopefully down the road, Soon, God will answer those questions for me.

But more importantly I pray that even if he does not, I still trust Him and lean on Him.

I find that the best thing to do when things don't make sense is to remind myself of truth. Otherwise, how can I possibly survive all of this?

Money is probably the BIGGEST area where I struggle to let go. It causes me the most worry. The most panic. The most anxiety. I hate how I have felt the longer I have gone without getting pay checks.

But God has taught me some important lessons still:

1. Humility. I think that's the biggest one. It has humbled me to remember that I rely on God for everything. That everything I have is His and not my own. Not to mention I have had to do things that I would rather not do in the process. That have cost me a lot of my pride. And, it has been pretty painful.

2. Trust. Every morning I get up and read my Bible. And my trust is renewed. Just being reminded of God's promises and truths. But then I get to the middle of the day and this is shattered. Completely. And I am thankful his mercy is new every morning to meet me in my struggle to trust my God who I know has already proven himself. It's my issue. I'm the one who struggles with doubt when I shouldn't.

3. He is the one who gets the justice on my behalf. I think over my last job. And I get bitter at the way the situation was handled. I get angry when I think of all the people still working there. And how I am sitting here without a job still while their lives get to go on. How their choice only affected them for maybe a day. And their choice has affected me every day for over a month now. I get angry and bitter. And I want revenge. I want to tell them what they did to me. I want to make it right. I want to make them feel guilty. But God has reminded me every time I feel that way that HE is the one that gets Justice. He will be the one who judges those who have wronged me. It's his place to make it right. It's my place to represent Him in all I do. And I wouldn't be representing Him if I "got even" with someone.

4. Contentment. Just like the verse above states. God is teaching me, just like he taught Paul how to be content in all circumstances. And He is reminding me of how much He has richly blessed my life. And I really have no right to be angry when He has been so gracious and loving. I should hold onto joy.

The Pain I have felt lately is oddly familiar. It's the pain of being broken, shattered and put back together to look more like Christ. It's the same pain I felt when I first went off to college. When my world was totally different and I was learning to live with others in a real way. God showed me all the ugly parts of myself that needed to change. And it was HARD to face. It was hard to swallow. And I feel the same way now as I did then.

And so I know God has used this immense pain lately to show me important things about myself. The pain is still fresh. But I know that as the wound heals it will make me into a better person in Christ. And that's what I am praying for. That in the end I will stand stronger for Christ than I did before this all happened. That I will better represent my Lord and Savior. That He will be glorified and I will be put back together as more like my Lord than I was before this happened.

So to close all of this I want to share a story that I read a few days ago. And it really touched my heart. I was given a devotion book called "Voices of the Faithful" and it is by Beth Moore. It's a compilation of letters from missionaries. They talk about their struggles on the field and how God showed his faithfulness to them. They are encouraging. And I find I can relate to them well. Not to mention, they remind me to be thinking about and praying for those on the field daily.

This story is an insert from that book and it really broke me:

HIS PRESENCE THROUGH PAIN

"When I am weak, then I am strong" 2 Corinthians 12:10b

Midnight approached as I waited beside the hospital bed of my 17-year-old-daughter. As Hilary lay motionless, images appeared of an overturned motor scooter, her unconscious body, a missionary friend searching for a pulse amid pools of blood.

Fortunately, HIlary couldn't remember the accident as she lay immobilized in cervical spine traction. The night before, she'd slept soundly from the exhaustion of the four-hour ambulance ride. Tonight, however, she remained awake from the excruciating pain.

Waiting for the pain medication, I stroked her hair and stared at the contraption immobilizing her upper body. Aptly named Gardner-Wells tongs, it was fixed against her skull by two metal pins inserted through her clean-shaven temples. The pins connected to a horseshoe-shaped bar arching over the top of her head. A 15-pound weight hung from the crown of the device, pulling against her skull and straightening her vertebrate.

"I can't do this, Mom", she whispered weakly. "Please take it off." We cried together, but I knew that removing the traction would not bring lasting relief. What she needed was strength to endure.

As we prayed, God did not bring Hilary immediate freedom from pain. Instead, the pain became the path by which He drew near. Our faith was enlarged, knowing that His presence is available each day. His power transforms us, resulting in greater change than merely removing unpleasant circumstances. Faith grows as we draw near to Him. Sometimes, only tears can cleanse our eyes enough for us to notice.

-K.P., East Asia

Father, sometimes I don't understand why you allow pain in the lives of your children, but I trust you to enlarge my faith and to transform me with your power and comfort. Give me the strength to notice your purpose in unpleasant circumstances.Amen.

The First Sign of Fall....

Growing up, my family had a lot of traditions. One of my favorite was, every Christmas we would go to a Christmas tree farm to pick out a Christmas tree and bring it home. We have had many interesting experiences doing that. My family also carved a pumpkin every year.

This year, me and Jonathan decided to combine the two traditions. For the past three years me and Jonathan have always carved a pumpkin together. We usually just get the pumpkin at Wal-Mart or Target (which apparently, I found out, jack their prices up). This year we decided to go to a pumpkin patch to get our pumpkin. It is cheaper and more festive. And we looked through hundreds of pumpkins to settle on the perfect one. haha.


Here is the sequence of our pumpkins from years past:

Year # 1: Jonathan insisted that he carve half the face of the pumpkin and I finish it without knowing what the other side looked like. Let me just say, that was one messed up looking pumpkin. Too bad I don't have pictures of this one.

Year # 2: I got the most awesome "turn your pumpkin into mr. potato head" kit at Wal-Mart. It looks like it didn't take any time. But trust me, it's not easy to push flimsy plastic into the side of a hard pumpkin. We didn't think to poke holes into it beforehand until half way through the process. Here is the evidence of that year:




Year # 3: We decided to carve a pumpkin for one another and then switch. I carved Jonathan this awesome owl pumpkin. He carved me a pumpkin with the cutest little face ever. Take a look:





Year # 4 (a.ka. THIS year, and our first year of marriage): We decided to commemorate the year by making our pumpkin into the Eiffel Tower since we went to France for our honey moon. Here are pictures of the pumpkin patch, us carving, and the finished product:











Now compare it to the real thing:



I think we did good :) haha.

Home Sweet Home

So, I am pretty sure I promised everyone pictures of my apartment. In fact, I said I would upload a video. I did video tape the apartment, however, I can't get it to upload to blogger. I guess everyone will have to settle for pictures (which don't really give the full idea). But it has taken a while to get everything settled and finished. But we have everything put together for the most part.

Here are the pictures! Enjoy!

Opposites Attract

Everyone has heard the phrase "Opposites Attract". I may not have really believed it until I fell in love with Jonathan. We are almost as opposite as two people get. Before we got married I noticed it. But I notice it even more now that we are married.

Since Jonathan is pursuing a Linguisitcs Degree at Southeastern (he is wanting to do Bible translation in the future) it has kind of changed our atmosphere around the house. Here are just a couple of examples:

1. One morning recently I was standing in the bathroom brushing my teeth. It was first thing in the morning. My brain doesn't operate then. Nor do I like to communicate with others. Jonathan comes in with a smile on his face. As if he has just discovered something amazing. He starts asking, "Have you ever thought about the letter 'C' before? We don't really need it. It makes the same sound as the letter 'K' and the letter 'S' but it doesn't make it's own sound. It's useless." Of course I couldn't respond because I was brushing my teeth. But I couldn't really come up with a response anyways. Because my brain doesn't even operate like this. Pondering things like the sounds that letters make. It really never comes into play in my daily routine.

2. This scenario has happened multiple times lately where I am standing in another room. I can hear Jonathan murmuring to himself. The first time this happened I was a little concerned, "Has my husband starting talking to himself?" That's never a good sign. So I walk into the other room, "What are you doing?" I ask. He replies, "I'm practicing the phonetic alphabet for class". Ok then, I now have a husband who murmurs to himself. haha.

3. Yesterday we are sitting on the couch. I tell Jonathan that I like the new Pepsi Max because it actually tastes more like the real product than most diet drinks. Jonathan's response? "Have you ever thought about why Coke is more popular world wide than Pepsi?" "Not really" is my response. He says,"Well, because not many other languages have that 'P' 'S' sound. It's hard for them to make. But coke is easier for everyone to say. Because most every language has that sound".

And these, are just a couple from a long list of examples I could give. These examples not only show the kinds of conversations we will have for the next 70 years. But they also show just how different we are.

Since I met Jonathan I have definitely been able to see clearly that God is calling him to bible translation. He is amazing at picking up other languages, studying the bible, etc... All the things it takes to be geared towards bible translation, Jonathan possesses those traits. I can even see this in the things that fascinate him. Which, by the way, are most of the time opposite of the things that fascinate me. He has always been interested in things that I look at and go,"What in the world?". But then I think again and I am like,"That's exactly why he is going to be good at translating the Bible".

This comes into play in more than just our conversations. For instance, when we were on our honeymoon in Europe, the kinds of things he cared about were NOT the same thing as me. He was always concerned with taking a picture of something and it being in the EXACT middle of the picture. He also wanted me to see things for the first time looking at it dead center. I could've cared less if I was looking at something centered or uncentered. He cared about how a building was designed. I just liked it cause it was pretty. He wanted to climb every building in the city to see the different "views" of the city. Then he wanted to decide which one was best. I thought if you'd seen one view you'd pretty much seen 'em all. haha.

So, how do we get by when everything I talk about doesn't interest him and vice versa? I gotta be honest. At times I have no clue how our relationship works out.

But, then I am reminded of all the reasons he completes me and makes me more balanced of a person. Here are just a few examples:

1. Jonathan rarely gets stressed out. Even when big things happen in life. Somehow he remains pretty unphased. Me, on the other hand, I kind of stress out and worry too much. ANd that really isn't on his radar screen.

So we balance one another out. At times he should be a little more concerned about a situation than he is. And I remind him of that. And at other times I just simply need to calm down. And he reminds me of that.

2. Jonathan is (overall) an insensitive person. And I am incredibly sensitive.

It's good that when we are faced with a conversation where someone needs a person to empathize, I can step up in his place and be sympathetic. Because that usually isn't an easy thing for him to do. And, honestly, sometimes I can be overly sensitive. And I need him to remind me that I'm acting like an emotional basket case.

3. Jonathan likes to just go for things. I like to sit around and analyze them forever and finally make a decision.

We both need one another. Sometimes I need to be reminded that I have thought it through pretty thoroughly and I need to act on the wisest option. Sometimes he needs to be reminded to sit back and think about a situation more.

4. Jonathan is pretty even kill. I am moody.

5. Jonathan is task oriented. I am more relational.

I suppose this is really a guy/girl thing. But, I think it's good that we can balance one another out in this way. We are both going to need each other when it comes to ministry in this way. Both are very important to remember.

It's funny to look at these differences (and I could've listed more). But these examples always remind me of why it's good that we have one another. Opposites really do attract. And most of the time it's a really good thing. I know it is for us.

In Comes Fall...

The past couple of days have been absolutely beautiful. The skies have been a perfect blue with no clouds in sight. I have wanted to go mad at times stuck inside filling out application after application. It's strange how just getting outside and taking a walk can just make me feel SO much better! Nature can do that for you! And lately, not only has it been so magnificently blue outside, but it has also felt like fall. And I LOVE it. It's weird how a slight breeze in the air and the way the sky looks can make you realize fall is here. And we haven't even reached the most amazing parts of fall yet.

Here are my most favorite things that, in my world, make fall so wonderful:

1. Apple Cider



2: Corn Mazes



3. Jumping in leaves (one of my favorite memories from childhood).



4: Chili. YUM.



5: Carving pumpkins!!!



6: Pumpkin Bread. Haven't tried it? YOU MUST!



7: Hay Rides.



8:Corn Bread.



9: Adorable babies in cute little costumes.



10: Bonfires (with Smores of course)



11. The leaves changing into brilliant colors.






So go on out there and enjoy yourself some fall!!! It's got so many great things coming!