Here I Am To "Worship"

This weekend went by way too fast. But, what weekend doesn't do that around here? I managed to get nothing done. haha. I managed to recruit Sam, Ashley and MEredith to work out with me. But, SAm is currently sick with a 102 temperature that hasn't gone away for about four days now. So, on Friday me, Meredith and Ashley went to the YMCA and worked out for a while. Then we went and ate dinner at Taco Bell. haha. RIGHT. We decided to come back and watch Father of the Bride. Which, in my opinion is a classic. After that me and MEredith went over to Jackie's house and caught up on some LOST since it is coming back this thursday with all new episodes!!! YAY! Saturday was just me sitting around the house for the most part.

yesterday was really good. I have to preface all of this with the fact that I am frustrated with most baptist churches in America. I realize when I do this most people will jump to the conclusion that I am going off the deep end and I am going to decide to join another denomination. Can I go ahead and clear that up now? I'm not going to! I'm still a southern baptist. Even though most southern baptist churches make me want to throw up with the reputation they are giving christianity. I agree with their doctrinal statement and their beliefs. But, not with the way most of the carry out church or the way the preachers preach. However,I realize there is a lot of the Word being watered down in every denomination these days. Not just the southern baptist. I went to church in Toccoa for a LONG time. And, I went and visited practically every Southern Baptist church here. I finally settled down at one and got involved with the ministry there. I ended up teaching the five year olds choir. It was nice being so involved in a church. But, the preaching was lacking, BIG TIME! The last thing going on there about the time I left was they were doing a series on Myspace. THey were relating the Bible to myspace. That kind of sent me over the top and sent me out of Toccoa to find a church. I couldn't sit through one more sermon entitled "Googling God" for the sake of making people want to be entertained. Everything is about what is entertaining. What will draw people in. I got kind of sick of it.

Anyways...I do have somewhere I am going with this. I was really missing my church back home. Because I feel like it was never so cheesy like all of the ones down here. Jonathan was invited by a fellow student to attend Covenant Presbyterian Church in Buford. He went and kept telling me about it. I initially just visited because I was like,"What has he gotten himself into?" So, I went to check it out. And, for once I felt like I was really listening to he WORD being preached. Not just milk or trying to give people what is comfortable for them to hear. But, REAL meat. I was so excited. It made me want to go back. But, I have to be honest, I didn't really know what the Presbyterians believed. And, this semester the pastor invited us to sit in on a new member's class they teach there every sunday to just get an idea of what they believe. I am not a member there. But, i want to know what they beieve. So far I agree with most everything they have said and I really appreciate a church like this one. It is so refreshing. This past Sunday we talked about worship.

I was really convicted about what we have made worship out to be so often. I was really struggling with this subject lately anways because of Toccoa. I remember last semester they opened a prayer room on campus and a student got up there and said,"This room isn't just for praying. It is about worshipping God. If you want to worship God through painting or singing, go ahead. However you want to worship God is welcomed in that room". I think Meredith jokingly made a comment like,"If I want to go draw a hand turkey on the wall in the name of Jesus is that worship?" I agree!
I am not so sure it is. It was a question I was wrestling with for a while now: what does true worship look like? Because as christians we have made it to look however we want. It can mean a skit, a dance, a raise of the hands, etc. I know you can take all of this to extremes. But, it was nice to hear the pastor talk about how God gives us a standard for what worship is in the scripture. We can't just come up with whatever we want in life and call it worship. I realize we can do everything to the glory of God. And maybe drawing a hand turkey on the wall could be pleasing to God when done in the right attitude. But, is it worship? There is a difference I believe. When we are in the context of a church service, is there a specific way worship is to be played out? I believe so! And, I believe we a lot of times make everything about an emotional high. If we "feel" close to God then we worshipped. But, I don't think this is the right way to worship Christ. And, I feel christians make it about things that have nothing to do with worshipping God so often.

I guess it is just something I am thinking about lately. And, It was so refreshing to hear the pastor talk about how there are preachers out there who are preaching on sunday mornings for 10 minutes and that they aren't getting into the bible at all, but they are just sharing inspirtation by way of experiences from their own lives. This is not worship. We are slowly getting so far away from what it really is and was supposed to be. Pastor Strevel gave the example of the president. If we are invited to meet the president there are certain codes of conduct we are to adhere to. We can't just go up and approach the president however we decide to. We can't run up and give him a give or run up and jump on him. This will get us shot. Because he is the president we must wait for him to come to us and give the first gesture. If he sticks out his hand to shake your hand THEN you can shake it. It is all about rank. He is superior to us so, we must follow his rules. It is the same with God. Tehre is a system of hierarchy. We can't just approach him however we want. He gives us specific instructions. he did this with the Israelites. He did it all throughout the Bible. And, when people didn't follow through he usually killed them on the spot. We have lost every sense of God's holiness. And, we are called to worship Him how he says we are supposed to do it. We can't just run naked screaming his name in circles and call it worship.

Sorry...I am really just in deep thought about this lately. I thought it was a good subject yesterday. ANd everyone has stopped reading by now! Lol. Anyways...Saturday everyone in my trailer is headed to Ikea together! That will be a LOT of fun! I am looking forward to this week even though mjy classes are boring me to DEATH!!! Seriously!!! I hate my classes, guys! Lol. But, I will make it through with the help of working out and hanging out with friends!

Tom's Shoes

Anyone out there who knows me. Knows I love shoes. And, you should also know I take a great interest in missions.

A couple months ago while we were in Athens, stuck at the library all day for Ethnography. I complimented a fellow classmate, Hannah Ito on her shoes. I asked where she got them. She told me they were Tom shoes. And that you can buy them online. And, for each pair you buy they also donate a pair to a child without shoes. At the time she bought hers their campaign was for South AFrica. So, when she bought a pair of shoes she was also buying a pair for kids in South Africa. The shoes are a little bit more expensive than shoes you would get at say, Payless. But, they are no more expensive than buying some shoes from a regular shoe store. And, they are more pricy because you are not only paying for your own shoes, but also for the shoes of a child who doesn't have any. They carry the CUTEST shoes EVER!!! Shannon Crawford had some on today. And, I asked her where she got hers because I thought they were adorable. And she told me about it again. She actually gave me the address to it:

www.tomsshoes.com

I wanna buy a pair now. If I do, they will go to a child in Argentina! AWESOME! The shoes really are cute. You should go check them out.

On a much different note. I have to say I am really saddened by the death of Heath Ledger. And, I want everyone to know it isn't because I had a school girl crush on him. I am just saddened hearing the story. Apparently he had been filming the movie The Dark Knight. It was a Batman film in which he played the Joker. He claimed it was a rather demonic role. And, in order to get "In character" he locked himself in a hotel room for a month trying to relate to the part and get the posture and voice right for the part. He kept a journal as if he were the Joker. And, he found the role disturbing after getting into it. I could see why! But, I know that seems psycho. And it really kind of is, no wonder he was having issues with that. But, at the same time. He was having a hard time sleeping because he was so terrified by the role he had to play in that movie. Though he was done filming it, he apparently had insomnia because of it. He lived in fear of the part he was playing because it was so messed up. I guess to sum it up, I wish he weren't dead. I wish I could board a plane and go talk to him. I wish I could tell him about Jesus and how he doesn't have to be scared.I would tell him more than that of course. But, it saddens me to see these movies stars like Britney Spears and Heath Ledger go off the deep end. You know, I feel bad for them. THey are lost. They need Jesus. And, you can't really judge the lost, can you? They don't know any better. Maybe they do...I mean, they probaly do to some extent. But, they don't have a reason to be different. IT just makes me sad for them.

If I were cool enough I would maybe want to be a missionary to Hollywood. To all those stars. Their lives seem to be some of the most screwed up lives on the planet.

Anyways...Kue See is coming over sometime soon to teach me and PJ the Korean dance to the most popular song in South KOrea. It really makes me laugh!

I am looking forward to certain things this semester. But, I am not looking forward to all the work and some of the subjects I am taking! Lol.

In this world there's a whole lot of trouble, baby
In this world there's a whole lot of pain
In this world there's a whole lot of trouble
But a whole lot of ground to gain

Why take when you could be giving?
Why watch as the world goes by?
It's a long enough life to be living
Why walk when you can fly?

In this world there's a whole lot of sorrow
In this world there's a whole lot of shame
In this world there's a whole lot of sorrow
But a whole lot of ground to gain

When you spend your whole life wishing
Watching and wondering why
It's a hard enough life to be living
Why walk when you can fly?

In this world there's a whole lot of golden
In this world there's a whole lot of plain
In this world you've a soul for a compass
And a heart for a pair of wings

There's a star on the far horizon
Rising bright in an azure sky
But with the rest of the time you've been given
Why walk when you can fly
High
High

Back In The Saddle Again.

I got back to school safely on Monday night. It took about two hours for me to unpack everything and get it put away. I bought my books. And I have officially gone to all of my classes at least once. I have to say though, it is really boring the first day because all we do is go over the Syllabus.

My schedule is like this:

Tuesday and Thursday: 8:30 Power Encounter
Monday, Wednesday and Friday: 9:00 Religious Belief Systems, 11:00 Intro. To Counseling, 1:00 Cross Cultural Communication.

I only have 13.5 hours. I was a little bummed about that seeing as how that is all that will work out for now. That means that I will have to cram more in next semester. But, I guess life happens like that sometimes. And, It kind of works out. Because one of my professors prefaced the syllabus with, "I have loaded you guys down with reading. However, I checked the guidelines and it is acceptable for a 300 level course." HAHA. In one class I have 600 pages and three books to read and I also have to write a 10 page paper. In another class I have a journal, ten page paper, reading reports for each section of the book I read and two books to read. The other two courses aren't as much work. But, I will still have to pull my weight. It seems to me like they will all take a lot of time to do all the reading.

I am really looking forward to Cross Cultural Communication though. I love Mrs.Griffin! She makes everything so fun. But, apart from that I think it will just be a really interesting subject.

Religious Belief Systems will probably be eye opening. But, I think it will be kind of a repeat of Cultural Antropology with more of a focus in religion.

Power Encounter is all about spiritual warfare and stuff. It is a topic I have really not discussed much. And, I am looking forward to hearing more and studying more about it. I think it is probably a bigger deal going overseas than we realize. It will be eye opening.

I am in for a good semester I think! Sam and Amber have a lighter work schedule. It is their last semester so I know it will be good to actually get to hang out with them! I think next weekend my whole house is going to take a trip to Ikea. They all want new bedspreads. haha. I am good with the one I have but I think it will be really fun to go down there with everyone! Sam, Ashley and I have started working out at the YMCA together on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Meredith is going to try it out too. So, we could have a whole group support system going on! Lol.

Tonight Me, Sam and MEredith are going over to Jessie Ladwig's apartment to see American Idol and the new reality tv series where they hook you up to a lie detector test. It is kind of goofing. But, I am sure we will have fun making fun of it and laughing together. I went over to Jessie's last night and got to watch American Idol! I was glad she called cause I was wanting to finish watching the tryouts for the show! They make me laugh!!! Ashley Spaulding came over last night too! That was nice! I am glad to see everyone again!! Even though I miss my family a lot! And I miss my newly decorated room back home!

I think everyday I wake up and my cold is getting worse. Today it is all in my chest it feels like. It hurts to breathe. But, I am sure it will go away soon!

Oh...I forgot to mention like three of my classes are with my housemates! That is good for me! I love hanging out with the girls in my house! They are so amazing!!!

Well, I guess that is all for now. I don't really have much else to say!

The Transportation System of the Philippines.

I just realized some of my blog is missing. I apologize. I meant to say that I got an email address from my Aunt Grace. Her friend did the same thing I am going to do this summmer. She went with the IMB to the southern Philippines and worked with the NEhemiah Teams. So, she knows a lot about it. I am conversing with her on it. It is nice to have someone that can clue me in on what to expect. she sent me a lot of pictures and those are what I shared with you above.

Those middle two are of the transportation I will be using. HA! I was thinking to myself "riding on top of a bus is scary enough in a foreign country where they have no speed limit or laws, really" but, "I hope I don't ever have to ride on the side of a motorcycle like that last picture shows". It will be interesting if I do to say the least! But, I thought the other pictures were good. It has one of the houses in the area where I will be working and a picture of the ocean. Which is right there where I am at!

Anyways...I wanted to share because I found them interesting. It is good to have someone to talk to who has been there. She said I will most likely grow a tremendous amount spiritually. She said she did. They prepare devotions for me daily and she said they were so good! That is exciting.

I have a busy day ahead of me. And tomorrow my sister and Andrew are coming up to celebrate my birthday! I'm excited!

You Bring Life Into My Bones, A Spring Into My Step

It is officially my last day of being 20. Only, I am sure I will get tomorrow and feel the exact same as I do today!! Time at home is getting to a close. And, it is starting to sink in. I feel like I have been home for a while. And, It has been nice. I am not ready to go back and tackle another semester. But, I guess if it were up to me I never would be!

EVeryone at church officially thinks I have dropped out of college because most everyone has gone back and I am still sitting in the pew on sundays. haha. Oh well.

It is SNOWING today. I love snow. I feel like a little kid when it snows cause I go around with a smile on my face. It just makes me happy. It's weird because exactly five years ago I was about to turn 16 and my mom was throwing a dinner for me with ladies from the church that were going to give me advice for the years to come. And,I got my purity ring that day. I remember it snowing that day just like it is today. I was so disappointed though because it never snowed but it did on the very day I had something special. I was afraid no one would get out to come. But, me and my mom drove all the way to Logans by the mall and some people did show up. It was a good dinner. I don't remember why I thought of that. Except that driving tonight reminded me that it was exactly five years ago when that happened. ANd, I remember thinking that at least it was fitting: snow is white and pure and it is how God made us: He washed us and made us as white as snow. And, I remember thinking cheesy thoughts about how I was getting my purity ring and talking about purity and the ground was covered in pure white snow. Yeah, I'm cheesy!

IT is really pretty outside! It is so cold. I love when it is cold out and I can bundle up inside.

Tonight I was riding home from church and heard this Watermark Song. Man, it is so fitting for this time in my life. Here are the lyrics:

You bring life to my bones
And a spring to my step
And a heart that knows what it means
To wait before You
Laughter into my house
And a time to sing and shout
And a heart that knows what it means
To really trust You...
And when the shadow of sorrow comes
I will fall on the only One I know
Is the Rock that won't be shaken...

Chorus
'Cause it is good for me
To lay it down at Your feet
It is good for me to lay the good and bad
In Your hand, my God...
It is good for me
To lay it down at Your feet
It is good for me

You are the constant One
When my life is overwhelmed
And You stay the same when all around is changing
And, oh, how good it is, yeah
Just to know the life You give
And my song shall ever be
That my god is faithful...
And when the shadow of sorrow comes
I will fall on the only One I know
Is the Rock that won't be shaken...

And when I delight myself in You
You give me the desires of my heart,
When I confess that You know best
Peace flows like a river and joy comes in the morning...

Redecorating My Life

Well, there really isn't much to say. I am about to start my last week at home. It has gone by way too fast. I am not really ready for work again. Especially since I have been so sick lately. Hopefully it will get better REAL soon!

Today me and my mom are going to start painting my room. I am really excited! I like how it has turned out. I think I will like it even more when it is all finished and completely decorated. My room really did need a transformation! And, this way, my mom can redecorate it more easily if it ever needs another one. I have never had so much brown in all my life. I usually go for something like pink, yellow, blue, something that is bright. I never have really used neutral colors!

Next week is already planned out pretty much for me. SO, I am thinking that will make it go by even quicker :( But, I am looking forward to the things I have planned at the same time. haha. It will be a good week.

I am starting my study on James on Monday. I am wrapping up Ephesians this weekend. It is kind of weird to be done with something you have been a part of for so long. And looking back on how much God brought that book into my life while I was studying it kind of amazes me! I still have so much to learn about God's word. I think this is one good way to do it. Because if you take so long studying a book like that you actually remember what it is about, who wrote it, why they wrote it, etc. And, I wish I knew that about every book of the Bible.I want to start memorizing Ephesians. It would be really cool if I memorized the whole thing! After that, which will probably be a while, I can tackle James. I already have the fourth chapter of James memorized. So, I would have a tiny head start. haha. Anyways...I won't bore you all with the minor details of my life!

A True Friend

So, the break is winding down. I really only have a little less than two weeks left. That thought makes me sad. I am not ready to go back. I get used to something and it is hard for me to change agian. And that is the basis of a college students life: change. My life has brought lots of change these past few years. And it has brought a lot of growth.

With this new year there are lots of things I am scared of. Lots of things I know will stretch me and lots of things to look forward to. I have such a hard time leaving things where they belong sometimes. It is hard for me to leave my family especially. Even when I know I have to go.

I am going to be starting the book of James this next semester and studying it. It has always been a favorite of mine and lately I really feel like that is what God wants me to dive into next. IT is always an exciting thought to know God is not through with me yet and He has places to take me and things to show me.

My week has been busy but it has been good! We went to Ikea on Saturday as a family. That was fun. It would have been more fun but I was sick and throwing up! Lol. We are redecorating and furnishing the new house. I really like the new house! And, my mom is really a good decorator so she has it looking really nice! Something was broken though so me and my mom ended up going back on Monday. It was really nice to spend some time with her! We havne't really spent time like that together in a while!It was fun. ANd I was feeling a little bit better than before. So, we got to look more cause there were less people. I found lots of cute things to decorate my room with. I was going for a more mature look but one that was still kind of fun. I picked the colors brown and orange. That is really different for me! I hate orange. But, it looks nice for some reason in the room.

Me and my mom are going to paint the room next week and put up the curtains. It is starting to feel more homey. Before I just felt like I was sitting in an empty room by myself. It should look cute! Too bad by the time we get it done I won't be here to enjoy it much :(

I did get to spend the past two days with two of my favorite people: Saide Claire and Tina! I really miss Tina's friendship. I know she is always there for me. But, it isn' the same when I am far away. I love just hanging out with them. We haven't had a serious discussion about what is going on in our lives in a LONG time! I got to go with Tina to Kindermusik and hang out with Sadie. IT was a lot of fun!!! I really enjoyed it. Sometimes hanging out with her I am reminded of what a true friend looks like. And how I am lacking in quality friendships at Toccoa. She really is a true friend! And, I really did love hanging out with her and Sadie for a while. Sadie is getting so big! She cracks me up. I have to learn not to laugh at her when she does something she shouldn't. Because, quite honestly, it is kind of funny sometimes just because she is hilarious!

Anyways... I hoping that the rest of my break I just get to sit back and enjoy myself. I think I will just relax and enjoy the rest of the time I have. My birthday is next week and I will turn 21. So, that will be good!

INVADE

So, New Year's Eve was interesting. I went to the peach drop in Atlanta. And, I have to say it was not an amazing time. You know when an idea seems so amazing in your head but when you live it out you wonder why you built it up so much? Well, that was the peach drop in a nut shell.There were way too man drunk people. WAy too many gangsters and way too much CRAP around me. And I was reminded why I don't like things like that. Plus, I was glad to report that I have absolutely NO desire whatsoever to join the party scene. I don't want to ever drink. I don't want to ever smoke. It's gross. It's not smart. And, people act like idiots when they do that kind of thing.

It was a once in a lifetime deal. Next year I will stick to watching things on my television. lol.

When I got back my family went out to eat at PF Changs. It was REALLY GOOD! YUM!

Today I got the chance to hang out with Sadie Claire. I took Molly with me!It was fun! I haven't seen her in so long. I miss her and Tina and Casey. They are such a cute little family! Sadie Claire is getting so big now. She can put these big sentences together that no two year old should know how to say. I spent about two hours over there and then got to eat lunch with Casey, Tina and Sadie at Logan's Roadhouse. It was a good time! I also got my haircut. I spent a lot of the afternoon ironing and jumping on the trampoline with Molly!

It was a good day! I am glad to see friends. I am not ready to go back to school yet. Good thing I still have some time. But, I know I will get to the end of the next couple weeks and wish I had even more! I miss my friends here. And I miss my family! It seems crazy that I only have a year and a half left of college. It seems like yesterday I went to college!

I was running last night. And I was listening to Watermark. I love them. Their lyrics I find are so refreshing. And they have so much meat to them. They aren't the fluffy christian band stuff. I really appreciate them. I have some of the most worshipful times listening and singing along to their music. I was listening to them while I ran last night. And lately I have been realizing I need to realize more of the power of God in my life. When I was saved Christ gave me His strength. He gave me everything I need to live out the Christian life. yet so often I fail Him. So often I am weak. So often I let Satan have a foothold in my life. I live in fear, doubt, and I let myself be defeated. But that isn't how God wants it. I am studying Ephesians 6 right now about standing up against the devil and his schemes. About not letting him win. About have the victory in Christ. It requires effort on my part. And, I want to do better at that. Because this past year I failed so miserably. I believe I can do that! God has given me more victory lately than before. And I believe it is because I am trying harder. He can't do it all.I mean, he could, because He is God. But, he won't. Because He calls us to do things as Christians. I have been fighting without some of my battle gear on. And no soldier who took fighting seriously would fight without all their gear. Anyways...this song really just touched my heart last night. Maybe the words will touch yours:

Wonderful Savior
My heart belongs to Thee
I will remember always the blood You shed for me
Wonderful Savior
My heart will know Your worth
So I will embrace You always as I walk this earth

Chorus:
Be blessed, be loved, be lifted high
Be treasured here
Be glorified
I owe my life to You my Lord
Here I am....

Beautiful Jesus
How may I bless Your heart?
Knees to the earth I bow down to everything You are
Beautiful Jesus
You are my only worth
So let me embrace You always as I walk this earth



I love this one too:

Lord you are my light and my salvation
Whom shall I fear if you are near
Lord you are my peace when there is war all around me
And even here inside me I will have no fear

Oh Lord you're my protection from my enemies
You set me high upon a rock and You defend my soul
And when their ways advance against me
I am confident that they cannot make me less, for you have made me whole
O Lord, you are my stronghold
You are my stronghold

Lord you are my strength so let my head be lifted up
That I may glory in the ways you've overcome
Lord you are my home because you've created in me,
a heart that lives the victory that you've already won

(x2)
Oh Lord you're my protection from my enemies
You set me high upon a rock and You defend my soul
And when their ways advance against me
I am confident that they cannot make me less, for you have made me whole
O Lord, you are my stronghold
You are my stronghold