What do I Know of Holy?

Have you ever met someone who just made you realize how much YOU need Jesus? What I mean is, someone who reminds you that without Christ you are capable of all sorts of awful things?

Tonight I met someone like that. His name was LA. As I looked into the eyes of LA tonight, I wanted to fall to my knees before God and just say, “Thank you for saving me, I am such a horrible sinner and capable of all kinds of evil without you changing my life”. I am not sure if another human has ever made me feel that so strongly. But, LA made me grateful for a God who placed me in a Christian family. Grateful to a God who opened my eyes to who He was and how much I was in need of Him saving me. LA is a pimp in downtown Raleigh. And he was drunk tonight when we talked to him (you can’t get very far with someone who is drunk). LA had been in jail where people had told him about JEsus. So, he knew all the answers but he was unwilling to change and turn from his sin. That really breaks my heart.

I met several people like LA tonight. I went downtown with a local church to do a homeless ministry they conduct. They buy hamburgers, chips, and water and take them downtown. You go around in groups handing out food and blankets to the homeless and sharing Christ with them. I met two other people: Johnny and Ashley. Ashley was also disinterested and took several steps away from me while we were talking until she was several feet away from me texting on her phone. I can’t say that I blame people for random strangers ambushing them. However, I just feel sad. We hold the key to the biggest thing in life and no one cares. The sad realities of this world. Most people don’t wanna change.

I am trying to force myself to get out in the community more this semester. I intentionally took an evangelism class to force myself to DO SOMETHING! It’s hard to get motivated sometimes here in America to share with people about Jesus. But I want to change that. There is just something about sharing Jesus with other people. I mean, it fulfills something in me. That’s probably because I was created to do it. And I fail at doing it so often.

I realized tonight that this kind of thing makes me so emotionally exhausted. Because I just carry so much weight with this kind of thing. And I realized I have a lifetime of being emotionally exhausted because I carry such a strong burden for people. Missions will definitely make me exhausted.

God has been teaching me a lot lately. I am going through Hebrews. I was reading the other day and it was talking about how God is the Sanctifier. And how we are holy because HE is holy and He lives inside of us. And it dawned on me: I have everything I need inside of me to be Holy: Christ. But I choose to constantly live an unholy life. And, I don’t know why I hadn’t realized it before, but for some reason it just sank in. God is holy and he calls me to a holy life. I can choose holiness. And, I want to look holy to others around me. I want to reflect Christ in my life.

Addison Road sings this song and I LOVE the words:

I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all No
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

(CHORUS 2)
What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life "its" name?
What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?


Jonathan’s first nephew (or neice) was born on February 11, 2010. He is now a first time uncle. And I guess that makes me an (almost) first time aunt. He is a really cute baby. His name is Jonah. We traveled down to Atlanta to see him. And, I got to see my family. It snowed four inches in Georgia. For some reason Blogspot won't let me upload pictures to this post. So I will have to upload some pictures to a different blog post later on!

Finding Beauty in Every Day Things...

You know those little things all around you that remind you of God's presence or even an attribute of God? Like a rainbow for instance, it was put in the sky as a promise. It reminds us that God is faithful and He does not break His promises to us. When He says something He means it, unlike all the people of this world. Then there is the sunshine after the rain, reminding us that God is joy. When we shed tears they will not be forever; because even if all this mortal body brings us is sorrow, when we get to heaven we will know nothing but pure joy in the face of God. I also think of the flowers. They remind us of God's provision. If God can clothe them, will he not also clothe and take care of our every need? If a flower does not go unnoticed by him, how much more do we not go unnoticed? And, hasn't He been SO faithful in giving us more than we could ever need?

But as of this weekend, the thing that comes to my mind is snow. We can go to bed one night with the ground being green and the dirt being visible, then we wake up and just a couple hours later the ground can be completely covered in a pure white blanket of snow. There are no more roads, sidewalks, flowers, or grass that we can see. It's just a pure blanket of white. It's a wonderful picture of many things. But for me, this weekend, I was reminded of God's mercies being new every morning. Thank goodness He never runs out of giving us another chance. His Grace and Mercy are so abundant. Luckily we can wake up every morning and we don't have to live it the way we did the day before. We don't have to always make the same mistakes and we don't have to go down the same path. Each new day is a chance given to us to do more for God's kingdom and to have a fresh start. It's also a wonderful picture of how God can take something nasty, filthy and sinful and turn it into pure white. He can take anything and make it into something we could've never imagined.

I have looked into the faces of many people lately. Some are my friends, who I love dearly. Some are my family, who I could never replace and it brings tears to my eyes to think of how blessed I am with them. And yet others I hardly no. Some are co-workers who drive me nuts with how bossy and nagging they can be. Some are those I can sometimes look down on as "inferior". Some are those that have treated me poorly and I find it almost impossible to love them. But, God has been reminding me lately that He can make ANYONE a new creature. He made me one and I can still at times looks like a hopeless cause. I must never give up on others, because Jesus has not given up on me. When I look into the eyes of those I don't understand or those who I find it nearly impossible to love, I need to see Jesus. Because He can melt the heart of stone. He makes all things new.

And I am so thankful He gives me a new day, with new mercies. I am grateful that I can wake up every day and try harder than the day before. I am so grateful I can get chance after chance to actually make my life count for Christ and hear him say "Well done" when it is all finished. BEcause in the end, that is all that matters. And I pray I wake up each new day and make it count more than the day before.

One of my favorite songs that says it well (Nichole Nordeman can say it more beautifully than I ever could):

Is it fair to say I was lured away?
By endless distractions and lovelier attractions then
Or fairer still, my own free will
Is the better one to blame
For this familiar mess I've made again

So I would understand, if you were out of patience
And I would understand, if I was out of chances

(Chorus)
Your mercies are new every morning
So let me wake with the dawn
When the music is through or so it seems to be
Let me sing a new song, old things gone
Every day it's true, You make all Your mercies new

The distance left between East and West
Is how far You would go to forget the debt I owe
And thrown into the sea, the wicked ways in me
Will never have a chance to wash back on the sand

So I would understand, if you would make me pay
I would understand, lying in the bed I made again

(Chorus)

Up comes the sun on every one of us
Gone, gone, gone the guilt and shame that knew your name