God isn't safe and you wouldn't want Him to be!

Spring Break has been interesting for me. It's been a strange/hard/emotional week in a lot of ways. I was thankful to just be home. To be honest I didn't really care what I was doing as long as I was HOME. It has been good for me. I enjoyed WAY TOO MUCH the sleeping in till lunchtime, getting ready whenever I felt like it, and filling the day with whatever activities I wanted to do. So, I didn't study so much for my senior orals. But, I did get the study sheet ready. I will study hard next week. I have them on March 30th. Pray I do well!

I realize the days of doing what I did this spring break are rapidly coming to a close. I am growing up. Who knew (by the way) that growing up could be so difficult and painful sometimes? No one tells you how hard growing up can be! It's a good thing. But, it's not easy. I am glad to graduate in some ways. But, in others I am not. I guess I don't think I am fully ready for the REAL world. Not quite yet. But I have a feeling God doesn't agree with me! The future can be a terrifying thing at times. ANd, some might tell me that since I am in God's hands there is nothing to fear. But, I disagree. Yes, in God's hands things will work out for the best. There have been times I thought I knew what was best, then God said no. I look back now and I say,"Thank you Lord for not allowing me to have what I wanted".

In a different aspect though being in God's hands can be the scariest place. Because if you are doing it the right way, that means you aren't in control. And while that turns out to be a good thing, it also turns about to be a scary thing! I like to be in control. Life is more comfortable for me when I feel like I have some sort of control of how things are going. But I soon realize I don't at all. ANd living with Christ in the driver's seat is not exactly "safe" (in one definition of the word anyways). IF you are "safe" In your christian walk you probably aren't doing something right. When we are truly living for God it will scare you to death.

I remember this summer heading to the Philippines I felt SO out of control. I have never felt something quite like it. I got a rush of excitement at first but when it really hit me I was FREAKING out on the inside. Going to the Philippines was so far out of my comfort zone. It wasn't safe. It wasn't all warm and fuzzy and cozy. It hurt. It stretched. At times it completely made me wonder who I even was as a person.

As I look into my future that's what I see: pain. Because if I'm honest, if I truly do what God is calling me to do in my life I see a lot of times when I will be uncomfortable. I see myself being in pain over having to go so far away from my family. If God called us to do what was easy for us we would never grow. He doesn't. Sometimes he calls us to do the hardest thing. The last thing on our list. Living your life in total obedience and surrender to Christ is not safe. He will ask you to do the things you least expect and sometimes the things you least want to do. But, if you do them you will come alive. IF you do them you will understand why you are being called to do them! I truly believe that. Sometimes you may not understand until later but you will eventually get it!

I know the Philippines this summer was like that. Once I obeyed I felt truly alive.

Today I was listening to Steven Curtis Chapman. His songs for some reason get me really excited about living for Christ. I know it's cheesy, but it's true! Sometimes I need reminders throughout my day about why I should be excited about life. Sometimes I need reminders of who I am in Christ. Sometimes I get so used to living life from the day-to-day that I totally lose sight of what Christ has done for me! I am redeemed. I am a child of God. I have all the hope in the world regardless of what happens! That is something to get excited about! It's something I should get excited about WAY more often! Unfortunately living in America we are so busy we drown out the presence of God with everything imaginable. So it's nice to listen to music that will focus me on Christ as I go throughout my busy schedule. I just need some things in my life that will slow me down and remind me why I am living!