It's A Slow Fade

Yesterday was an interesting day for me. I have a couple of moments where a situation really got my attention and God really spoke to me clearly. I don't always have days like that. So, I am sharing.

It all started when I was SUPER tired. I ended up falling asleep in my voice lesson about four times. It was pretty embarassing and pathetic. Luckily my voice teacher was understanding. I have been super tired this week! Anyways...I was sitting in my next class extra tired and was in physical pain. I decided the worst thing for me at that moment was having to sit still for 50 minutes because I couldn't focus on what we were learning because I was in so much pain. Anyways, my tiredness also led to thoughts in my head that made absolutely no sense. Sometimes I will be taking notes in class and will get really tired. When I finally jerk myself back awake I will look down out my paper to see that I have written something crazy in the middle of my notes like,"I need to go to the pickle house" (I think that was my most recent wierd one) haha. Anyways, yesterday the weird thoughts were simply running through my head when all the sudden a random phrase popped into my head in the midst of it. ANd it caught my attention I guess because I was appauled that I would even think it. Suddenly I had to ask myself why that would even pop into my head. ANd, instantly as I asked myself this question, a movie that I own popped into my head. And, I realized that phrase is in the movie quite a bit. Obviously, when I am more coherant things like this don't pop into my head. But, I guess when your brain is tired just random things come into your head. It was at this moment that I realized that some things have more an affect on me than I realize. Because if you put certain things into your head they will stay there. Lets face it: our brains are scary places. They are capable of recalling and remembering millions of pieces of information at a time. So, when you put something in there your brain automatically stores it somewhere. The point I am getting at is that I always thought that some things didn't really affect me. And, that was one of those things that I didn't think really did anything. However, yesterday my brain proved me wrong. It obviously affects me more than I ever thought.

Because of this event I started dwelling on Christ, and his holiness. I was struck for the first time in a long time with the reality of it all. He is so holy. And I am so unholy. He lives in me. Sometimes I dont' dwell on Him as a holy, jealous God. But, when you get down to it that is what we should think of Him as more often. It would help us to live a more holy life if we were to realize how offensive it is for Him when we sin. I had that epiphany become even more reality when I realized I was discussing with a friend the principle of Matthew 18 and 1 Corinthians 5. We were discussing how we were supposed to go about carrying out rebuke. You know the chapter about bringing a brother's sins out into the open. I was asking how far tht priniciple was suppposed to penetrate our lives. I thought back over times when I had straight up rebuked friends of mine for their habitual sin as christians. ANd when they didn't change I eventually stopped associating with them. My thoughts were on whether or not that was the right thing to do. But then I thought of how Holy christ is again. ANd I thought about how He is so holy He does not want sin anywhere near Him. He will not associate himself with Sin. He cannot do so. IT is against everything He is. And I thought about people who claim the name of Christ yet with their actions they completely demolish and spit on everything that God stands for. It led me to think about how if God is so holy He does not want to even associate with sin, does that mean that because he is in us he does not want us to associate with sin either? Even to take it a step further and to say God does not want us to associate with those who are completely living against Who He is and living in sin? I believe the answer is No, he does not want us anywhere near sin or near those who are habitually living in sin but are claiming the name of Christ.

For once in my life, I felt like I caught a glimpse of the holiness of God. And, part of it scared me and left me in fear of Him and living against His character with my life. Something to take more seriously, I think. Making sure we are not allowing things in our life that snuff out who God can be in our lives is important. It is pretty easy to slowly let "little things" in until we are so far away from where we should be. And it is also easy to allow things in that we don't think are harming us any (like I did). I believe God takes it very seriously when people are claiming His name but are completely destroying His holiness by what they do in their lives. We should take Christ's holiness so seriously we don't want anything to do with this!

Another thing from yesterday happened last night. Me and Jonathan headed up to Clemson in South Carolina for their swing dance night. Jonathan had a homework assignment for apologetics where he had to conduct an interview with someone who considered themselves something other than a christian. After walking around scoping out the options we approached two people on a bench. We ended up scaring the guy making him think we wanted to (in his words) "jump him". lol. It was funny. ANd turns out he is "southern baptist". Finally went entered the bowling alley and saw an indian guy. We decided to try that out. Luckily, he said yes so we sat down to talk to him. Of course Jonathan did all of the talking unless I got too excited and wanted to toss something in there or help Jonathan clarify something. But, I am currently taking a world religions class. We just got done studying Hinduism. I had never known much about Hinduism, but it is a CRAZY religion in so many ways. Turns out, this guy was a Hindu. From him answering Jonathan's questions I could tell "hindu" was more of a name and tradition in his family for him than something he took seriously. But, he had some screwed up beliefs. And, it was exciting for me knowing some of what he was referring to since I had just studied it. I got to ask him like two questions: 1. Where he was in he caste system in India (which I thought was fascinating) 2. What Hindu gods he worshipped. Since I could actually name some.

HE had just come to the United States in August and he had left his whole family and everything he knew. He was really nice. ANd unfortunately we didn't really talk much about what we believed in relation to him because he had to go play ping pong with his buddies. But, Jonathan did get his email address and such. So, just pray for him and Jonathan as he stays in contact with him. I guess this wasn't really an "epiphany" except it was an eyeopener. Sitting there across the table from someone who believed something SO DIFFERENT from me! And hearing about his beliefs fascinated me. I love talking to people and finding out what they think about life. And if I know about their religion and know what to ask it is even more exciting for me! I just love talking to people about important things! It made me excited for the future. But, it also broke my heart. And it made me realize how much I didn't want to get up and leave him playing ping pong when I knew he was going to hell when he died. It weighs heavily on my heart knowing that I have the answer to life's biggest question. And to see someone who seemed so confused about life. ANd to know that there was emptiness in what He was living out. It was so hard to live him there. My heart breaks for him. ANd, part of me was so sad that I didn't go to a university. Knowing that reaching out to international students is a HUGE way to share the gospel. It is the only time you will hve an opportunity to reach out to people from several different countries at the same time in our own culture. And the door is wide open because they are vulnerable: in a new culture, alone, without those they love, looking for someone to care. I was jealous last night for those who get that opportunity on a college campus everyday!

And, Swing dancing was of course fun!

I would like to close with these bible verses who speak to how serious God is about allowing in into our lives:

"Woe to the world because of its stumbling blocks! For it is inevitable that stumbling blocks come; but woe to that man through whom stumbling blocks come!If your hand or your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it fromyou; it is better for you to enter life crippled or lame, than to have two hands or two feet and be cst into the ternal fire. If your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out and throw it from you. IT is beter for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be cast into the fiery hell." (Matthew 18:7-9)