Stop Using People

"As is often noted, (in our world today) there is a constant danger of loving things and using people, rather than loving people and using things. When that temptation is succumbed to, stable and faithful personal relationships become impossible. A person engulfed in self-will and self-fulfillment becomes less and less capable of loving because as his desire to possess grows, his desire to give withers. And when he forfeits selflessness for selfishness, he forfeits the source of true joy."

That is a quote from my devotion this morning. And, I have seen this come into play in my own life. How easy it really is to stop truly loving people but to just use them for whatever we can get out of them and then toss them to the side when we aren't getting it anymore. Our world has become a world of self-indulgence. And sadly enough, this is true even in so many Christian's lives. How easy it is for us Christians to rebel against God's way of doing things. But, I have found in my own life that when I truly live like His word says I am the happiest. God knows what He is doing when he commands certain things from us. His commands are not meant to be chains, but they are meant to bring freedom.

This is just the case when it comes to truly loving others. At the core of each of us is a sinful nature that just wants to get what we want all the time. So, in our relationships we fight and bicker and nag until we get everything we want out of the other person. And when our fighting or nagging doesn't lead us to what we want, we let the other person go. If we would just let all of that go. If we would stop being petty. If we would focus on loving other people the way they need to be loved I believe it would bring us so much more freedom in our relationships. Of course this is way harder than it sounds. Typing it is significantly easier than living it.

A perfect example of this is seen in the television show "Jon and Kate Plus 8". I was really disappointed as I watched the season premiere last night. I sat on the couch watching this precious family (who just last season had a vow renewal ceremony where they showed their kids they would always be together, regardless of what came along in life) talking about how they weren't sure if they were going to stay married or not. They claim to be Christians. In my mind this was different than the secular singer/performer who claims Christ but has nothing to do with Him in their lifestyle. These people wrote books, put out devotionals, claimed Christ on their show and I really did see Him in their lives in some ways. But here they are talking about getting a divorce. For Jon it's because he has come to resent having so many children and a wife that nags him all the time. For Kate it is because Jon has made poor decisions and has turned into a different person. But, you know what? I don't care what their reasons are, this shouldn't even be an option. They've both done some pretty horrible and selfish things to one another. WAKE UP!!!

And here is another classic scenario where Christ living inside someone means absolutely nothing over the major decisions or actions of their lives. I pray not to be like that! I pray that Christ living inside of me will transform all of who I am. Even if it means I have to stick something out that is hard. Even if it means I have to work through things when I would rather not do so. Because I really don't want to be another person claiming the name of Christ who can't even carry out loving other people regardless of what I get in return.

When Christ saved us He gave us victory: victory over sin, over death, over EVERYTHING. But so many times we choose to live like He didn't. We choose to act like we are enslaved to our own habits or desires. We choose to say no to things we should do simply because "we don't want to do it". This isn't how Christ wants us to live.

I wish Christians would really stop carrying out their relationships like the rest of the world. Myself included. Because, you know what? It's always hard to love someone when they are being completely unloving towards you. But, that is exactly what Christ would've done!

I want to show Christ as big as He really is! I want Him to have His way in me. I want my relationships to be a testimony to Christ in my life. I don't want them to be a testimony of how self absorbed I am.

Can't we finally stop loving things and using people so that we can truly start loving people and using things?


What on earth am I missing
What is it that I don’t see
Is their someone somewhere out there
Crying out

Am I truly not noticing
Or just refusing to believe
Do I choose to feed my faithless self
With doubt

All of heaven is falling all around me
And I am drowning in the mystery of Your love
All the universe can’t contain Your beauty
But You come alive in me
You come alive

I’m not flying on angel wings
I’m not swinging from no tree
I got love and hate and the will to change
And choose

I have a smile that You gave me
You have a love that I need
When I’m down, You know just how
To lift my mood

You bring me to life
Yeah it feels just like
I’ve been born again
For the first time, for the first time