Life

Life….it’s been so busy lately I have hardly had the chance to stop to catch my breath. Being moved to this new department has definitely turned my work life upside down and I have been going, going, going for the past five months now. I felt like I never had time to even catch a breath while at work. And it was definitely wearing me out. Sometime last week I remember thinking, “Lord, I know this is your plan for me right now. But I just don’t know how much longer I can be THIS busy.” It was rough. And honestly, I was doing so many emails I was counting as 2 ½ people at work every day (We are supposed to do 27. I was doing around 60). I felt like I was working harder and doing more work than anyone. I’m honestly not trying to brag. I’m just painting a picture of how much I’ve worn myself out. What’s the balance in doing your very best for God at your workplace and not making your hands have carpal tunnel when you are 24 years old? Ha. I’m not quite sure I have figured it out.

Then last week I got the news from my boss that I was being moved back to my old department. The peaceful department. The one where not EVERYONE you talked to on the phone was screaming, crying, or throwing a tantrum. Haha. For real, this has been my life. Ha. It was in that moment that I was reminded, God really is watching out for me. He always knows what I can handle. And I think it is even comforting to know that unbelievers are even working out God’s plans in our lives. It was strange to me that my boss would wake up one day and say “I want Jessica back in this department”, even though she had stated it was a permanent move to begin with and I would never move back. And so I am transitioning again. And honestly, it’s good and it’s hard for me. Change has never been easy. But if there is one thing this job is forcing me to be it’s FLEXIBLE. And I know I’m going to need to be JUST THAT when I am on the mission field in the future. I remember being in the Philippines and it KILLING me how quickly and easily plans changed. How nothing was for sure or solid. I had to learn to just roll with life. And I hated every minute of it. ha.

I come from a family that avoids change. We like the known. We eat at the same restaurants every year on vacation. We do the same things. It’s comforting. Haha. I like to have comfort in life. Who doesn’t? I like life to be predictable to some extent. I don’t like things to come hit me out of nowhere. And I don’t like picking up and moving and having to readjust to something all the time. But that has been exactly what I’ve done ever since I got this job. Something is ALWAYS changing. And it makes me uncomfortable. But I am also aware that it’s good for me. And that I very much needed this change to happen in my life in order to keep my sanity, my 20/20 vision, and to keep my hands from getting arthritis one day. Ha.

So, I have finally had a moment to breathe again. And I hope to have more moments like this over the next few months. Hopefully I can update more often. If anyone even checks this thing anymore. ha.

I’ve been doing the “read through the bible in a year” so far this year. And, I am walking with the Israelites through the dessert right now. This morning I read about them complaining to God about the fact that he brought them out of Egypt in order to bring them to a place where they were struggling for water and food. I guess that still hadn’t learned yet that God was providing for their every need. How could they want to go back to a place like Egypt? They were driven hard every day and were doing hard labor. Yet, they idealized the past and spat in God’s face because they hadn’t learned that He was going to give them everything they needed. I feel like I do that a lot. Instead of being grateful to God for whatever His provision is in the present, I look back at the past (something that was a crappy situation even) and I will wish for it back and grumble and complain. It’s silly really. And it was a good reminder that God is taking care of me right now. And I should be living in that and be thankful for it.

Me and Jonathan are getting ready to head to Charleston, SC for our one year anniversary tomorrow through Tuesday. I am excited to get away and relax on the beach. It will be great!