What can be shown, cannot be said!

A New Blog

2012-01-19T21:17:00.002-05:00

I have decided it is time for an upgrade to a new blog. I changed my email address recently. And I just wanted a new look and a new start. This blog is SO OLD. ha.

So, if you are interested, feel free to visit my new blog below:

http://adventuresofjessandjon.wordpress.com/

FEAR

2012-01-05T10:47:00.002-05:00

My Dad gave me this book for Christmas called Re:Lit. I think it's such a great concept: preaching to yourself. I have really enjoyed reading a chapter a day. I find it very encouraging. And I highly recommend it. The idea of the book is that we need to preach the Gospel not only to others but also to ourselves each day! It's a very important practice that I am failing at and have never really though too much about until now!

Something I really struggle with is fear/worry. And I found this chapter incredibly encouraging. Something I need to preach to myself daily!

This post is an excerpt from Chapter 3 of Joe Thorn's upcoming Re:lit book, Note to Self: The Discipline of Preaching to Yourself.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom;

all those who practice it have a good understanding.

His praise endures forever!

PSALM 111:10

And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul.

Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell.

MATTHEW 10:28

Dear Self,

You often fear the wrong things. For example, often you are fearful of conflict, suffering, or the loss of good things like respect or acceptance by certain kinds of people. It is understandable from a worldly perspective, for these things you are afraid of losing are themselves—worldly. This does not mean they are bad, but they are temporal. So many of the things you value are good gifts from God; but they do not last, nor are they supposed to be something from which you find your identity and lasting hope.

The problem with this kind of worldly fear is that it will lead you to toe party lines instead of correcting and challenging the people you are close to. It will compel you to try to live a safe life, free from risk or danger instead of being willing to make the hard and “risky” choice of following Jesus in a culture that rejects him. It will lead you to so prize the good gifts of God that they mutate into idols that you are unwilling to let go of.

You don’t need to be afraid of anything, but you do need to fear your God with a holy reverence. Such “fear” is an aspect of faith that responds to God’s holiness, sovereignty, and transcendence. This higher form of fear is that which leads to awe, adoration, and carefulness of life because of the intimate knowledge of your Maker and Redeemer. What should you fear in life above a holy God who forgives the sins of unholy men like yourself? What can be taken from you? Your possessions can go up in flames, but you have treasure in heaven and stand to inherit the kingdom. Your reputation may be sullied, but you are justified in Jesus. You may be rejected by those you admire, but you are accepted by God. You may be hated, but your Father in heaven loves you with an undying love. What is there in this life to fear?

The fear you need to maintain and cultivate is a fear of God, for in it you will discover wisdom and develop strength that enables you to persevere in faith to the end.

This post is an excerpt from Chapter 3 of Joe Thorn's Re:lit book, Note to Self: The Discipline of Preaching to Yourself.

Looking back on 2011!

2011-12-31T18:05:00.020-05:00

A RECAP OF 2011:

In January 2011: My friends took me to see the broadway Beauty and the Beast in ATlanta. My husband planned a surprise party for me and I turned 24 years old. The GREATEST thing though was that my neice Kyleigh was born!

IN FEBRUARY 2011: I learned more about how to make homemade jewelry. And me and Jonathan spent our second Valentine's Day married!

IN MARCH 2011: I went to my best friend's home town for the first time. She lives right outside of Lynchburg, VA. Also, my family came up to see our home in Raleigh, NC for the first time!

IN APRIL: Me and Jonathan went to the local Carnival in town and spent Easter here in Raleigh, NC together. I also went on a women's retreat with North Wake with all of my good friends.

IN MAY 2011: We went home to Atlanta for the wedding of Kristin Melin and Steven Link. Also, we got to meet our twin nephews Huxton and Eli and see my family while in town.

IN JUNE 2011: Me and Jonathan celebrated our one year anniversary and took a trip to Charleston, SC. It was wonderful!

IN JULY 2011: We celebrated Jonathan's 24th birthday by going to a baseball game. My family took a family vacation to Gulf Shores, AL. Everyone was there. My aunt even came back from overseas. It was a WONDERFUL time. The BEST.

IN AUGUST 2011: My best friend Ginny Marstin got married to Robert Vilushis in Brook Neal, VA. It was a wonderful time with friends!

IN SEPTEMBER 2011: I had Labor Day off of work and Me and Jonathan got to spend some time together. We spent the day playing Mini Golf and eating out.

IN OCTOBER 2011: Me and Jonathan carved our pumpkin into ET, attended a fall festival at our church (The Summit North Raleigh), went on a beach weekend trip with girls in my small group, I attended a Taylor Swift concert with my sister, and we had a family cookout with the Melins.

IN NOVEMBER 2011: I spent my first Thanksgiving away from my family. It was sad in that regards, but I also got to spend it with one of my closest friends who is about to go to India for two years (Danae). Also, my friend Christina Wingo got married to Michael Anderson. I got to see my friend, Ginny again too :) Me and Jonathan also decorated for Christmas.

IN DECEMBER 2011: I got to go home for Christmas. Not just home, but to Clarksdale, MS as well where my Grandparents live. My aunt got to come home from overseas again. It was WONDERFUL!

This year has been really good to me! God has blessed me richly! I am so thankful to all of my friends and family who add good things to my life everyday! Love you guys! Looking forward to a 2012! It will have to be good because I will be sharing it with you guys!

A Crazy Night

2011-12-02T23:22:00.010-05:00

Tonight was a rough night. I was so relieved to get off of work because it was the start of the weekend. However, it quickly turned into CRAZINESS. Jonathan took me to a Hurricane's Hockey Game on Thursday night (which is usually our grocery night). So that meant grocery night was changed to Friday. It took us a while to get everything in Target. This time around we had to get him razors because he had run out (that's always a kick to the stomach because they cost about half of what we usually spend on our groceries anyways). They are crazy expensive. We get to the check out and the guy is new. So he is going slower than I've seen short of a lady I got once with a broken arm who was about 80 year old (it really did happen). This was (ironically) driving Jonathan nuts and wasn't even bothering me (it's usually the other way around). He finally got done bagging our groceries. But as we headed out the door the alarm in the store went off. Jonathan, being the honest and caring person he is, walked back through the alarms (they went off again). No one even looked up from what they were doing. We searched our cart because we had a feeling it was the razors. They put sensors on them nowadays because they are SO EXPENSIVE that I am sure a lot of dishonest people are tempted to steal those things. WE searched and searched out cart but couldn't find the culprit. We actually began to wonder if we had not picked up a bag from the checkout line. Finally we looked around and saw that no one cared that we were standing there. So, we decided if no one else cares about the beeping we will just proceed to our car. The second run through the alarm system suddenly brought over a policeman. Who stopped us and questioned us about what we had bought that evening. He decided to let us go on without looking through all of our merchandise. WE got to the car and Jonathan finally found the razors. He took it back in with the receipt to get them to take the sensor off because there's no way you can get those things off at home. After all of this it was about 7:00 and I decided I didn't feel like cooking dinner. Since Jonathan works at Pizza Hut we get a discount. So we decide to order a pizza. I was super excited about finally getting home, eating some pizza and watching The Santa Clause. lol.

Pizza Hut was REALLY busy and they told us it would be about a 30 minute wait. We live five miles from the store. So we decided to take our groceries home and come back out later. We unloaded all of our groceries and headed back to pick up our pizza. It was pretty crazy in the store and there was a HUGE line. But when we got up to the counter Jonathan realized he had forgotten his wallet at home. So, we had to get back in the car and go back home to get his wallet. When we got back to Pizza Hut the third time it was even crazier. When we finally talked to the person behind the counter they told us our order was 284 and they were already doing orders around 320. Apparently they had forgotten our order altogether. And we weren't the only ones they had forgotten. There was a long line of people who were getting really angry. The lady also stated they had run out of boxes and could not make us what we had ordered. So, I decided to just save them the trouble and let those who didn't work at Pizza Hut have their orders. I figured they would be more angry that Jonathan and I would since he works there and can kind of relate to teh craziness that sometimes goes on. After all of this it was nearing 9pm. I was STARVING because I hadn't eaten since 12:30pm. We just decided it would be best to go get something quick and just call it an evening. So we split a quesadilla and then got some frozen yogurt. ha.

What a night. In light of that bad night I decided to share three commercials that are on right now that I LOVE And make me smile. ha. ENJOY (although you might not get why I love them so much...that's ok). Also, you may have to copy and paste them to watch them because my link was not working when I put it into blogger:

In honor of that here are three new ADORABLE commercials that make me smile:

1. Pop Tart Commercial 2011

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dL-W3pXU84c

2. Hershey Commerical 2011

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpP51j74Iyg

3. Biltmore Commercial 2011

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=etdzDxH6F6c

It's been a while....

2011-11-25T23:47:00.008-05:00

So, it has definitely been a while since I have written on this blog. There are several reasons like: 1. I am SO BUSY I don't really take the time to sit down and write. 2. I figure no one cares anyways. ha. 3. I have been feeling very uninspired lately. lol. But, I will give you a quick recap of the things that have been going on here for the last several months:

1. September. I spent a weekend with my friends from small group at one of their beach houses. Unfortunately, it decided to be hurricane type weather the ENTIRE weekend. So we drove four hours to have a movie/girl time at the beach. But I did enjoy my time with these wonderful friends of mine who have shined Jesus into my life in so many ways:

2. October. The first weekend in October I went back to Atlanta and spent some quality time with my sister and In-Laws. My sister was gracious enough to give me a ticket to the Taylor Swift concert. I'm nothing if not Taylor Swift's BIGGEST FAN. ha. It's true though. LOVE HER. Me and Sara realized quickly we were way above the average age of those in attendance. It's ok though. We loved it all the same. She is seriously talented. That weekend I also got to have a cookout with Jonathan's family and I got to see my twin nephews for only the second time since they were born. They are growing up so fast!!! Later in the month me and Jonathan carved pumpkins and went on the most difficult corn maze of my life. Good thing I have a very directionally savy husband or I would still be working my way through that maze. ha.

and

and

3. November. The month of november has been crazy busy thus far and has brought with it several things. First off, it has brought my friend, Christina Wingo's wedding. Which was a fun event. And it brought back my long lost friends who have decided to get married and move away from me. ha. Understandable. But I miss them all the same. So, the night of her wedding we all got together and had a girl sleepover complete with the usual nail painting, yogurt eating, and girly movie watching:

Next on the agenda for November was Thanksgiving. It was my first year not being home with my family. And I missed them TOO MUCH. I was pretty bummed about not seeing them. We did get to skype (which is the next best thing). I was very thankful though to get to spend Thanksgiving with a dear friend, Danae Morris. She just got accepted with the IMB to get a jouryneyman and she is moving to India for two years. About two weeks ago she dropped the bomb on me: Instead of leaving in April I am leaving in January. OUCH. I'm gonna miss her. I am so happy for her and yet so sad all at one time. And I am thankful I got to spend Thanksgiving with this dear friend of mine who is such an amazing amazing person:

Lastly, which catches you all up to date on my life...is Christmas decorating. Today me and Jonathan went and got our Christmas tree. We put up all of our Christmas decorations and wrapped presents. Then we ate some puppy chow, drank some hot chocolate, and watched Home Alone. Christmas is my MOST FAVORITE time of the year. And I am already feeling warm and fuzzy inside. ha. But I am learning more and more lately that it is the PEOPLE that make things special...not the things. I guess it takes maturing to realize it doesn't really matter what you have but WHO you have. And, I am very blessed with amazing friends, family , and even co-workers.

As I stood in line at midnight last night at Target with one of my friends, we were recounting the story that happened a couple of years ago at a Wal-Mart store on black Friday. When the doors opened, two people fell and got trampled on. No one stopped to help them or even cared. They were too focused on the 42 inch plasma screen they wanted for their living room. I watched people act horrible last night. And it dawned on me. In America we really do care more about things than we do even about human life. Things that will fade and won't mean a thing later. But, it also made me realize that it isn't about the things. It's really just about the people. And I have some awesome people in my life. And, they mean more to me than the next best thing that comes out on the market.

So, for Christmas, give me all my people. ha. That's what I want!

Think Different

2011-10-14T14:48:00.001-04:00

Here’s to the crazy ones, (Jesus Freaks in the Jesus Movement, who just loved to talk about Jesus)
the misfits, (a bunch of college students who were called the “holy club,” who led a great awakening)
the rebels, (Paige Patterson and others who led a conservative resurgence in the SBC)
the troublemakers. (the Anabaptists, who led a “radical” reformation)
The round pegs in the square holes. (Ezekiel the prophet)
The ones who see things differently. (David, looking at Goliath; Wilberforce, looking at slavery in England)

They’re not fond of rules (Jesus confronting the Pharisees in Matthew 23)
and they have no respect for the status quo. (i.e., Jonathan Edwards, Evan Roberts, anyone who ever led a movement of God)

You can quote them, (it’s easy to quote them and do nothing)
disagree with them, (it’s easier to point out problems than be part of needed change)
glorify or vilify them. (you cannot be neutral with them)
About the only thing you can’t do
is ignore them, (Rosa Parks, William Carey, Nelson Mandela, Jonah)
because they change things. (Moses, Luther, Platt)
They push the human race forward. (the book of Acts)

And while some may see them as the crazy ones,
we see genius. (Adoniram Judson, Jim Elliot)

Because the people who are crazy enough to
think they can change the world
are the ones who do. (and thus, you find this little poem intriguing at least and inspiring at best)

Think Different. (Be remarkable. Change the world, for the glory of God and the sake of the gospel.

You and I have one life. Do not spend it with trivial things.

I borrowed this from Alvin Reid's blog: http://alvinreid.com/

He is a professor at Southeastern Seminary in Wake Forest, NC.

Life

2011-06-09T12:07:00.001-04:00

Life….it’s been so busy lately I have hardly had the chance to stop to catch my breath. Being moved to this new department has definitely turned my work life upside down and I have been going, going, going for the past five months now. I felt like I never had time to even catch a breath while at work. And it was definitely wearing me out. Sometime last week I remember thinking, “Lord, I know this is your plan for me right now. But I just don’t know how much longer I can be THIS busy.” It was rough. And honestly, I was doing so many emails I was counting as 2 ½ people at work every day (We are supposed to do 27. I was doing around 60). I felt like I was working harder and doing more work than anyone. I’m honestly not trying to brag. I’m just painting a picture of how much I’ve worn myself out. What’s the balance in doing your very best for God at your workplace and not making your hands have carpal tunnel when you are 24 years old? Ha. I’m not quite sure I have figured it out.

Then last week I got the news from my boss that I was being moved back to my old department. The peaceful department. The one where not EVERYONE you talked to on the phone was screaming, crying, or throwing a tantrum. Haha. For real, this has been my life. Ha. It was in that moment that I was reminded, God really is watching out for me. He always knows what I can handle. And I think it is even comforting to know that unbelievers are even working out God’s plans in our lives. It was strange to me that my boss would wake up one day and say “I want Jessica back in this department”, even though she had stated it was a permanent move to begin with and I would never move back. And so I am transitioning again. And honestly, it’s good and it’s hard for me. Change has never been easy. But if there is one thing this job is forcing me to be it’s FLEXIBLE. And I know I’m going to need to be JUST THAT when I am on the mission field in the future. I remember being in the Philippines and it KILLING me how quickly and easily plans changed. How nothing was for sure or solid. I had to learn to just roll with life. And I hated every minute of it. ha.

I come from a family that avoids change. We like the known. We eat at the same restaurants every year on vacation. We do the same things. It’s comforting. Haha. I like to have comfort in life. Who doesn’t? I like life to be predictable to some extent. I don’t like things to come hit me out of nowhere. And I don’t like picking up and moving and having to readjust to something all the time. But that has been exactly what I’ve done ever since I got this job. Something is ALWAYS changing. And it makes me uncomfortable. But I am also aware that it’s good for me. And that I very much needed this change to happen in my life in order to keep my sanity, my 20/20 vision, and to keep my hands from getting arthritis one day. Ha.

So, I have finally had a moment to breathe again. And I hope to have more moments like this over the next few months. Hopefully I can update more often. If anyone even checks this thing anymore. ha.

I’ve been doing the “read through the bible in a year” so far this year. And, I am walking with the Israelites through the dessert right now. This morning I read about them complaining to God about the fact that he brought them out of Egypt in order to bring them to a place where they were struggling for water and food. I guess that still hadn’t learned yet that God was providing for their every need. How could they want to go back to a place like Egypt? They were driven hard every day and were doing hard labor. Yet, they idealized the past and spat in God’s face because they hadn’t learned that He was going to give them everything they needed. I feel like I do that a lot. Instead of being grateful to God for whatever His provision is in the present, I look back at the past (something that was a crappy situation even) and I will wish for it back and grumble and complain. It’s silly really. And it was a good reminder that God is taking care of me right now. And I should be living in that and be thankful for it.

Me and Jonathan are getting ready to head to Charleston, SC for our one year anniversary tomorrow through Tuesday. I am excited to get away and relax on the beach. It will be great!

My Ordinary Life

2011-02-28T18:30:00.003-05:00

I guess I haven't updated on my life lately. But then again...there isn't too much to update on...Here are the basics:

1. Me and Jonathan entered the Folger's Jingle Contest. YES, yes we did. And that means that for the past four weeks Jonathan has been writing this song and thinking of ideas. And he made me....ACT. GASP. I hate acting. I always have. haha. I'm awful at it. But I tried to get into it for Jonathan's sake. And who knows...maybe we'll win $25,000 and be able to pay off all of Jonathan's loans from college. ha. I know, I want to do such glamorous things with our winnings.haha. It's a long shot. But God does work miracles. And hey, our video turned out well for our skills. I just hate seeing myself. So if we make it to the top and everyone in America sees my acting skills (or lack thereof) I will decide to go into hiding for an indefinite amount of time. We do have a copy. I am willing to show only those who promise to not make fun of me. ha.At least it's better than my highschool play. Remember? As much as I want to...I can't seem to forget.

2. I have been volunteering in the nursery at church. It's so nice to be members somewhere again for the first time in years. And it's nice to be involved. I have been in the 2 year old room. Adorable kids. LOVE Them. Jonathan has been playing drums for the worship band every couple weeks. I am glad he has had a way to use his mad skills again. It's hard to find a time to play in our apartment (we have his drums set up in our closet downstairs. haha. Yes....it's true. It really is big enough. That just means we don't have room for things like the vacuum cleaner and whatnot. But I think it's a fair trade! I like hearing him play (and the neighbors do too...).

3. Our small group is about to start World Relief. Which is where you adopt a family of refugees that came over from another country. You pour into their lives and teach them how to survive in our culture. They aren't believers. It's a WONDERFUL opportunity and exactly where my heart is. So I am VERY excited.

4. I am still working my tail off at my job. haha. I do still enjoy it. But at the same time I complain about it a lot. I need to stop that. God has definitely blessed our lives. So grateful he has provided for our every need! I have been carpooling to work with a friend who is in the same boat as me. Her husband is in seminary. And so we've been saving on gas money. Cause it's almost up to $4.00 up here. Which is ridiculous.

5. Jonathan's family is coming up this weekend for a visit and I am cooking my very first HUGE meal for his family. In fact, I've NEVER EVER cooked for them. I don't think my deviled eggs count. SO nervous.I am sure it will at least not be a complete disaster. ha.

Other than that...my life is boring. Just thought I'd update. It's been a while...

The New Me.

2011-02-13T12:50:00.004-05:00

Yesterday I finally got to see my good friend, Cameron Liner, again. We live in the same city but are so busy we hardly see one another. We met in the Philippines. Because we shared so many difficult and life changing situations together, we became really good friends, really fast. She is incredibly creative and unique. Something I struggle to be. But something I aspire to be at the same time.

Yesterday when we were hanging out she took me to a make-your-own jewelry store in downtown Raleigh called Ornamentia. They have everything you would need to make jewelry. And they even help you out when you are trying to figure out how to put your jewelry together. We searched the store and finally found some beads and got to work. It was clear to everyone in the store that I was a rookie. I had someone from the store decide to come sit with me and give me pointers. Cameron didn't need pointers. She was born to be creative and crafty! Ha.

I learned they had a thing called jewelry "boot camp". This is where they teach you how to make jewelry. I realized that if I learned how to do this I could save SO much money from buying jewelry. And I could somehow find a way to make myself more creative and crafty. Something I am always wanting to be more of. Because it comes in handy when you are a wife and mother. And it saves you money.

So, I have debated going to "boot camp". And even if I don't I am going to plunge into jewelry making. I have decided it's my new project. A new way to inspire myself to think in a creative way and learn to do things I don't already know how to do. I am sure being crafty will be of use for my life.

I am also trying to think of other ways I can learn things that will help me save money and be more creative in life.

So, I am plunging into the world of creativity and hope to emerge a new person.

Cameron made me a cute necklace in honor of my birthday. I am including the picture below:

A New Life!

2011-02-06T15:56:00.003-05:00

I am officially an aunt! I have decided it's pretty crazy the love you can feel in your heart instantly for someone. Someone you have never shared a conversation with. Someone who has done nothing to make you love them. But this is the way I felt the moment I saw my new neice, Kyleigh Grace Eller. She is a beautiful creation of God and I am already praying for her heart! I love her so much! I imagine this is how a mother feels on even a bigger scale!

She was born on January 26, 2011 and weighed 6 lbs 15 ounces and was 21 inches longs. She is in the top 75th percentile for her length. Crazy huh? Maybe she'll be the height of my brother ben? Whose to know? Heights do come in the family genes. haha.

Anyways, I was very lucky to get to take off of work for a day and spend a long weekend with my family and holding her. It blows my mind how hours can pass and you don't even know it. And all you've been doing is holding and looking at a baby. Not sure why it's so fascinating. haha. But she is a very cute baby!

Here are some pictures:

Amelia Bedelia and Me.

2011-01-20T12:08:00.004-05:00

Growing up I loved to read Amelia Bedelia. I am shocked by how many people have not heard of these books. MAN, you really are missing out. They are so cute.

Maybe the reason I love Amelia Bedelia so much is because I can relate to her. If I had to pick a character out of a book that was most like me she just might be it. haha.

If you aren't familiar with her let me tell you who she is. Amelia Bedelia is a house keeper who has the best intentions. However, she ends up doing everything wrong. For Instance, in one of my favorite books of her she is given a list of things to complete while the home owners are away for the day.

This list includes things like:

1. Dress the turkey.
2. Draw the curtains

Amelia literally put the turkey in a cute little dress and bonnet. And then she proceeds to sit in front of the curtains and draw the most lovely picture of the windows and curtains. haha. Amelia takes everything literally.

I have found myself doing that over the years when people tell me to do things. Maybe not to the extreme Amelia does them though. haha.

I looked these books up on Amazon yesterday and read through one. They are only like 3 dollars each. They are for sure being added to my book collection one day when I have children.

What children's books are your favorite?

On a slightly different note but one that still makes me incredibly blonde like Amelia Bedelia, I have just learned two new important things in life:

1. Whenever I was going to pay for gas with cash at the gas station, I would sit there and literally try to count out the exact amount the gas costs. You guys know this is a challenge for me. I even asked once that the guy behind the counter help me with the math. This was due to the fact that I thought if you went over in how much you paid them, they got to keep the extra money. My friend just informed me the other day that if you over pay all you have to do is walk back in and get your change. MAN. That could've saved me a lot of trouble. I have given several gas stations extra money.

2. I just learned that Alaska is above California and Washington. Not above New York. I told Jonathan we should just drive up there sometime. HAHA. He was like,"That would take many many days." You know, I used to think you had to take a boat to get to Alaska. Then I learned it was attached to Canada and you can drive. Now I am learning it is on the opposite side of the United States than I thought it was. My friend Sarah Beth told me this isn't my fault because on every map they put Alaska in a little box like it's floating in the middle of nowhere. haha.

I agree with Sarah Beth. This is not my fault. ha.

Turning 24.

2011-01-18T11:16:00.006-05:00

Twenty Four. It doesn't seem that old, right? I think it kind of does to me. Mainly because once I reach 25 I am on the upward slope to 30. And then I will just keep ascending into this incline of oldness. haha. Is oldness even a word? Apparently it is, because spell checker isn't even correcting it with that little red squiggle.

My best friend told me, "Now that you are 24 we have to have a night of facials and makeovers". Hmm....does that mean that my age is starting to wear on me? In some ways I feel that way.

As I get older, my birthdays have been marked with things that remind me I am no longer a child. This year specifically. This year my birthday was full of people. Friends. Family. Co-workers. And a reminder that this is what matters the most in life. Relationships.

I have been given a husband who will cook a wonderful breakfast for me. Who knows all my favorite things. Who knows me. Someone who will drive thirty minutes to hang a happy birthday banner in a tree at my work place and have everyone stare at him like he's a freak just to make me smile on my birthday. One who will buy me gifts. But more importantly will remind me of his love all day long. And who more importantly will encourage me to do what's right. And remind me of what it looks like to be a loving and forgiving person.

I am blessed.

I have been blessed with a wonderful family. Who drove down to eat dinner with me for only an hour or so. So that they could celebrate my birthday with me. Who baked me a cake and brought me gifts. And not just on my birthday, but every day make me feel loved and appreciated. This is the kind of family who would do anything for me if I needed them to. The kind that would love me regardless of what I did to hurt them. The kind that is peaceful and full of love. The kind that taught me about christ and what really matters in life. The kind that has done so much for me I could never repay them.

I couldn't ask for a better family. God has blessed me beyond measure with them.

I have been blessed with an amazing group of friends. The kind of friends who would drop anything for me. The kind who will travel 9 hours to be there days early for my wedding. They will sweat and not worry about themselves getting ready for the wedding in order to help out. Friends who care about me enough to look me in the face and tell me when I'm wrong. The kind of friends who if I called them and said I was upset and needed them right then would drive to come see me any time, day or night. The kinds of friends who will get me tickets to Beauty in the Beast all the way in Atlanta and pay for all the expenses of the trip.

They are great. That's just what they did. For my birthday they drove with me down to Atlanta to watch a broadway show. They decorated the house in balloons and streamers and got me presents. They did way more than they ever should have. To show me that they care about me. I'm very undeserving.

When I got to work yesterday my co-workers had decorated my cubicle. They had baked me a birthday cake. Everyone wished me a happy birthday and stopped by to ask me what my plans were for the day and things like that. I am grateful to work at a place where people genuinely care about one another.

Most importantly, I have been blessed with a Savior. One who loved me and saved me from eternity in hell. There is nothing in me that should make Him do this. But He did it anyways. And is an example to me of how to live my life. A savior who brings hope into the worst of circumstances. Who makes it possible to truly live this life.

I am such a blessed person. I was reminded of that on my birthday.

As I get older and am no longer sheltered from the weight of this world and it's troubles, I realize this more and more. God has been very gracious on my life.

I have seen my family and friends hurting because of hardships coming into their lives. People on the verge of losing husband's to cancer that they just married. Families in danger of losing a father at such a young age it breaks my heart. And this has all reminded me, especially on my birthday, that I have been given the greatest gifts in the world. I should not take them for granted. And I should live life to the fullest.

Gifts don't matter. They do fade or go out of style. They fall apart and break. Relationships matter. And I have been given some amazing relationships.

So on my 24th birthday I was reminded of relationships. And how they are not always a guarantee. So I should not take them for granted. And how grateful I am for all the relationships in my life. God has blessed me. This birthday was a little sad in some ways, thinking about reality. But it was also a wonderful reminder.

Boyfriends, Ball Point Pens, and Colonscopes!

2011-01-14T15:17:00.003-05:00

I remember it like it was yesterday. I remember how embarrassing it all was. Being a stranger in a foreign country. Struggling to communicate. Struggling to understand.

We were sitting at the concrete table in the orphanage yard. The kids were playing with whatever they could find: a stick, a can, a string, even a bird. One of the fellow workers had just said it out loud. And I was sitting there perplexed.

"Can I borrow your boyfriend?"

HUH???? BORROW HIM? Well, he's in America. I don't think so. "What?"

"Can I borrow your boyfriend?"

I guess I'm going to have to get more direct. "NO. I mean, he's all the way in America. What do you mean borrow him?"

This was followed by loud laughter and pointing. "Can I borrow your boyfriend". Finally Cameron helped me out of this situation (true friends would've helped sooner. haha. JUST KIDDING) ,"Jessica, he wants to borrow your ballpoint pen".

"OH. SURE".

Every moment in a foreign country is lived like this if you can't speak the language and they are attempting to speak english. Accents make it very hard to understand what someone is saying. I forgot how humiliating it all is. Until yesterday, when I relived this very scenario to a much bigger degree.

"Thank you for calling backup care advantage this is Jessica, how can I help you?"

"yes, I need vietnamese now."

"HUH"

I'll spare you the entire conversation. I realized the guy needed someone who could speak Vietnamese with him. HMM...I think we are a little short on those in our office. And in the Colorado office. I'm pretty sure those in the UK would be lost as well.

That's when I find out that we have a language line. A line you can call to get a translator on the phone. No one in my office had used it. So they handed me a piece of paper which I read quickly. I was still lost.

The First go round:

I gave them a call told them I needed a Vietnamese translator. I was told they were on the line so I begin with my normal spill.

I am STRUGGLING to communicate with this man. WHAT IS HAPPENING? I get frustrated and say,"Translator are you still on the line?" Dead silence. I'm pretty sure this isn't how this situation is supposed to play out. SO I have to put the poor man on hold again.

FINALLY, I conference call in a Vietnamese translator. So, I am speaking like I normally would but she is translating everything to him. he will then give his answer in Vietnamese and then she will translate back to me in English. This means everything takes twice as long.

I begin to register the man with our system. This takes a while. We have to know a lot of information. One of the pieces of information being their children's information (because we help people find care for their children). When I ask him the birth date of his child, he says he doesn't know and leaves the phone for five minutes. He comes back and says,"I think it's 1988". haha. OK?

SIDE NOTE: At this point everything they are saying to one another sounds like they are angry. I start wondering if they really are angry or if Vietnamese just sounds like an angry language?

This is when things start to click for me. This means his daughter is 22. Why would she need care? She's old enough to take care of herself. Maybe they do it differently in Vietnam?

I begin to ask him why he needs care for his 22 year old daughter?

The response was shocking. And imagine hearing a long diatribe in Vietnamese. Then the translator comes on (a woman),"I am not understanding why you are asking me about my daughter's birthday. I just need a colonoscope and was calling to see if it was covered?"

This is when all who know me will maybe be able to sympathize. I burst out laughing. I realize. THIS IS THE WORST POSSIBLE TIME TO LAUGH. What is wrong with me? Why couldn't I hold it in? This is so unprofessional. I'm two years old. Since when was a Colonoscope so hilarious? It's not. But I was laughing. The Translator didn't translate that. I guess it's universal.

I pulled myself together to tell the guy that he meant to get in touch with his health insurance to discuss this matter. I directed him to his HR department.

And then, I felt awful. Because I realize it must be really hard for him to figure things out if he can't speak english. The Poor guy just needs to stay healthy. And I realize just how hard it is to figure things out in a world where you can't speak the language. So I felt for him later. Especially that he wasted 45 minutes of his life on the phone with me for no reason.

I am angry at myself for laughing at all the worst possible moments. And this is definitely a pattern that has been consistent over my entire life. Something to work on.

By the end of the phone call I was literally sweating. Oh man. I didn't realize that this could even happen to me at this job. But next time I will be prepared. And it will probably, once again, take me back to my time in the Philippines. Where every day was this way.

Dust.: a beast of an enemy.

2011-01-10T17:53:00.005-05:00

This is going to be a very girly post. I will go ahead and apologize to any guys who might read. Including my husband. Although, he is required to listen to me even if I am saying something completely girly. He's the one that is not allowed to run in the other direction. haha. LUCKY!!! Right Jonathan?

For the past couple years of my life I have had issues with dusting. No one makes a good product. NO ONE. You end up dusting and there will be oil spots, streaks, things that dry leaving random puddles of things. I've always hated dusting. Because you have to move everything in order to do it. Only to have to put it back. But the thing I hate the most about dusting? It's greasy. It's nasty. And when you get done you have no satisfaction. You can be satisfied that the dust is gone (cause it is). But you are dissatisfied as well looking at all the random streaks and spots on your furniture. My poor husband. For the longest he would leave his books on his night stand. I would come along, dust, and put them back. Next time he went to pick up the pile he got oil all over his hands. I have tried :

1.

2.

3.

I have even just tried using a duster. NONE of it works.

But, don't be distraught thinking there is no answer. Because recently, I found this:

It's the answer to all of my dusting issues. Seriously. It comes out in a wonderful light mist. It doesn't leave things oily. It helps resist dust for a week. And it makes everything shiny and like new. I couldn't really ask for more. Now lets hope they don't take it off the market like all my other favorite things. haha.

Really, if you were an old woman like me you would realize how exciting this is. What's more exciting? I got my bottle for one dollar. Cause I had a coupon and it was doubles week at Harris Teeter. haha.

One more good thing: It is also anti-alerginic....meaning it won't make you sneeze. Which is an added plus because Jonathan is allergic to everything.

That still doesn't make up for all the money wasted on the most awful dusting products ever. But at least we are making progress.

Maybe you can benefit from all my knowledge? ha

A Recap of 2010!

2011-01-01T21:46:00.019-05:00

Now for a recap of the year 2010:

1. In January: I turned 23 and there was the biggest snow fall I have EVER seen.

2. In February: Mine and Jonathan's first nephew/neice was born: JONAH ZAVIER MELIN!

3. In March: My little sister turned 14. WOW! Still can’t believe it.

4. In April: I experienced my first Hurricanes Hockey game.

5. In May: Me and jonathan had our last date before we got married at the cutest little drive in. Jonathan moved into our new apartment!

6. In June: : I got married June 12th and then went on a honeymoon to Paris and Switzerland!!!! And it was my last month working at Chick Fil A.

7. In July: Jonathan finally turned 23. Haha. And I got to go on vacation with my family to Gatlinburg. I stared a new job at an eye doctor’s office as a technician.

8. In August: I saw Mary Poppins Broadway in Charlotte, NC with my girlfriends!

9. In September: Me and Jonathan went to Washington D.C. for the first time (well that, we could remember anyways). I got to visit Grace on the way back home at the IMB ranch in Virginia! Jonathan entered a drum competition and did an AWESOME job! HE made it past the first round and in my opinion, was jipped out of going farther. I lost my job at the eye doctor’s office. It was an eventful month.

10. In October: Me and Jonathan got our pumpkin from a pumpkin patch. Something I have never done before. And we carved it into the Eiffel Tower. We also had a Halloween party with our friends.

11. In November: On November 8th, I started my new job at Workplace Options. One of the best places I could work I believe. I also got to go home for the first time in five months for Thanksgiving! It was a wonderful visit!

12. In December: I had a White Elephant gift party with my friends at my apartment. An Ornament gift exchange party with some friends. Attempted to make cake balls (more complicated than it appears). And Me and Jonathan had quite an adventure getting our first tree together. My favorite thing though is that we went home for Christmas. It was a WHITE CHRISTMAS! I only wish we could see family more often!

It has been a good and eventful year! I imagine it will be hard for 2011 to beat 2010. I mean, afterall, I did GET MARRIED and go to Europe!! haha. But I am looking forward to it being a good year!

My New Year's Resolutions (which I have avoided making for the past couple years now):

1. Read through the entire bible again.

2. Memorize a chapter of of the Bible (haven't decided which one yet).

3. Work on one aspect of my personality that needs improvement.

4. Lose 5 pounds.

CHRISTMAS!

2010-12-28T17:58:00.003-05:00

The Real World. That is where I live my every day. The place where you realize you are a true grown up because you are going to go to work eight hours for five days out of the week. Where you realize you only get 12 days of vacation per year. The one where you only get a break every once in a while.

That is what it is to be grown up.

And so this Christmas was all the more wonderful to me because of this. Because starting a new job and working 40 hours a week can take a lot out of you. It was really nice to spend an entire week with my husband knowing I could see him all day if I wanted to. It was nice to finally see my family again. Because being eight hours away with a real job doesn't allow you to just go see them whenever you feel like it.

This Christmas break was much needed. It was wonderful. It will stick out in my mind for years to come because:

1. It was my first christmas being married and splitting the time between two families.

2. It was my first White Christmas.

3. I got snowed OUT of going back home and stayed in Atlanta an extra day. That's right, Raleigh got 8-10 inches of snow!

4. I appreciated the time with my family so much more than I have in years past because it is so precious to me since I don't really get to see them often.

5. I felt the Spirit near. I felt more focused on Christ and more grateful for all He has done. I am truly undeserving.

6. I met Jonathan's extended family that I have never met before.

Here are some Christmas pictures:

The Greatest Love Story

2010-12-21T20:57:00.004-05:00

I'm a sucker for a love story. It's my favorite genre of books and movies. Doesn't take much to reel me in. It's pretty sad. But I just love the thought of a white horse and a prince. And someone rescuing you from all saddness and hopelessness. haha.

Ok, so the older I've gotten the more I've realized how unrealistic this fantasy is. Don't *GASP* at me and think I am saying my husband is not amazing. To me he is prince charming. But he's only human. And fairy tales are not written about humans. The bad things is we let our kids watch Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty. And we think that the guy who comes along has to be PERFECT. It might be silly. But that's really what I thought. I was seriously looking for a PERFECT person to come along, sweep me off my feet, never make me angry, etc... And that just isn't going to ever happen.

Of course, there are many moments when my own romance has taken my breath away or given me the "warn fuzzies".

But, no matter how hard Jonathan tries to be my Knight and Shining armor, he will never achieve perfection. Us humans are incapable.

My point? There is a love story that this year has literally given me warm fuzzies all over. And it has brought a smile to my face. And it has made me realize I have a Knight in Shining Armor. A perfect love. Hope when there is none anywhere else. And that is something that no one else can give me.

I realize I may sound cliche' or cheesy. But I really don't care. Seriously. When I was reading the Christmas story tonight it gave me chills. It made me smile. It is a warm and fuzzy story. It ends well. There is no heart break for me in it. Only Hope. Peace. Joy. Love. It's a wonderful story.

I hope it won't just be a story that we look at for what it can give to us though. I hope it motivates us to live for the One who deserves the deepest admiration we can muster.

And I hope you will let it take your breath away.

More importantly, I hope we will allow it to change our lives, the way we conduct every day.

Luke 2
The Birth of Jesus
1 In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. 2 (This was the first census that took place while[a] Quirinius was governor of Syria.) 3 And everyone went to their own town to register.

4 So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. 5 He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. 6 While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, 7 and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.

8 And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. 9 An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10 But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. 11 Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. 12 This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

13 Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

14 “Glory to God in the highest heaven,
and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

15 When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

16 So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. 17 When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, 18 and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. 19 But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. 20 The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

Childhood dreams.

2010-12-13T15:02:00.003-05:00

When I was growing up, like any other kid, I dreamed about what I wanted to do with my life. Funny how magical that seemed. Having a career. haha. Oooh, ahh. It really isn't magical, is it? Unlike most kids, I would become obsessed with certain ideas and preparing myself to do the most amazing job at them. I mean, my childhood definitely speaks to the fact that I gave up on things EASILY. Good to know it's something you can grow out of. ha. Here are the top things I wanted to do when I got older:

1. Be an Archaeologist. I wanted to explore the desert and find dinosaur bones and cool trinkets. haha. I would go in the yard and dig until I found "treasure". This led me to some how acquiring a metal detector from a friend and collecting all sorts of rings. Two of these random rings ended up on my ring bearer's pillow at my wedding. Just a little reminder of where I came from. haha.

2. A Ventriloquist. I used to want to do this SO BAD. I actually got a Ventriloquist doll from my nanny one christmas. It was Howdy Doody. Anyone remember him? Probably not. He's not even from my time. Anyways, one of my friends told me a scary story involving a doll coming to life. And I would never touch the doll or go in my room again until my mom got rid of it. There went that dream. Thanks to a friend I am now not following my dreams. haha.

3. A Magician. And so I got a magician kit for Christmas one year. And I would do all these awesome tricks (really they were about as lame as Jonathan's card tricks. ha). But, hey, not everyone is a good magician. I eventually gave that dream up when I realized no one was fooled by my tricks.

4. A singer. I wanted to move to Nashville and go to college there. All while trying to get a record deal.

It's funny the things we want to do growing up isn't it? Then God comes along and shows us how silly we are. And He molds our hearts to follow after what HE designed for us to do. And I am very thankful he called me to the mission field. All the other things seem even sillier when I consider where I am headed now.

God spoke to me during the service yesterday to this end. And reminded me of how important this call on my life really is. I have been kind of discouraged lately. Because of health issues in the family. Circumstances that don't make sense. And hard, hard things that I know friends of mine or my families are going through. And it's hard for me lately to not be emotional about it and wonder why God would do such a thing. J.D. Greear yesterday said he met a girl who claimed she believed in God but just didn't like him. She said he wasn't fair. Why would He allow everyone to suffer so much when He had all the power in the universe to stop it? And so this girl had decided God was her enemy. He wasn't for her. But he was against her. And I sat there in church thinking about how I sometimes don't understand God. But I don't want to head down the road of not liking him because my brain doesn't get it.

In the pew (well, really we sit in chairs...don't judge) I wanted to cry. Thinking about how unfair God seemed to be lately. And God spoke to me. He reminded me that HIS purposes are the main goal. That everything exists for His glory. And that it may seem cruel to allow the world to suffer in sin, disease and death. However, God doesn't find joy in these things. He is saddened just as much, if not more, by them than I am. See, He didn't want things to be like this. He designed them to be better. But we messed it up. And now the affects of sin an death are everywhere. But God also spoke to me saying even though it seems wrong to leave the world in suffering, he is actually being gracious? HOW, do you ask? Because He is giving people the chance to come to know him EVERY DAY! The longer he allows things to go on (no matter how crappy they are) HE allows His name to be proclaimed. And He is being gracious allowing people to not spend an eternity in hell. And that is a BIG DEAL! Therefore, we should be proclaiming His name. Allowing the world to not just continue in sin and suffering. But to hold out ultimate hope and joy. I don't know if that makes sense. But it was a big comfort to be reminded that while God is allowing some things, He has ulitmately conquered them and will come back again one day to show that so. But, he is also allowing suffering to continue so he can be gracious in other ways. Does that make sense? God articulated it better to my heart than I am articulating it now.

And so, I go on with hope. Realizing that my job is to proclaim Him to the world. To hold out his hope. And THIS is what I am going to do with the rest of my life. So forget the silly dreams I had when I was growing up that had nothing to do with God's purposes.

Thanksgiving!

2010-11-29T15:13:00.006-05:00

Me and Jonathan made our first trip home since being married. I know, it's been too long. We've been married for almost six months now. It was a much needed trip. Though it went by WAY too quickly.

Some of the main events:

1. Molly got us all to play "Minute to Win it". It was pretty intense. Not to mention, hilarious. That kid cracks me up.

2. I ate more than I ever have in the span of just three days and completely reversed all the hard work I had accomplished on my diet. My own fault. But it's hard when you NEVER get your momma's cooking! Perhaps it was worth it!

3. We got out on Black Friday and I saved hundreds (I'm not exaggerating) on gifts. NICE! We weren't crazy enough to get out at the crack of dawn though. We were more sane and waited till nine. haha.

4. Me and Jonathan decorated three Christmas trees within a weeks time. We did one for us and with both of our families. I love Christmas so much though that this is GREAT to me!

5. My family does crafts every year and I made some ornaments for people for christmas as well as a gingerbread house. It was fun.

6. We made our annual black friday steak n shake dinner outing. LOVE that place!

7. It was my first thanksgiving with Jonathan's family and I spent a lot of time with my little nephew Jonah. He's such a cutie!

8. I played "name that show" with the Melin family. And of course, I lost miserably. They watched more tv than I did growing up, what can I say?

9. Added an hour and a half onto our trip time home. We left at seven and thought we would miss the big crowd. But we got stuck in traffic a lot. Every time we made it to see what the problem was it was just a car all the way on the shoulder with their emergency lights blinking. This same scenario happened three times. I was SO MAD! Ha.

It was easy to find things to be thankful for this year. Not that it is ever hard. I have a wonderful life. But, some years you just feel more thankful than others. I have been guilty in the past of not focusing on what I was thankful for. As I am sure anyone has been.

This year I am especially thankful for God's provision. When you first start out (as many of you probably know) in a marriage you don't have much income. We started out with very little since I was working at Chick Fil A and Jonathan was working at a golf course and Pizza Hut. Then I got a better job and it was taken away within six weeks. Then I spent 9 weeks looking for a new place of employment. So we have already had our share of scary times financially where we weren't sure what was going to happen next. And you know what? God never left us hungry or unable to pay our bills. We always had what we needed. Sometimes not much more than that. But, it was a big lesson in how God takes care of all of our needs. Even when we are freaking out thinking there is no way he can take care of them. He always does. And so I am incredibly thankful for God as my provider.

Secondly, I am incredibly thankful for my family. I am thankful for a husband who challenges me to be a better person most every day. I am thankful for the family I grew up in. I realize more every year how rare of a home I came from. And I couldn't be more thankful for amazing parents and siblings. I am truly blessed.

Thirdly, I am thankful for a God that brings peace and joy every day. Regardless of what is happening in my life God is steady and sure. Qualities I would love to possess and I know I can have since He is the one I am leaning on and He has those qualities. I realized a verse last night in a new way: "Be anxious about nothing, but in everything by prayer and petition present your requests to God. And the peace of God that passes all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus". This could be a paraphrase because it's coming straight from my brain. But, it just hit me: God promises to guard the very things that make us anxious and unsure: our hearts and minds. He simply asks that present our needs to him. That means He WANTS us to voice our needs. And secondly, that means when we voice them he won't just leave us out in the dark. He will help us. What a loving God we serve! So thankful for that kind of God. So personal. So different from the gods that other religions serve.

I have a lot to be thankful for. In the midst of hard times and good times.

It was wonderful being with my family and Jonathan's family this past week! SO glad this time I get to see them again in just three weeks time. Here are some pictures of this past week:

Christmas, Christmas, it is here! It only happens once a year!!!

2010-11-22T00:52:00.009-05:00

Christmas time is ALMOST here. And because of my new hours at work (training is over and my hours are 1:30-10 PM) and our trip home for the holidays, we figured it was better to decorate for Christmas now rather than later. Or else it would be MUCH later. And we want to enjoy our Christmas decorations as long as possible. So, I convinced Jonathan to break his rule of "no christmas before thanksgiving" and we decided today would be our Christmas decorating day.

Over the last year I have accumulated things for Christmas. THanks to my mom's craftiness I had several ornaments and cute decorations to start with. Not to mention I love Christmas so much I started buying ornaments on sale last year so me and Jonathan would have some now. I got a couple of things at a dollar store here and town. So we were ready to go!

If anyone knows Jonathan, you know that he is a pretty laid back person. He just kind of does whatever. Since I am a girl, I am always having some type of craving, opinion, or idea of what I want to do. Jonathan rarely ever makes a request. In fact, I can't think of one request he has made in the last five months of our marriage. EXCEPT for today. He requested that we get a fraser fir Christmas tree. That is the kind his family always had and he said it smelled like Christmas to him. This narrowed down our options GREATLY as to where we could get our tree (most places aren't even open yet). However, I decided since he NEVER makes a request, I should give him this one :) ha.

We SEARCHED forever for a place to get a tree. We wanted to go to a farm. But the only ones that were open didn't have Fraser Firs yet. So we decided to settle for a lot. We looked one up and found one that was open. So we headed 40 minutes down the road. But when we got there the lot was empty. We were annoyed but nothing could break our christmas spirit. So we hopped back in the car. On our way down to the lot, we had seen a cute little Boy Scout sign for Christmas trees. I told Jonathan since he used to be a boy scout (and since I also turn down the boy scouts trying to sell me popcorn kernels every time we go to wal mart) that we should buy it from them. We pulled up to the church and there were no cute little boy scouts in their nerdy uniforms. haha. So we got BACK in the car and headed to Lowe's. Turns out, it was probably a good thing everything else was closed. Because my car isn't ideal for Christmas tree transport. We drove at a snails pace all the way home! But, we got our Christmas tree home finally. And, what is life without a good story to tell? Our first christmas celebration had it's rough patches when looking for the tree. Thank goodness nothing can bring me down when it's Christmas.

One thing today did: remind me, YET AGAIN, how different me and Jonathan are. It's a good thing though. We got our tree home and Jonathan spent an hour making sure it was dead center of the tree stand. haha. I couldn't have cared less. PUt it in crooked for all I care! Lol. Anyways, it was really funny watching him haul it up the stairs. WE broke some of our blinds by accident. But it gave me a good laugh. It took a while to decorate but everything looks great now that we are done! Jonathan also tweaked everything in the room until it was perfectly straight. ha. SO not only do we have Christmas decorations, but our Christmas decorations are symmetrical and straight.

I LOVE the smell of Christmas in the house. I can't feel like it's Christmas without being around a decorated tree every day. And it was fun to start our own traditions with our own ornaments and things. Here's to making things our own! I know turning the lights on will make waking up early a little easier in the morning since I can now sit in the living room and eat breakfast and enjoy the lights.

It was all in all a very good start to a VERY good week. In just two days time I will be headed to Chattanooga to see my family! I am READY to be home again! Couldn't be more excited!!!

Here are some pictures of our decorations:

To Shine Like the Stars in the Universe!

2010-11-14T15:52:00.005-05:00

Our relationship started just like anyone else's does. With a conversation. It was a pretty normal conversation. Nothing elaborate happened. I commented on all of the pictures lining her cubicle of her two little dogs. One sat in a chair with his paw on the table with a freakishly human grin spreading across his face. Laying in front of him was a birthday cake with the number five on top. Another picture was of her dog in a cast. He was lying on his back and he didn't look happy. Clearly she loved her dogs. I watched everything she did. But I was told to. I was in training, afterall. I watched her share her snack drawer with practically everyone in the office. I watched as she dropped everything she was doing when someone asked her a question or asked for her help. Her words were sprinkled with profanity here and there as she got angry about something. But she was one of the nicest people I have ever met. She cared.

Then there was another girl that just sat a couple chairs away from her. Her bright shirt and spirit brightened up the drab office. She smiled. And she helped explain things to me. As we sat there she began discussing how she was anxious. I asked why. Her reply was that she wasn't sure. And that it happened often. She felt as if she were on the verge of a panic attack. She stopped to catch her breath for a minute and then continued on with her work. All through our time together though, she was very kind and helpful.

Still again there was a man sitting a bit away from her. He was very passionate about gay rights. He also began to talk about how he wasn't sure what it was, but there was just something rewarding about doing "right". He said it just makes life better. Hmm....and so it does, because that is exactly how we were created. This man was also very generous and caring.

Everyday I get in the car and drive to a normal american job. I sit in a cubicle next to all of these people. And, I am one of five christians in the entire building. I get the chance to have conversations with these people. They need Jesus. They are beautiful unique individuals. Some of them seem to already be voicing thoughts that could lead to a spiritual conversation. They seem to have questions and thoughts I have the answer to.

These co-workers amaze me with how much they care. It's actually embarassing to me. Because I have been in the Christian bubble my entire life. And they love me better than most christians I know love others. I am constantly being talked to. "Hi, Jessica. How are you doing? Do you think you're adjusting ok? Can I help you?" "Jessica, let me know if you need something. I will be here whenever you call on me."
This is the same office that is letting me off for thanksgiving and christmas when I have only been working there a week.
It's sad. The contrast. THe office I just came from and this one. The last office was a "christian office" and I felt so judged and mistreated. And here I am among people who don't know what love is truly all about, and I feel more loved and accepted. I see them giving more and loving better than christians are.

I am saddened by this fact. As christians we are to be recognized by our love. That's how God says we are recognized. We are to out shine in the love department.

So, I ask that you guys will join me in two things:

1. Praying that I will be COURAGEOUS and speak to these co-workers about Jesus. Because they really need Him. But not just that, pray that I will know when to talk about Jesus and when to just listen. I want these people to know I am there not just to bang them over their heads with a bible and tell them Jesus is the only way. I want them to feel Christ living through me. I want to be light in a place of darkness. And it's a struggle to know exactly how to do that.

Because:

FIrst of all, the VP of the company just bought a booth for a hefty price at a gay rights rally. And I know that I have to be careful what I say and how I say it. While all the time being bold and not giving the impression I am ok with all these things they do.

2. That as Christians we will be determined to love better. That we will step out and shine so bright in a dark world. We should be the generous ones. We should be the ones willing to help others. We should be selfless and put others before ourselves. The world needs to see that we are different. And if we are no better than anyone else...then what?

I ask that you join me in reaching others wherever you are: home, work, or on the mission field.

Let Him Catch You.

2010-11-07T20:20:00.005-05:00

I watched his little legs as he climbed up the incline. To him, the incline looked more like a mountain. To me, being four feet taller than him, it seemed really small. But as he stepped onto the grass to climb up the steep hill he looked back at me with a mischievous grin on his face. The sparkle in his little blue eyes told it all. He was on an adventure. And he wasn't at all scared. When he made it to the top he turned to look at me. And with the same daring smile on his face and twinkle in his eye he ran down the hill as fast as his legs would carry him. He made it almost to the bottom and then tripped, but I reached out my arms to catch him and twirled him around. When I set him back down, he giggled once and then repeated the whole scene. Every time he repeated the scene he almost tripped and fell. ANd he would've been hurt had I not been there to catch him. We did this about twenty times before he got bored and moved onto throwing his toy car as far as his little arms would let him.

I have spent my last five weeks with an adorable two-year-old boy. Looking into these beautiful blue eyes the past five weeks has been wonderful. And they have reminded me of so many important things. I used to be that daring too when I was a child. I used to look at the world that way too. It was one big adventure and I wasn't scared. And that's EXACTLY what God calls us to do in following Him.

So where does that spirit disappear to? I understand so much when I spend time with children why God tells us we must come as a child. How many times has God asked me to climb a hill and I have been terrified. I was scared that if I tripped he wouldn't reach out and catch me. But he always, ALWAYS does. He is always there for me.

We are going through a series at church right now called " In Search of a King". It is all about the life of David. But it isn't your typical study. We opened with how God never intended for Israel to have a king to rule over them. But they looked at the neighboring countries and wanted to be like the rest of the world. So they pushed and pushed until God gave them what they wanted. Out of this they were taught the lesson that no one is perfect and only God can be the kind of King they were demanding.

This week we discussed how David was an ordinary person. It was God working through him that made him look extraordinary. The sermon was about how God called David to be king but then left him in the pasture. It was there God taught him humility, patience, trust, etc... See, God had to prepare David for something better. He had to prepare David to realize that this whole kingship was about God's glory and not about his own.

And this series has convicted me so much. God has orchestrated my life so beautifully (and painfully in some ways) lately to teach me so many lessons. And it's incredible how two things that are virtually unrelated (the sermon series and my babysitting) can be weaved together so well to teach me all the lessons God wants me to learn. At first it seemed so odd to me, but now it makes perfect sense.

Being with this child has taught me how life is an adventure. When we become a Christian we die to ourself and THANK GOD that He calls us to something unpredictable and BIG. It's beyond our human understanding. Sometimes what God does in our lives makes no sense. And it drives me mad sometimes. But then I realize that God wouldn't be God if I could explain everything about Him. If He were just like me, then why would I want to follow Him? Just look around you. I mean, the things I see God calling people to are really crazy sometimes. But, that's the point. God demands faith on our part. And when we step out and do something adventurous for His glory and not our own, something amazing always comes out of it!

Not only that, but God has completely shown me my lack of trust in him. He asked me to trust Him to catch me. And I didn't. I wanted to take care of myself. And I realize God has had me in this time in my life to remind me of some important things. I needed to prioritize differently. I needed to be reminded of the important things in life. I needed to trust Him. I needed to realize that He could see far more than I could. I am just like Israel demanding God give me a King when it is HIM he wants to give me.

And, so now as God has provided me this new job, I still want to remember the lessons he has burned into my heart. I want to climb up the hill and run back down as fast as I can, because I know He will catch me. But this time, I want to do things differently. I want to rely on God. This is God's adventure that He wants to work out through me. I just simply must step out in obedience.

ANd it really is silly now that I have gotten to the end that I never trusted Him in the first place. He has blown my mind with providing this amazing job. It's better than the last one. My God is so good.

May we live our Christian life like a child, with adventure twinkling in our eyes and a great smile on our face. Because we KNOW God is about to do something amazing. Whatever it is. Even if it doesn't make sense. He is always waiting to blow our minds. Because that is just who He is!

When God Breaks You.

2010-10-16T10:53:00.003-04:00

Paul says in Philippians 4:11: "for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am in". Ok, so he had to LEARN to be content.

It took effort. It didn't come naturally. It was a process.

I feel like maybe that's the same process God has me in right now? I'm not really sure. But I definitely feel like me and God have wrestled a lot lately. With hopes/dream. WIth ideas/concepts. I don't think it's wrong to have times where you do this. But it definitely makes me feel like I am a horrible Christian.

Ever since I lost my job over a month ago I have struggled. I have struggled to find out the answer to all the "why" questions. But they don't come. And, I just pray that hopefully down the road, Soon, God will answer those questions for me.

But more importantly I pray that even if he does not, I still trust Him and lean on Him.

I find that the best thing to do when things don't make sense is to remind myself of truth. Otherwise, how can I possibly survive all of this?

Money is probably the BIGGEST area where I struggle to let go. It causes me the most worry. The most panic. The most anxiety. I hate how I have felt the longer I have gone without getting pay checks.

But God has taught me some important lessons still:

1. Humility. I think that's the biggest one. It has humbled me to remember that I rely on God for everything. That everything I have is His and not my own. Not to mention I have had to do things that I would rather not do in the process. That have cost me a lot of my pride. And, it has been pretty painful.

2. Trust. Every morning I get up and read my Bible. And my trust is renewed. Just being reminded of God's promises and truths. But then I get to the middle of the day and this is shattered. Completely. And I am thankful his mercy is new every morning to meet me in my struggle to trust my God who I know has already proven himself. It's my issue. I'm the one who struggles with doubt when I shouldn't.

3. He is the one who gets the justice on my behalf. I think over my last job. And I get bitter at the way the situation was handled. I get angry when I think of all the people still working there. And how I am sitting here without a job still while their lives get to go on. How their choice only affected them for maybe a day. And their choice has affected me every day for over a month now. I get angry and bitter. And I want revenge. I want to tell them what they did to me. I want to make it right. I want to make them feel guilty. But God has reminded me every time I feel that way that HE is the one that gets Justice. He will be the one who judges those who have wronged me. It's his place to make it right. It's my place to represent Him in all I do. And I wouldn't be representing Him if I "got even" with someone.

4. Contentment. Just like the verse above states. God is teaching me, just like he taught Paul how to be content in all circumstances. And He is reminding me of how much He has richly blessed my life. And I really have no right to be angry when He has been so gracious and loving. I should hold onto joy.

The Pain I have felt lately is oddly familiar. It's the pain of being broken, shattered and put back together to look more like Christ. It's the same pain I felt when I first went off to college. When my world was totally different and I was learning to live with others in a real way. God showed me all the ugly parts of myself that needed to change. And it was HARD to face. It was hard to swallow. And I feel the same way now as I did then.

And so I know God has used this immense pain lately to show me important things about myself. The pain is still fresh. But I know that as the wound heals it will make me into a better person in Christ. And that's what I am praying for. That in the end I will stand stronger for Christ than I did before this all happened. That I will better represent my Lord and Savior. That He will be glorified and I will be put back together as more like my Lord than I was before this happened.

So to close all of this I want to share a story that I read a few days ago. And it really touched my heart. I was given a devotion book called "Voices of the Faithful" and it is by Beth Moore. It's a compilation of letters from missionaries. They talk about their struggles on the field and how God showed his faithfulness to them. They are encouraging. And I find I can relate to them well. Not to mention, they remind me to be thinking about and praying for those on the field daily.

This story is an insert from that book and it really broke me:

HIS PRESENCE THROUGH PAIN

"When I am weak, then I am strong" 2 Corinthians 12:10b

Midnight approached as I waited beside the hospital bed of my 17-year-old-daughter. As Hilary lay motionless, images appeared of an overturned motor scooter, her unconscious body, a missionary friend searching for a pulse amid pools of blood.

Fortunately, HIlary couldn't remember the accident as she lay immobilized in cervical spine traction. The night before, she'd slept soundly from the exhaustion of the four-hour ambulance ride. Tonight, however, she remained awake from the excruciating pain.

Waiting for the pain medication, I stroked her hair and stared at the contraption immobilizing her upper body. Aptly named Gardner-Wells tongs, it was fixed against her skull by two metal pins inserted through her clean-shaven temples. The pins connected to a horseshoe-shaped bar arching over the top of her head. A 15-pound weight hung from the crown of the device, pulling against her skull and straightening her vertebrate.

"I can't do this, Mom", she whispered weakly. "Please take it off." We cried together, but I knew that removing the traction would not bring lasting relief. What she needed was strength to endure.

As we prayed, God did not bring Hilary immediate freedom from pain. Instead, the pain became the path by which He drew near. Our faith was enlarged, knowing that His presence is available each day. His power transforms us, resulting in greater change than merely removing unpleasant circumstances. Faith grows as we draw near to Him. Sometimes, only tears can cleanse our eyes enough for us to notice.

-K.P., East Asia

Father, sometimes I don't understand why you allow pain in the lives of your children, but I trust you to enlarge my faith and to transform me with your power and comfort. Give me the strength to notice your purpose in unpleasant circumstances.Amen.

The First Sign of Fall....

2010-10-10T15:56:00.012-04:00

Growing up, my family had a lot of traditions. One of my favorite was, every Christmas we would go to a Christmas tree farm to pick out a Christmas tree and bring it home. We have had many interesting experiences doing that. My family also carved a pumpkin every year.

This year, me and Jonathan decided to combine the two traditions. For the past three years me and Jonathan have always carved a pumpkin together. We usually just get the pumpkin at Wal-Mart or Target (which apparently, I found out, jack their prices up). This year we decided to go to a pumpkin patch to get our pumpkin. It is cheaper and more festive. And we looked through hundreds of pumpkins to settle on the perfect one. haha.

Here is the sequence of our pumpkins from years past:

Year # 1: Jonathan insisted that he carve half the face of the pumpkin and I finish it without knowing what the other side looked like. Let me just say, that was one messed up looking pumpkin. Too bad I don't have pictures of this one.

Year # 2: I got the most awesome "turn your pumpkin into mr. potato head" kit at Wal-Mart. It looks like it didn't take any time. But trust me, it's not easy to push flimsy plastic into the side of a hard pumpkin. We didn't think to poke holes into it beforehand until half way through the process. Here is the evidence of that year:

Year # 3: We decided to carve a pumpkin for one another and then switch. I carved Jonathan this awesome owl pumpkin. He carved me a pumpkin with the cutest little face ever. Take a look:

Year # 4 (a.ka. THIS year, and our first year of marriage): We decided to commemorate the year by making our pumpkin into the Eiffel Tower since we went to France for our honey moon. Here are pictures of the pumpkin patch, us carving, and the finished product:

Now compare it to the real thing:

I think we did good :) haha.

Home Sweet Home

2010-10-08T13:30:00.003-04:00

So, I am pretty sure I promised everyone pictures of my apartment. In fact, I said I would upload a video. I did video tape the apartment, however, I can't get it to upload to blogger. I guess everyone will have to settle for pictures (which don't really give the full idea). But it has taken a while to get everything settled and finished. But we have everything put together for the most part.

Here are the pictures! Enjoy!

Opposites Attract

2010-09-28T13:08:00.006-04:00

Everyone has heard the phrase "Opposites Attract". I may not have really believed it until I fell in love with Jonathan. We are almost as opposite as two people get. Before we got married I noticed it. But I notice it even more now that we are married.

Since Jonathan is pursuing a Linguisitcs Degree at Southeastern (he is wanting to do Bible translation in the future) it has kind of changed our atmosphere around the house. Here are just a couple of examples:

1. One morning recently I was standing in the bathroom brushing my teeth. It was first thing in the morning. My brain doesn't operate then. Nor do I like to communicate with others. Jonathan comes in with a smile on his face. As if he has just discovered something amazing. He starts asking, "Have you ever thought about the letter 'C' before? We don't really need it. It makes the same sound as the letter 'K' and the letter 'S' but it doesn't make it's own sound. It's useless." Of course I couldn't respond because I was brushing my teeth. But I couldn't really come up with a response anyways. Because my brain doesn't even operate like this. Pondering things like the sounds that letters make. It really never comes into play in my daily routine.

2. This scenario has happened multiple times lately where I am standing in another room. I can hear Jonathan murmuring to himself. The first time this happened I was a little concerned, "Has my husband starting talking to himself?" That's never a good sign. So I walk into the other room, "What are you doing?" I ask. He replies, "I'm practicing the phonetic alphabet for class". Ok then, I now have a husband who murmurs to himself. haha.

3. Yesterday we are sitting on the couch. I tell Jonathan that I like the new Pepsi Max because it actually tastes more like the real product than most diet drinks. Jonathan's response? "Have you ever thought about why Coke is more popular world wide than Pepsi?" "Not really" is my response. He says,"Well, because not many other languages have that 'P' 'S' sound. It's hard for them to make. But coke is easier for everyone to say. Because most every language has that sound".

And these, are just a couple from a long list of examples I could give. These examples not only show the kinds of conversations we will have for the next 70 years. But they also show just how different we are.

Since I met Jonathan I have definitely been able to see clearly that God is calling him to bible translation. He is amazing at picking up other languages, studying the bible, etc... All the things it takes to be geared towards bible translation, Jonathan possesses those traits. I can even see this in the things that fascinate him. Which, by the way, are most of the time opposite of the things that fascinate me. He has always been interested in things that I look at and go,"What in the world?". But then I think again and I am like,"That's exactly why he is going to be good at translating the Bible".

This comes into play in more than just our conversations. For instance, when we were on our honeymoon in Europe, the kinds of things he cared about were NOT the same thing as me. He was always concerned with taking a picture of something and it being in the EXACT middle of the picture. He also wanted me to see things for the first time looking at it dead center. I could've cared less if I was looking at something centered or uncentered. He cared about how a building was designed. I just liked it cause it was pretty. He wanted to climb every building in the city to see the different "views" of the city. Then he wanted to decide which one was best. I thought if you'd seen one view you'd pretty much seen 'em all. haha.

So, how do we get by when everything I talk about doesn't interest him and vice versa? I gotta be honest. At times I have no clue how our relationship works out.

But, then I am reminded of all the reasons he completes me and makes me more balanced of a person. Here are just a few examples:

1. Jonathan rarely gets stressed out. Even when big things happen in life. Somehow he remains pretty unphased. Me, on the other hand, I kind of stress out and worry too much. ANd that really isn't on his radar screen.

So we balance one another out. At times he should be a little more concerned about a situation than he is. And I remind him of that. And at other times I just simply need to calm down. And he reminds me of that.

2. Jonathan is (overall) an insensitive person. And I am incredibly sensitive.

It's good that when we are faced with a conversation where someone needs a person to empathize, I can step up in his place and be sympathetic. Because that usually isn't an easy thing for him to do. And, honestly, sometimes I can be overly sensitive. And I need him to remind me that I'm acting like an emotional basket case.

3. Jonathan likes to just go for things. I like to sit around and analyze them forever and finally make a decision.

We both need one another. Sometimes I need to be reminded that I have thought it through pretty thoroughly and I need to act on the wisest option. Sometimes he needs to be reminded to sit back and think about a situation more.

4. Jonathan is pretty even kill. I am moody.

5. Jonathan is task oriented. I am more relational.

I suppose this is really a guy/girl thing. But, I think it's good that we can balance one another out in this way. We are both going to need each other when it comes to ministry in this way. Both are very important to remember.

It's funny to look at these differences (and I could've listed more). But these examples always remind me of why it's good that we have one another. Opposites really do attract. And most of the time it's a really good thing. I know it is for us.

In Comes Fall...

2010-09-10T17:14:00.006-04:00

The past couple of days have been absolutely beautiful. The skies have been a perfect blue with no clouds in sight. I have wanted to go mad at times stuck inside filling out application after application. It's strange how just getting outside and taking a walk can just make me feel SO much better! Nature can do that for you! And lately, not only has it been so magnificently blue outside, but it has also felt like fall. And I LOVE it. It's weird how a slight breeze in the air and the way the sky looks can make you realize fall is here. And we haven't even reached the most amazing parts of fall yet.

Here are my most favorite things that, in my world, make fall so wonderful:

1. Apple Cider

2: Corn Mazes

3. Jumping in leaves (one of my favorite memories from childhood).

4: Chili. YUM.

5: Carving pumpkins!!!

6: Pumpkin Bread. Haven't tried it? YOU MUST!

7: Hay Rides.

8:Corn Bread.

9: Adorable babies in cute little costumes.

10: Bonfires (with Smores of course)

11. The leaves changing into brilliant colors.

So go on out there and enjoy yourself some fall!!! It's got so many great things coming!

Beating all Odds.

2010-09-08T13:54:00.003-04:00

You know the movies where it's the end of the world (i.e. I am Legend, Book of Eli, and 2012) and the main characters never seem to die? You could have a scene where a 10,000 pound meteor could fall out of the sky and fall on them and somehow they would make it. Heros/main characters in movies seem to bounce back from practically anything. And even when every single person that is around them gets killed they somehow manage to defy all odds and survive. Well, I can't lie. Isn't that what we all wish for? If we were in that same scene wouldn't we want to be the one defying all odds and somehow staying alive? Of course!

Well it dawned on me today as I was reading my Bible. We are that person. In Christ, we are defying all odds. I have been discouraged lately with my recent job loss. And I have been trying so very hard to just trust God. It's hard. In all honestly, it just isn't easy. When things you deem necessary are taken away from you for no (apparent) reason, you want to give up. I have found myself wanting to give up. I have found myself wanting to stop trusting. I have found in myself the worst possible reactions.

But God has been faithful. And every time I reach for my Bible and read a planned reading schedule it was as if God was speaking to my very circumstance.

Here are some examples:

Psalm 138:7& 8: "If I walk in the thick of danger, you will preserve my life from the anger of my enemies. You will extend your hand; Your right hand will save me. The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me. Love, your love is eternal; do nto abandon the work of your hands"

Psalm 91: "The one who lives under the protection of the Most High dwells in the shadow of the almighty. I will say to the Lord,'My refuge and my fortress. My god, in whom I trust.' He himself will deliver you from the hunter's net, from the destructive plague."

Isaiah 40: Do you not know? Have you not heard the Lord is the everlasting God. The Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary. And his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the wear, and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and your men stumble and fall, but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

Matthew 17:20: Nothing will be impossible for you.

So the moral of this story is that we are the main character in the movie. It's like we never die. The Bible states that even if destruction is happening all around us our life will be preserved by God. There is nothing too big for God to handle.

Of course, I am not a believer in the prosperity Gospel. I don't think that because we are christians nothing bad will ever happen or that we will never die (though if eternal life counts in your mind, we'll never truly die). I am simply saying that bad things can occur all around us. Unfair things. Life altering things. But as long as we are in Christ God has our back. He is not going to let anything happen out of His will and it should be of great comfort to us that He will take care of our needs even when it looks like He isn't. That even when unfair things occur God has a plan to redeem the situation or at least be there and give us strength through it!

The matter of the fact is that we are on God's team. He is there for us. He sees our every need. He knows our every circumstance. He can make the unthinkable happen. He can handle our enemies or our biggest battle. And all we must do is realize that in His strength we can do anything. We have a God who we can trust. Who can bring us peace for any tribulation. We must simply remain in Him. Seek Him. Pursue Him. We have to do our part. We have to trust Him. But He will never leave us alone to fight our own battles. He is by our side every second.

And so, in a way, we are just like the main character who can defy all the odds. Only difference is we are doing it because of Christ. Not because of something unrealistic.

With You I can attack a barrier, and with my God I can leap over a wall. Psalm 18:29

he one who trusts in the Lord will have faithful love surrounding him. -Psalm 32:10

L-O-V-E

2010-08-28T12:34:00.004-04:00

LOVE. Isn't it a crazy thing? Someone once said it is the only shocking act left on the planet. Love moves us to do crazy things. Things that others cannot possibly understand looking on from the sidelines.

Wasn't it Jim Elliott's love of God and the nations that moved him to die by the hands of those he was trying to reach, leading them to come to a relationship with Christ? Then Jose Gomez, back in May, who jumped in front of a train to save his friends life. Wasn't that for love? Corrie Ten Boom risked her own life to help jews escape Nazi Concentration camps because she valued and loved others. God loved and valued our eternal lives so much he sent His son to die in our place.

Once you have grasped love you realize this world cannot survive without it. To be loved by friends, family, or any other human being is really one of the greatest gifts there is. If we all ceased to love and value humans this human race would cease to exist. The greatest commandment God gave us was to love him and love others.

God not only commanded us to love others. But he also gave us the commandment to not murder. If I were being honest, this is often a commandment I have not put much weight in. Because I knew that hating your brother in your heart meant you were also a murderer. But even then. I wasn't very convicted by it. And then, I ran across this:

"When you think of men and women as anything less than the image of God you devalue life and cheapen it"

And I realized, that is a form of murder isn't it? When we begin to slowly think of others as less than human or less than made in God's image it starts to lead to all kinds of evil. This is where murder begins.

And I realized that I think of others as less than being made in the image of God all the time. I fail to love others every day. I am going to be honest here, I have a really big issue loving others that are not kind to me. And God tells us it's of no merit to us to only love those who love us in return. But it's loving those who are hateful, rude or unkind that really shows Christ lives within us. The way I view other people is not very loving. In fact, I am stripping others of who God made them to be all the time.

I was in Wal-Mart just the other day picking up pictures. THe lady kept saying things like,"I'm not very good at finding peoples names on these things". Then followed up with "I don't think your pictures are here". Of course in my head I am thinking,"You're an idiot. Let me come do it myself" "Why do you even work here?". I was nice to the ladies face. Then I went home and looked at my email and realized my pictures were sent to an entirely different wal-mart. And I started to realize I do this all the time. I am always thinking condescending thoughts towards other people in my head. And, that is so far from loving. It's very far from viewing them the way Christ calls me to. What if the lady in wal-mart was having a bad day? What if I could've talked to her about Jesus? But I was too busy bashing her in my head to look for opportunities to love her.

God has been convicting me lately about my love of other people. It's definitely lacking. Jesus went out of his way for others. He gave of his entire self to reach out to others and genuinely love them. He viewed them as made in the image of God.

With my new job I run into all sorts of people. And it is tempting sometimes, not to be rude to them, but to view them in my mind as less than who they really are.

And before I can go to the nations and reach them for Christ, I should be trying to develop a right view of others. I should learn to love them the way I am called to. Because they are all made in the image of God. And the only thing that makes me any different from some is the grace of God in my life. That doesn't make me better. Because it's not by my ability or power, but by God's alone.

So I am praying that I will begin to see the people (not just overseas) but in America through Jesus' eyes.

A New Job.

2010-07-31T17:17:00.002-04:00

About a week ago I started my new job at the Eye Doctor's office. So far, it has been really good! I have been blessed to work with some amazing people. I really do get along with everyone in the office. I think it's so rare to have that kind of an atmosphere so I am really glad! It's so weird how your life can go from revolving around one thing to revovling around another. For the last couple months it revovled around fast food chicken. Now it revolves around eyes. In the course of a week I have been able to learn how to tell if someone has diabetes, high blood pressure, astigmatism, macular degeneration, etc...all by looking at their eye. It's kind of crazy how much I now could tell you about the human eye.

There is SO much to learn at this new job. I have to learn terms, coding, six machines, computer programs, how to order and file away contacts, how to read a glasses prescription by looking at it under a machine. It's a lot to take in. But everyday I can tell I am getting it more and more.

I can't lie, I was a little scared to touch people's eyes at first. Not because it grossed me out, but because I was afraid I would poke their eyes and hurt them. I made Jonathan be the guinea pig though before I did it to a patient. So I have started making him let me take out his contacts and put them in. So far so good. I have to put in people's contacts and eye drops. So I have to learn how to do it. Thank goodness Jonathan is willing to let me try it out on him first.

I have seen all sorts of crazy eye infections and things. One guy came in because a tree limb took out a piece of his eye. Crazy stuff.

Anyways, all of that to say my new job is going well. There is a lot to learn but I know I will get there.

As for everything else, we have finally ALMOST gotten done with decorating our apartment. It is so cute now that the curtains are up. If I can figure it out (technology wise) I will try to video tape it and upload it to here? Sounds complicated though...so I make no promises.

I've been Mis Bear Haven

2010-07-23T20:59:00.004-04:00

What city has cheesy house names, TONS of bear paraphernalia, pancake houses on every corner, christmas stores EVERYWHERE, random carnival rides, and country songs playing 24-7? GATLINGBURG, TN, of course! And that is exactly where I went on vacation with my family at the beginning of this week.

Among some of my favorite cheesy cabin names (that of course all had to include the word "bear" in them or they couldn't be in Gatlinburg) were:

1. Bear Bottoms
2. Autumn Bearadise
3. Mis Bear Haven
4. Bearly Wet
5. Bearly Cozy

Who wants to stay at Bearly cozy??? haha. OR bear bottoms? Our cabin happened to have a less cheesy name. It was simply "A Home Away". But it was on Waverly Way. So it did ryhmn with the street name. I have a feeling in order to own a cabin in that area you have to have a cheesy sense of humor or a way of making a pun on words with the word bear.

We had a really fun week going to Circe De Chine. This was a chinese acrobatic circus type thing. It was super hard to explain and incredibly hilarious. However, the people were SUPER talented and it was really impressive to watch.

We also went to Dollywood, the Comedy Barn, tubing, shopping, etc...It was a lot of fun!

At Dollywood I got in trouble by the lady who drives the shuttle for jumping the fence to get onto the shuttle. Those drivers were hardcore and took their job a little too seriously. If you are wanting to control some things and feel like you have some authority forget being a police officer. Instead, be a shuttle driver at Dollywood! I also got witnessed to on the shuttle on the way to the park. It was a very interesting time. We also met some very interesting waiters/waitresses. haha. It was just a hilarious time and a hilarious city!!! haha.

We also went letterboxing. If you don't know what that is...perhaps I will write a blog later. For now google it.

Luckily, there was a perfect window of time in between quitting Chick Fil A and starting at Wake Forest Eye Care. I was really really glad to be able to spend time with my family. I was really missing them. It was super hard to leave knowing that I won't see them again until November. But I was grateful for the time I did have!

I can't get blogger to upload pictures. But, I have them up on facebook!

What I Love...

2010-07-16T00:43:00.004-04:00

I remember the first time I realized it. I had just put on a red sleeveless dress for a talent show in the youth group. We were set up to do a dance that meant we had to raise our arms repeatedly. The song was "Santa Clause is Coming to Town". My armpits had been burning. So, I looked down at them and realized it looked like someone had clawed them to death. I had no clue what was going on with them. But this started years of being allergic to every kind of deodorant known to man. I went through a phase where I could only wear spray deodorant and I had to switch every month or so... way before the bottle was even empty. TONS of money has been wasted on deodorant for me over the years.

Also, I have issues with my hair. I could use a shampoo for a month or so and then my hair would start looking SERIOUSLY oily. So I would constantly be switching products. My room mates would mock me because I had so many different kinds of shampoos. But I knew there was not a day too far in the future where I would have to revert back to the kind I used a year ago. So I would keep the old bottles handy.

I found out I had "sensitive skin". Of course this also means I have to be careful what laundry detergent I use.

Seriously, maybe I should be put in a bubble? Not only am I sensitive to things. But now I am married to someone who seems to be allergic to everything on the face of the planet. Therefore, not only do I have to put up with his never ending sneezing until I finally fall asleep. But I also have to look out for what I use to wash his clothes and whatnot. haha (I really don't mind).

These may seem like vain issues. However, it's really not fun for your armpits to be burning all the time. Nor is it fun for your scalp or arms and legs to be itching. I have only found things that worked because my friends would recommend things. Thus begins a list of things that I LOVE (and trust me, with how picky my skin is, it's no wonder I ever find anything that isn't super expensive). I figured me passing it on (like friends have done for me, or like a magazine has suggested) would maybe help some other people find some affordable products. Not to mention products that actually work.

!. Herbal Essence Body Envy Shampoo and Conditioner in White Nectarine. Not only does this smell like gummy bears (this may sound like a nasty thing. But seriously, just take a whiff...it's great) but it isn't very expensive and your hair actually looks good afterwards.

2. Secret Soothing Effects Deodorant (Calming Garden is my favorite). Ok, this one is a little bit more expensive. But if you have arm pits like mine it's so worth it. My arm pits never burn anymore and the stuff smells amazing!!!

3. Tide detergent with just a touch of downy. This stuff smells amazing AND it makes your clothes super soft. If you buy the jumbo size you end up saving a lot of money and it comes close to the price of the cheaper kind.

4. Target sells off brands in almost everything. And I have NEVER found any bath product in the target off brand (up & up) that wasn't just as good as the name brand item.

5. Caress Tahitian renewal body wash. It smells like summer. You can get the up&up brand of this at target for $3 cheaper!!! Looks and smells the EXACT same.

6. The Pioneer Woman blog has lots of quick, easy, and yummy recipes. There are HUNDREDS. So if you are looking to add some new things to your menu rotations. It's a wonderful place to look: www.thepioneerwoman.com

7. ETSY! This is a website of young artists and people who haven't quite made it to being a big name yet. The website has jewelry, clothes, art work, etc.. for cheap. There is lots of cool stuff on there. Just google it.

8. King of Queens. I know this show has gone off of the air. But it is HILARIOUS and most of the time really clean too. It is always good to have something to help you unwind.

9. RADICAL by David Platt. Reading it right now. I only ask you to read it if you are willing to change LOTS of things about your way of life. It will make you uncomfortable. But it's also AMAZING!!!

10. Voddie Baucham, JD Greear, David Platt, Mark Driscol, Matt Chandler, Alvin Reid, Darin Patrick and I will even throw in Dr. Daniel Akin (because he really is awesome) some very solid preachers/artists that you MUST check out!

11. The message "Gospel-Centered Preaching" by Darin Patrick is probably one of the best sermons I have EVER heard. And you can listen to it here: http://www.sebts.edu/news-resources/chapel/default.aspx
Just scroll down to the Thursday April 8 section and you will see a link to it. This page also contains some sermons by some of the awesome pastors/authors I named before.

12. TLC. The best television channel if you are a woman.

13. PG Tips Tea. My room mate from college, Meredith Beck introduced me to it. It is the BEST when it comes to hot tea.

14. Me You and the World by Dave Barnes. Wonderful cd.

15. This Moment by Steven Curtis Chapman. only cd I have ever found blatantly about Missions. Since that is the beat of my heart, I LOVE this cd. I can relate to it so well!

16. Joshua Project. A website that I was introduced to in college that shows you all the unreached people groups of the world, their religion, and their population. It's a good website to use to just pick a different people group everyday to pray for. Praying for people to GO and praying that these people will hear the Gospel. It gives you a world view that is much bigger than just your little sphere and reminds you of bigger things. I think it just helps give a bigger and better perspective.

17. The youtube video: Nail Salon - Anjelah Johnson - Comedy Time. It will make more sense and be funnier to women. But it's really funny. And Anjelah Johnson does some funny stuff. And the youtube video: Baby panda sneezing. I'm sorry, it just makes me smile! I love it!

18. Baby Powder. In the Philippines they would have massive amounts of it. I would go to feed the children lunch and would bring it with me and "powder them up". It was a really fast way to cool down, soak up sweat and oil and make you feel refreshed. I am now addicted. It's one of the most wonderful tricks in the summer. Especially for your face. Just put a little in your hands, rub them together and then past it all over your face. You'll soon be addicted too. And, it's cheap.

19. Bojangles. I just discovered it. IT's really big up here. Anyways, they have the best chicken and biscuits. And it is cheap. Me and Jonathan both eat there for 9 bucks!

20. Red Box. I am sure you all have heard of it by now. But Blockbuster and Movie Gallery started charging like 5 dollars to rent a movie for ONE night. Red Box only makes you pay $1. It's so much more affordable if you want to rent a movie that just came out!

If you LOVE something that I didn't name leave me a comment. I like trying new things!

It's been "My Pleasure" Chick Fil A...

2010-07-10T22:21:00.006-04:00

Have you ever run more than a couple miles? The first couple are the hardest. You have to push through the pain to get to the part that is a little easier. Running is all about endurance. I feel like my job at Chick Fil A is just like that. The first couple hours are the most painful. If you can get past the first four or so, you can make it. It's all about endurance. Endurance to deal with all the crazy annoying people that you come into contact with.

God has so richly blessed my life lately. And therefore, He has also blessed me with a new job. Honestly, I might go crazy if I had to keep working at Chick Fil A. Because I never have a set schedule. Some nights I get home at eleven. Some days I wake up at 6:00 AM. I never know. But one thing I can be guaranteed: my schedule will ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS be opposite of Jonathan's schedule.

God has definitely used my job at Chick Fil A to prepare me for the future. Honestly, it has taught me how to stick something out even when I hate it. It has taught me to work my hardest even when I hate what I am doing, simply because my best is what I should always give. It has taught me to rise above my feelings. It has taught me patience with people. I have been stretched. I have learned so much about relating to people of all ages. I have been stuck with the crazies, the wierdos, the snobs, the drop-outs, the polites. I have gotten all kinds of people. I really do believe this has not only prepared me for my upcoming job (It's at an eye doctors office being a Technician) but it has also prepared me for a lifetime of ministry.

I guess I am sort of a sentimental person. And even the end of an era in my life I have hated with a passion in some ways, is also kind of sad. I really loved the people I worked with at chick Fil A. My bosses were so loving and understanding. And I was blessed to have at least that.

So, in order to say "Good-Bye" to my time at Chick Fil A, I have compiled a list of my most loved/hated (you can decide which is which) moments at Chick Fil A:

1. The time someone ordered "The Fluffy One" and that was supposed to translate that they wanted to order a milkshake. This person was well over 30 years of age.

2. Chick Fil A comes with several cheesy lines that define who they are. Such as, whenever someone says "Thank You" we have to reply, "My Pleasure". Another thing we ALWAYS have to do is when someone wants a refill, we have to ask them if they will remove their lid first. At the beginning of my time at the restaurant I would say, "Will you please take off your top for me?" As you can imagine (getting all sorts of customers) this led to a string of completely nasty and inappropriate comments. You can bet though, after a couple of times of nasty remarks, I changed up my wording.

3. There was this middle schooler who came in every week. And he made SURE he got in line at my register. Why? He had discovered that every time someone said "thank you" we had to reply with "my pleasure". So this led to weeks upon weeks of him coming in and standing at my register for ten minutes. HE would sit there and say "Thank You" about EVERYTHING. When I replied with, "My Pleasure" he would giggle like a little girl. Seriously, I am not sure why this amused him so much. But, it provided him with hours of entertainment. And there were a couple times I wanted to just be like,"Look, go away kid. I am pretty sure my manager would not mind me telling you to leave me alone".

4. The time it was "Cow Appreciation Day" and everyone came in dressed like a cow for free food. This will bring out people's weirdness even more than any other time. There were a whole range of weird things going on. But, one lady came in with a white jogging outfit on. She had her black underwear on top of her white outfit. And somehow she thought this qualified her as a cow. NEWS FLASH: It SO does not.

5. We have like eight different kinds of sauces at Chick Fil A. One of my least favorite questions is,"What kind of sauce do you have?" This always launches me into a two minute listing of our many sauces. Then I have to explain what they taste like since no one has ever heard of them before. We have one sauce called Polynesian sauce. And no one can remember how to pronounce it. I have gotten so many comments from, "I would like your polysneezsion Sauce" (ew) to "I would like your Palmeranian Sauce" Or even "I would like your Caucasian Sauce". Oh brother. Why is it so difficult?

6. The day when the power went out for an hour and a half for absolutely NO reason. I got stuck in the parking lot in the 100 degree weather handing out coupons and telling people we didn't have food. I got stranded with this one creepy old man who someone got launched into this story about a fast food chain back in the day called "Fish N Chips" (somehow connected to KFC). I was only saved when my boss looked out the window, saw me, and came up with a "different job" for me. Thank goodness for bosses who look out for me.

7. There is a creepy old man who comes in and calls me "Jessica with the beautiful smile" I dread seeing him walk through the door.

8. The week the bank ended up giving us wheat pennies instead of current pennies. People were coming in to buy coins instead of food.

9. The day I was working in the dining room and the little boy barfed all over the booth I was about to clean up...

10. The day that the truck with a U-Haul came through and ran into our drive-through pavilion.

Man, I have so many good stories from working there. I will really miss the strange characters and the people. I will miss my co-workers and bosses. But I got to be honest, I will not miss the work. :)

Back...

2010-07-07T17:10:00.004-04:00

I know it has been a while since I updated. I can't even begin to describe how crazy my life was before I got married and settled into my new apartment. Trying to juggle a 35 hour a week job, classes/homework, relationships, moving and wedding details was almost more than I could handle! It's nice to be on the flip side of all of that!

My wedding was beautiful. My mom did such a wonderful job with everything. And I am very thankful to have a mother who is creative and can keep a level head when the pressure is rising! I wouldn't have wanted anyone else going through all of the planning with me! Here is a link to some of the pictures:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/51179702@N08/

I couldn't have asked for a more perfect day. THe only thing I wish I could have differently is how foggy everything was to me while it was happening. I was so busy and had so much going on that my wedding day is kind of a blur. Which is pretty sad for something you spend time planning. Luckily, I have pictures and video. But, if I could relive a day I think it might be that one!

I also had the most wonderful honeymoon. God blessed us tremendously. We were able to go on a honeymoon to Paris, France and Zermatt, Switzerland. I have always wanted to go to Paris! And it was real sweet of Jonathan to make that happen. I know he worked extra hard.

Me and France go hand in hand. They believe in five main food groups: cheese, meat, bread and chocolate. Incidentally, those also happen to be my five main food groups. So, we got along great. The food was amazing. And the cute little cafes where you eat were really nice. I had never dreamed though that people would not speak english to us. haha. It was definitely an adventure trying to speak over there. We saw every main sight there is to see! If you want to see pictures of that check out my facebook!

Switzerland was an entirely different world than France. It was so beautiful. It was around 40 degrees down in the valley when we were there. So it was weird coming back from such cold weather to it being 100 degrees outside. Switzerland was so clean and quaint. It was just adorable. They have the most beautiful, clearest water. We rode a train up several thousand feet over the mountains to Zermatt. It was a cute little German town with the Alps in plain view. We decided to ride the sky lift up 12,000 feet on top of the Klein Matterhorn so we could see the Big Matterhorn. I have honestly never wanted to cry before just looking at God's creation (even though I have seen some beautiful things). But, to be honest, I came pretty close to losing it as we came up out of the clouds and were overlooking the Alps above the clouds. I could've stayed up there forever on the mountain top overlooking such a gorgeous view. People were up there singing hymns. And it reminded me that you really can't see something that awesome and not think of God. It was pretty awesome and I definitely would not trade the experience for anything. I was VERY VERY sad when we left Zermatt.

It was a wonderful honeymoon. It was ten days long. It made it that much harder to come back to reality.

But I have had a wonderful time getting our house set up. We have been decorating and hanging out with friends quite a bit. Unfortunately right now me and Jonathan are on completely opposite schedules so we rarely see one another. I can't complain, we still see each other more than we did before we got married.

Our first full day together in a long time was on Jonathan's birthday. For his birthday we went to play Putt Putt and LAser Tag. Then we went and ate at a chinese restaurant and saw the movie Robin Hood. It was a really good day!

God has blessed me with a new job (so no more Chick Fil A). I am going to be a technician at an eye doctor's office. I am really looking forward to it! My boss is a christian and the girls I am going to be working with are also seminary wives who are going on the mission field. I get benefits and it pays well. It's Monday-Friday 9-5. So I finally get weekends and evenings off of work. I am really really looking forward to it!

As for now, there aren't too many marriage adventures to tell you about. I love being married though! It's a good thing! I will have more exciting things to come in the days ahead (I will try to blog more now that life has calmed down a little bit).

What do I Know of Holy?

2010-02-20T00:51:00.004-05:00

Have you ever met someone who just made you realize how much YOU need Jesus? What I mean is, someone who reminds you that without Christ you are capable of all sorts of awful things?

Tonight I met someone like that. His name was LA. As I looked into the eyes of LA tonight, I wanted to fall to my knees before God and just say, “Thank you for saving me, I am such a horrible sinner and capable of all kinds of evil without you changing my life”. I am not sure if another human has ever made me feel that so strongly. But, LA made me grateful for a God who placed me in a Christian family. Grateful to a God who opened my eyes to who He was and how much I was in need of Him saving me. LA is a pimp in downtown Raleigh. And he was drunk tonight when we talked to him (you can’t get very far with someone who is drunk). LA had been in jail where people had told him about JEsus. So, he knew all the answers but he was unwilling to change and turn from his sin. That really breaks my heart.

I met several people like LA tonight. I went downtown with a local church to do a homeless ministry they conduct. They buy hamburgers, chips, and water and take them downtown. You go around in groups handing out food and blankets to the homeless and sharing Christ with them. I met two other people: Johnny and Ashley. Ashley was also disinterested and took several steps away from me while we were talking until she was several feet away from me texting on her phone. I can’t say that I blame people for random strangers ambushing them. However, I just feel sad. We hold the key to the biggest thing in life and no one cares. The sad realities of this world. Most people don’t wanna change.

I am trying to force myself to get out in the community more this semester. I intentionally took an evangelism class to force myself to DO SOMETHING! It’s hard to get motivated sometimes here in America to share with people about Jesus. But I want to change that. There is just something about sharing Jesus with other people. I mean, it fulfills something in me. That’s probably because I was created to do it. And I fail at doing it so often.

I realized tonight that this kind of thing makes me so emotionally exhausted. Because I just carry so much weight with this kind of thing. And I realized I have a lifetime of being emotionally exhausted because I carry such a strong burden for people. Missions will definitely make me exhausted.

God has been teaching me a lot lately. I am going through Hebrews. I was reading the other day and it was talking about how God is the Sanctifier. And how we are holy because HE is holy and He lives inside of us. And it dawned on me: I have everything I need inside of me to be Holy: Christ. But I choose to constantly live an unholy life. And, I don’t know why I hadn’t realized it before, but for some reason it just sank in. God is holy and he calls me to a holy life. I can choose holiness. And, I want to look holy to others around me. I want to reflect Christ in my life.

Addison Road sings this song and I LOVE the words: 
I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all No
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

(CHORUS 2)
What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life "its" name?
What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?

Jonathan’s first nephew (or neice) was born on February 11, 2010. He is now a first time uncle. And I guess that makes me an (almost) first time aunt. He is a really cute baby. His name is Jonah. We traveled down to Atlanta to see him. And, I got to see my family. It snowed four inches in Georgia. For some reason Blogspot won't let me upload pictures to this post. So I will have to upload some pictures to a different blog post later on!

Finding Beauty in Every Day Things...

2010-02-03T01:32:00.002-05:00

You know those little things all around you that remind you of God's presence or even an attribute of God? Like a rainbow for instance, it was put in the sky as a promise. It reminds us that God is faithful and He does not break His promises to us. When He says something He means it, unlike all the people of this world. Then there is the sunshine after the rain, reminding us that God is joy. When we shed tears they will not be forever; because even if all this mortal body brings us is sorrow, when we get to heaven we will know nothing but pure joy in the face of God. I also think of the flowers. They remind us of God's provision. If God can clothe them, will he not also clothe and take care of our every need? If a flower does not go unnoticed by him, how much more do we not go unnoticed? And, hasn't He been SO faithful in giving us more than we could ever need?

But as of this weekend, the thing that comes to my mind is snow. We can go to bed one night with the ground being green and the dirt being visible, then we wake up and just a couple hours later the ground can be completely covered in a pure white blanket of snow. There are no more roads, sidewalks, flowers, or grass that we can see. It's just a pure blanket of white. It's a wonderful picture of many things. But for me, this weekend, I was reminded of God's mercies being new every morning. Thank goodness He never runs out of giving us another chance. His Grace and Mercy are so abundant. Luckily we can wake up every morning and we don't have to live it the way we did the day before. We don't have to always make the same mistakes and we don't have to go down the same path. Each new day is a chance given to us to do more for God's kingdom and to have a fresh start. It's also a wonderful picture of how God can take something nasty, filthy and sinful and turn it into pure white. He can take anything and make it into something we could've never imagined.

I have looked into the faces of many people lately. Some are my friends, who I love dearly. Some are my family, who I could never replace and it brings tears to my eyes to think of how blessed I am with them. And yet others I hardly no. Some are co-workers who drive me nuts with how bossy and nagging they can be. Some are those I can sometimes look down on as "inferior". Some are those that have treated me poorly and I find it almost impossible to love them. But, God has been reminding me lately that He can make ANYONE a new creature. He made me one and I can still at times looks like a hopeless cause. I must never give up on others, because Jesus has not given up on me. When I look into the eyes of those I don't understand or those who I find it nearly impossible to love, I need to see Jesus. Because He can melt the heart of stone. He makes all things new.

And I am so thankful He gives me a new day, with new mercies. I am grateful that I can wake up every day and try harder than the day before. I am so grateful I can get chance after chance to actually make my life count for Christ and hear him say "Well done" when it is all finished. BEcause in the end, that is all that matters. And I pray I wake up each new day and make it count more than the day before.

One of my favorite songs that says it well (Nichole Nordeman can say it more beautifully than I ever could):

Is it fair to say I was lured away?
By endless distractions and lovelier attractions then
Or fairer still, my own free will
Is the better one to blame
For this familiar mess I've made again

So I would understand, if you were out of patience
And I would understand, if I was out of chances

(Chorus)
Your mercies are new every morning
So let me wake with the dawn
When the music is through or so it seems to be
Let me sing a new song, old things gone
Every day it's true, You make all Your mercies new

The distance left between East and West
Is how far You would go to forget the debt I owe
And thrown into the sea, the wicked ways in me
Will never have a chance to wash back on the sand

So I would understand, if you would make me pay
I would understand, lying in the bed I made again

(Chorus)

Up comes the sun on every one of us
Gone, gone, gone the guilt and shame that knew your name

2009-12-02T23:28:00.004-05:00

The semester is winding down. I can't believe it. Life goes by so fast sometimes. At this rate I will be 50 years old before I can blink. God has given me so many blessing this year. And, it was through coming to Southeastern that a lot of those blessings came my way! I am really thankful for the friends i have made up here, the classes I have taken and the things I have learned. I am even thankful for my job at Chick Fil A because God has blessed me with an amazing boss and co-workers who have been so understanding and kind towards me these past couple months!

luckily, I was able to fly home to Chattanooga for Thanksgiving! I hadn't been home since August! It was amazing to see my family! I really love this time of year: Thanksgiving and Christmas. I really just have such a wonderful family. And, sometimes I forget how true that is when I am away from them for so long.

Me and Jonathan took some engagement pictures. My aunt Grace took them. THey are really cute! I will include them in this post so you can see some of them (for the few who haven't seen them already).

Right now I am studying Hebrews in my personal time. It is really amazing going through a book of the Bible at a time. I have read the entire bible through a couple of times. It is amazing how much you can learn from one book. I feel like it's wisdom never runs out and there is always something new and insightful that you've missed all those years you have been reading it. I am amazed by that. And, I really like diving into books so I know more specifically what the books are about, where the author is coming from. There is just something to say about spending months studying one book. I feel like you get so much more out of it that way. And, the theme of the book sticks with you so much more.

Greek has also been an amazing thing this year for me. Learning the original language is pretty exciting. I know there is so much more to be learned from it!

On a different note...just for fun I wanted to put some of my favorite Christmas things:

Top 3/ favorite religious Christmas songs:

1. O Holy Night
2. I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day
3. It Came Upon a Midnight Clear

Top 3/ Favorite non-religious Christmas songs:

1. It's the most wonderful time of the year
2. Have yourself a merry little Christmas
3. All I want for Christmas is You-Mariah Carey

The Christmas cd definitely worth checking out this year:

Glory in the Highest: A christmas record by: Shane and Shane

Top 3 /Favorite Christmas Traditions:

1. Decorating the Christmas tree.
2. Christmas Eve when my family gathers around the piano and sings Christmas songs and then reads the Christmas story.
3. Decorating ginger bread houses.

Christmas is wonderful! ha! We got a HUGE 12 foot Christmas tree at Chick Fil A tonight. It smelled amazing and it looked amazing. I wanted so badly for my task for the evening to be decorating it! HA! It didn't happen.

I am one week away from finals in seminary! I have a big paper to write before then! I am almost there!

I will include the picture I mentioned earlier. Although, I am sad I don't have any of our Thanksgiving as a family. My camera is broken so I haven't been able to get any pictures lately...it's really sad :(

I love fall...

2009-11-20T00:27:00.004-05:00

The holidays make people do some pretty ridiculous things. I guess everyone gets in the spirit and joy of Christmas. Apparently, this has started to happen right after Halloween. It's like a huge city like Atlanta. Soon the suburbs of that city end up reaching an hour out from all directions until that city is massive in size. I guess Christmas will soon spread out to several months before it takes place.

christmas is one of my favorite times of year. Ok, I think it is my absolute favorite. Just something about it makes me really happy inside. I have held off listening to Christmas music, except when my room mates are blaring it from their rooms or from the living room. But, me and my room mates finally gave in to putting up a tree just two nights ago. We were planning for a thanksgiving dinner (that happened tonight). And we were at Wal-Mart and started looking at all the trees there. My room mate gave in and bought one. She also ended up buying decorations. So we stayed up till three in the morning listening to Christmas music and decorating it. It's nice to have a little bit of Christmas in our living room.

Tonight we had a Thanksgiving dinner between me and all of my friends. Ginny bought the turkey and we attempted to cook it ourselves. It was the first time I had prepared a turkey. It was funny. Ginny also made three apple pies, corn, mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce. My other friends brought rolls, dressing, macaroni, green bean casserole and jello. So, we really did have a feast. A lot of people came and it was really fun to hang out and eat together. And, as cheesy as it may be I am incredibly thankful for how much God has blessed me. I have amazing friends here. And I have a really good life.

I am really glad I get a week off of work for Thanksgiving break! I haven't been home since August.

I finally got past the craziness of the middle of the semester and this week has been really relaxing and good for me! I have had more time with friends. Funny story: Why is it that when you go into a Mexican Restaurant they assume you can speak spanish? This has happened to me countless times. I am blonde, green eyed and completely white. But they always seem to talk to me in spanish. I always do a double take and am like,"Did they just talk to me in english? I didn't understand a word of it!" Does this happen to anyone else? I think it's time I learn spanish.

That story spawned out of the fact that I went to a Mexican Restaurant with a friend the other night and then out to starbucks.

Last night Ginny introduced me to a christmas tradition her family does: cracking nuts. It's the first time I actually used a nut cracker. Every year at christmas I look at the things and I am like: What is the point? But I finally used one. I have decided nuts are equally as addicting as chips are. haha.

Today me and my friends Ginny and Christina took pictures on campus. Ginny found this one really pretty red tree left over from fall that she wanted to take pictures in front of. Here are some of them:

This is my life...

2009-11-13T00:42:00.002-05:00

Man, I am pretty much a failure at updating. My life has been absolutely crazy these past couple of weeks. I have had to teach a class, take multiple tests and write three research papers. Not to mention I have been working 20 or more hours per week. These past couple of months has been testing my ability to balance my life. I used to be pretty good at it! Lately I am just failing in this area. SAD! So, if I haven't called you like I should or haven't shown you the care that I should I apologize. Notice I am writing this at like one in the morning. If only my friends and family back home stayed up that late. haha.

God has shown me his plan in my life with seminary. I am learning so much from all the professors/classes/chapels. Greek has stretched me an incredible amount. It is so tough. But, I am really loving it at the same time!

I just signed up for my classes next semester. I am learning that they don't offer a lot of the courses for my program in the spring semester, which is pretty sad. Here is my schedule:

Greek 2 with Dr. Black (I am really excited about this. Dr. Black is world renowned for his Greek abilities and I hear he is awesome)
Women and Evangelism
Moral Foundations of Marriage and Family

I am finding a lot of the core classes I already took in college and could probably clep out of. I am not really wanting to repeat any of them!

Chik Fil A is going well. I mean, yet again, I don't love it. I don't hate it. It's a job. I am thankful God has provided.

We get a lot of interesting customers. It's a really big thing in the area to fabricate money and bring it in. So, we get people bringing in fake 100 dollar bills a lot. It's annoying. Not only that, but you will get people in the drive through trying to just drive off without paying. Some people eat their entire entree and then claim it was "cold" or "pink" just to get free food because Chik Fil A is so nice. It gets frustrating dealing with people all the time. But, that is life.

I do have some funny stories though:

1. I was working the drive through and a customer came driving through asking if we had hush puppies. haha. When I said no they drove off.

2. A man came in and asked for a happy meal. He wasn't kidding. I was like,"You mean a kids meal, right?" He goes,"No, a happy meal" haha. I guesss that's what I get for correcting a customer.

3. A customer came in and wanted a cheeseburger

These stories are not even a joke. And these people weren't kidding either. haha. It definitely is funny.

My life has been so busy these past couple weeks I have found myself exercising at ten PM and cleaning my house and midnight. It's an awful schedule. haha. I hear it doesn't get any better from here either.

I am really looking forward to Thanksgiving break when I can go home and see my family for the first time since August. It's been too long. I am ready for home.

I know, my life is not very thrilling. I will write something later if something interesting happens.

Flooding...

2009-10-01T16:22:00.003-04:00

I feel like the whole world is being overtaken by water. I was already aware that the Earth is like 70% water and 20% land. But, it seems like that gap is closing in even more lately with all the rain. I had no idea the flooding in Atlanta was so severe. I just looked up pictures of it yesterday on the internet. Six Flags was under water and some peoples homes were completely gone. It was a really weird thing to see.

Last night my bathroom/room was flooded. The apartment above us was doing their laundry and the washing machine overflowed. It ended up coming through the ceiling into my room and bathroom. I had buckets everywhere. THe maintenance guys came by today and said that my ceiling might crack. If that happens they have to replace part of it. At least our floors don't have to be replaced. The girls above us have to have all of their wood floors redone.

Another instance of flooding (a lot more severe than the flooding in my apartment) is going on in the Philippines right now. A Typhoon hit there about two days ago in Manila. For those of you who aren't aware of the makeup of the islands of the Philippines here is a little geography lesson for you: over 7,000 islands make up what we call the Philippines. The three main islands, however are: Luzon (the northern most island), Visayas (the middle island where Manila is located) and Mindanao (the southern most island which is where I spent my summer in Davao). The first Typhoon, Ketsana, hit Manila on the island of Visayas. Over 200 people are counted as dead and many more have lost their homes. A second typhoon, Parma, said to hit the upper most island of Luzon in a couple days is supposed to be even stronger than the one that just hit. I know the Philippines is used to typhoons. A couple hit while I was serving there last summer. However, these typhoons are causing much more destruction. As some of you know, I left part of my heart in the Philippines. I want nothing more than to be there for the people and to help them out. It breaks my heart because the people there have almost nothing. Their houses are shacks and they are not made to withstand such storms. I know that a lot of people are probably homeless now and have lost everything that they have. A storm like this, I feel, is much more devastating to these people than it would be to us in America. So, my heart goes out to them. All my precious little kids are fine in Mindanao. But, I am sad for the other parts of the Philippines that haven't been as fortunate and are losing lives, houses, and everything that they own. Please pray for them.

If you want to follow up on current events around the world (since America is pretty ethnocentric on its news reporting) you can check out : www.news.bbc.co.uk

It's sad that the rest of the world is so aware of what is going on in America but we have no clue what is going on around the world. We mostly only care about ourselves. That was something I learned when I was in the PHilippines. They knew the history of America and they even knew our current president. But, I couldn't have told you who their past or present leader was!

A major earthquake also just hit Indonesia, killing 1,000 (+) people. Samoa just had a Tsunami hit.

Just some major events around the world to be aware of and to be in prayer over!

On a different note...

1. My job is going well. I have been working a lot. I have realize standing on my feet for 8 hours straight is not comfortable. Most days I have come home with my entire body aching. Also, working at Chik Fil A has made me exhausted all the time. IT has kept me pretty tired.

2. Greek is getting more and more challenging for me. I got a "B" on my first test. And, I have gotten 100 on all of my quizzes. But, it is just starting to get over my head. Pray that I can still understand it after studying it and giving it my all.

3. School is challenging but good. I am learning how to balance my life with the work load and the work schedule at Chik Fil A. It's been a difficult adjustment and I have had to cut things from my daily routine. Thing I love! Oh well.

4. God is teaching me a lot!

Standing on the beach, or safe on the mountain top?

2009-09-22T19:30:00.003-04:00

On December 26, 2004 a Tsunami of 9.3 magnitude rocked the countries of Thailand and Indonesia. These countries had cities and people that were left changed forever because of it. How easy it is to not be changed by such an event when you live so far away from it. How easy it is to forget it happened. How easy it is to be in America, safe and unharmed, and not want to do anything to help out.

At the Chik Fil A opening the other day we were having a conversation with a lady whose son worked in Thailand when the Tsunami hit. Neither her or her son are christians, so she didn't intend for the story to have a spiritual parallel. But, it was one of those stories where you could see a beautiful illustration coming to life. She said her son had been sent with his family to Thailand to be a medical doctor. He had just finished training two weeks before the Tsunami hit. In this training they covered what happens when a Tsunami is getting ready to hit. Her son was going about his normal business on December 26, when someone stopped by his house and said,"Come look at the water. It is all dried up. The water from the ocean is gone." He knew immediately (because of his training) that a Tsunami was about to hit. So he grabbed his son and headed to higher ground immediately. Because of his training he knew exactly what to do and he was saved because of it. However, there were countless people who were just walking along the beach, excited that the water was gone so they could pick up a bunch of amazing sea shells. They didn't know that they should run. They had no clue that they were in grave danger. What was about to kill them, they saw as something exciting. Those people died on the beach where they were picking up sea shells. If only someone had educated those people on what it is like when a Tsunami hits. If only the government had taken necessary precautions, those people might still be here today.

I know that's a depressing thought. But, our lives parallel this in so many ways. Because we know the Gospel and we know Christ, we are on higher ground, safe from the destruction of the waves that will come crashing back in (we are safe from hell and eternal separation from Christ). Unlike us Christians, there are so many people on the beach of life oblivious to their own destruction. They are side tracked by the hundreds of beautiful sea shells they are picking up, unaware that a huge wave is about to come back in and take their life. If someone would just come along and tell them what they need to know, their life could be saved!

It might be a cheesy example to you. But, the point is that there are so many people out there waiting to hear about Jesus Christ and no one is educating them. No one is telling them what they need to know! If someone would go! If someone would take the Gospel to them they could be saved from destruction!!!

God has called us to go! Too bad Americans (myself included far too many times) are way more worried about being cool than ever being a witness for Christ.

Verse 1:
He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

Pre-Chorus:
And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all

Chorus 1:
Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.

Verse 2:
We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…

Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
Chorus 2:
He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.

Verse 3:
Well, I thought about You the day Stephen died,
And You met me between my breaking.
I know that I still love You, God, despite the agony.
...They want to tell me You're cruel,
But if Stephen could sing, he'd say it's not true, cause...

Chorus 3:
Cause He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us.
Whoa! how He loves us.
Whoa! how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.

Chik Fil A is good to me!

2009-09-20T15:22:00.002-04:00

What do you get when you combine 100 people + 36 hours of free food/games + sleeping in a tent in a restaurant parking lot? You get a Chik Fil A restaurant opening!

This past week I experienced something I never had before. When I moved into the apartments up here my two room mates kept talking about Chik Fil A openings. Natalie had been to one and she had a lot of fun. Ginny had never been and really wanted to go! I had never heard of it before. But apparently it is a pretty big deal.

Who knew, but apparently Chik Fil A has a big celebration every time they open a new restaurant. You can look on Chik Fil A's website and read more about it. But the gist of it is that they allow people to line up at their restaurant @ 6:00 AM, twenty-four hours before the grand opening of the store. They will then give each person there a raffle ticket. They draw for 100 people. The 100 people who get picked are allowed to camp out in the parking lot of the Chik Fil A for 24 hours until the stores grand opening. The 100 people picked get free food for those 24 hours. They also have games that are played to keep people entertained. We had a DJ come out and there was a dance party. There were also tons of other games.

Also, when the store opens at 6:00 AM the following morning, if you were hadn't dropped out or gotten disqualified you won 52 tickets for free combo meals at Chik Fil A.

There were a couple rules. The 100 who were picked HAD to stay in the chik fil a parking lot for those 24 hours. The premises were roped off and no one was allowed to leave. You were only allowed inside for short bathroom breaks. And, they had a couple of rules: no cussing, no smoking, no drinking, no crude humor, no voilence. If you didn't obey the rules you were disqualified and sent home.

It was really funny. It was like survivor meets Chik Fil A. It cracked me up. I had never heard of it before so I found it really amusing.

Of course, me, Ginny, Danae and Christina were there together and we decided to go the night before. We ended up getting there around midnight. Which was about 40 hours before the store even opened. There were policeman patroling the area so it was safe. However, I didn't get any sleep because we were in the car. The next day we all stood in line and luckily, all four of us got picked from the raffle. So we set up a tent in the Chik Fil A parking lot. ha. It was insane. There were 100 tents in the parking lot. It was such a weird environment. I met a lot of fun people though and it was just good to hang out and do something random. I had never done something like that before and I will probably never do it again. But it was a good experience and I got 52 free Chik Fil A meals out of it.

Chik Fil A has been pretty good to me lately. I won a free prize basket from them, then they hired me as an employee, and then I got 52 tickets. haha.

I did start work there on Friday. It is an easy job. It doesn't take much brain power. However, it is pretty exhausting. I am on my feet the whole time and I am constantly going back and forth and giving people their food. It's not going to be my favorite job but it will be good. I work with a lot of awesome people. And I am even more impressed with Chik FIl A now that I am an employee. Let me just tell all of you: Chik Fil A HAS to be the cleanest fast food chain that exists. And I even go in the kitchen. If I can say that AFTER having watched people prepare the food that means something! HA!

Anyways, classes are still going well. Just trying to learn Greek and understand it. I am enjoying school still. My friends are still awesome! Jonathan moved up here about a week and a half ago! So life is good!

Fall is in the air..

2009-09-01T14:39:00.002-04:00

The past week was really good! Just like every week since I've been here. I am sure things will start picking up and getting a little bit more overwhelming. But, that hasn't happened quite yet.

Greek is pretty overwhelming. There is SO MUCH to memorize. It can be kind of confusing sometimes. But, I am getting it and it is really exciting to already be able to read greek phrases and things! I can't wait until I am reading and understanding greek even more than I am right now! I am ready to be able to do that! I have done well on both of my quizzes so far. We have two lessons per week and a quiz every thursday.

Baptist History is really good too! I have never known much about Baptist history and I haven't even learned a lot about what Baptist's believe. I think I was more a baptist because my parents were and it was in line with what I thought was right according to the little I knew about Baptist doctrine. But being in the class has opened my eyes more to what Baptist's believe and why we believe it! And, it is nice to be able to figure out where I stand on issues and to be a baptist for a deeper reason. I want my faith to be my own in every aspect. I never thought this class would be so interesting! But, it is by far my favorite class to sit in and listen to the professor.

Women's Counseling is something I wanted to take because my desire is to work with women and children overseas. And since that is my goal, I know it would be helpful to go through women's issues and figure out how to help someone through all sorts of problems. Southeastern is solely Biblical Counseling. Which means they don't bring in psychology at all. They only use the Bible to help people through their issues. It's been a good class as well and I believe it will be helpful in the future! My heart is to help women and children!

I have enjoyed the seminary schedule more than the college schedule. I only have classes three days a week. So I have enough free time to do my homework and have fun hanging out with my friends. It definitely makes me feel less stressed to not have class five days a week! My friends and I spend a lot of time playing cards. haha. It's a free way to have fun.

I got to hang out with Cameron last weekend! It's really nice to be close to her!

I am still looking for a church to attend. I have visited two different churches and am not a big fan of either one. But, I hear there is a really good one in Wake Forest we haven't been to yet.

I have a job interview tomorrow afternoon so pray I get the job! I need a job for sure!

Unlike at Toccoa, I actually really like chapel here! They get really amazing people to sing and speak. WE took up an offering for christmas in August. For those of you who don't know, the IMB has had to completely cut out the 2+2 program they had going. That is where seminary students can do two years in seminary and then finish up their degree overseas getting experience. Once they come back the IMB counts them as ready to go on the mission field full time. They are MAJORLY cutting back on the amount of journeyman they are allowing and they are even pulling missionaries off of the field. The number of missionaries they are allowing career status right now has gone way down. They were 60 million lower than normal for the Christmas offering they take up.

Anyways, all this to say they have arranged for Christmas in August to be taken to help out with the budget being so low. Our seminary participated in that and we raised over 60,000 dollars to help out! I thought that was really awesome!

And, considering I am wanting to go overseas with the IMB I have been sad about what is happening with them. But I know God has called me overseas and he will take care of it.

I have heard two really good quotes lately and wanted to share them.

"you are more evil than you ever feared, you are more loved than you ever hoped"

"The Gospel will only become good news to them AFTER it has actually become good news to us."

I am thankful my friends have a camera since mine is broken right now. Here are some pictures Ashleigh took of me and my friends:

The Seven

2009-08-20T22:41:00.003-04:00

Today was the first day of class.

This is my schedule:

TWR: Baptist History @ 11:30-12:20
TW: Greek 1 @ 12:30-1:50
T: Counseling Women @ 3:30-6:30

I have never not had classes on Mondays/Fridays before. So, it's really nice to have those extra days of relaxation. Soon they will be used for studying and reading. haha. But, still, I think it's nice to only have three days of classes.

I have been applying to several jobs. I applied at YMCA, a nanny organization, Chik-Fil-A and the library.

I got a call back from Chik-Fil-A today for an interview and they are calling me back for a second interview. So, I made it past the first round. They have been the only people even remotely interested in calling me back. So that has been nice. It isn't my ideal job. But it's a job nonetheless. And that is what I needed! So, it will all workout! I have my foot in the door at the nanny company so they said they would contact me if something else came along.

I have had some pretty embarassing experience in the past couple days:

On Wednesday I went to work out for the first time since I moved here at the (horrible) weight room on campus. I got there and was working out really hard on the eliptical. I realized I didn't feel well, so after fifteen minutes of pushing myself I decided to switch over to the bike. I got off of the eliptical just in time to have to run to the bathroom and puke in front of three older ladies. They were freaking out wanting to call an ambulance and stuff. I got an email later in the day from the employment office asking if I was ok. Come to find out, one of the ladies that helped me in the bathroom worked in the employment office. Talk about being embarassed!!! What a horrilbe first gym experience!!! HA!

Today I went to my first class and sat through it. At the end I headed to my next class. When I got there I took a seat right up in the front row in dead center of the professor. I had already had conversations with those around me. When class finally started the professor said his name and the name of the course and I realized I was in the wrong classroom. When I walked out I realized I wasn't in the wrong classroom, but I just didn't have class today! HAHA! It was a good surprise, but a little embarrassing. Oh well. It was bound to happen, right?

Tonight was Sarah Beth's birthday party. So Ashleigh cooked poppyseed chicken, fried okra, corn and green beans. We opened presents and had dessert too. Then we played the card game NERTZ for like two hours. It is so addicting and fun! I should teach it to all you guys at some point! We all love it! I am really enjoying it here! God has given me such good friends! I already have a core group of friends that I feel like I have such a strong connection with! I don't know if I have ever had so many mature/amazing/christian friends that are headed down the same path I am in life! It's so much fun! There are seven of us that all hang out together and so Ashleigh name us "the seven". haha. So original. But, we are always hanging out together. I have most of my classes with some of them! Except Greek because I was the only one brave enough to take it (hope I don't regret that choice). haha.

I really like my professors too so far-they seem really awesome! I can't wait to learn!

Tomorrow Cameron is coming to see me...which I am looking forward to! And then Saturday me and the Seven are going to see PostGrad!

Pray that I get a job, please! I will keep you updated!

North Carolina

2009-08-17T21:40:00.002-04:00

Hey everyone! I thought it was time for me to update you on how my move to North Carolina went and how my life is going up here so far!

My camera broke, so unfortunately I won't have any pictures to upload. I haven't even taken any pictures yet, which is really sad! I guess I need to invest in a new camera...only I don't have the money for one! HA! SAD!

I moved up here on Friday. It took a long 7 hours to get here. That isn't counting the stops for gas, the restroom or eating. So, it really took about 8 1/2 hours. It was a LONG trip. Even longer than I expected it to be. I had a lot of stuff too. It took a while to get settled. I am always overwhelmed when I have TONS of boxes to unpack.

But, I got it all unpacked and put away. My apartment is SO NICE! I have a dishwasher, refrigerator, washer/dryer, etc...We even have cable/DVR and wireless. We have wood floors and a cute little yard in the back. I have a room with my own bathroom. It's so nice! I am getting really spoiled! I really wish I could post some pictures of it for you!

I got to go shopping with my mom that night at super target (yes, there is one right up the road. I keep telling everyone because I am just THAT excited about it). My mom reminded me to look at the price of things and to bargain shop! That was nice! And, who knew, but you can save SO MUCH money by just buying the target brand and the target brand tastes amazing so far (in my opinion). It's good to learn how to have a budget and not blow money on dumb things. I think that will come especially handy when I get married next year. I am glad I am learning it now. And it's kind of fun now to see what kind of deals I can get! HA!

Saturday I drove to Jonathan's family reunion in spartanburg, SC. So I ended up driving a LONG way there and back. It was good to see his extended family though! I was exhausted by the time I got back to the apartment. I finally got to meet Ginny and Natalie (my house mates) in person. That was GREAT! God has blessed me so much in every way so far! These girls are amazing! They love the Lord with all their heart and we all get along great. They are way more outgoing and bubbly than I am. So that has been awesome. They've helped me meet new friends. We have become pretty close with three girls in the apartment across the street: Ashley, Sarah Beth and Denae. The crazy thing is I went to middle school with Sarah Beth! It was so random to see her again!

I have been really busy getting everything settled and hanging out with the girls.

We went to church at Richland Creek Community Church on Sunday. It is a southern baptist church, in case everyone was going to ask that. I wasn't too impressed. But, we will see. I think me and Natalie are going to try out a church in Raleigh this weekend that has an amazing ministry with the lost in downtown! I want to get involved in a church and in doing ministry! So, that church seems exciting to me!

Today we had "marticulation" (orientation) for seven hours. It was horrible. I hate it when people spend hours telling me information I could just read on my own! But, I got to meet some new people. Natalie was really sweet and gave us all coupons. So, we went to Chik-Fil-A and all got value meals for FREE!

I think I am really going to love it here! God has already given me an amazing community of friends. We have done so many things together already! It's a lot of fun hanging out with them!

I really like the area! It is really pretty and has everything you could really need.

Dan Aiken spoke this morning and he seems AWESOME! As do the professors here. Everything seems really solid. Dan is SUPER blunt. But, I love that about him! He is so straight up about the christian life! And I appreciate that so much!

I sign up for classes tomorrow and I have started looking for a job! Pray that God will provide a job for me! That is really the only missing piece to the puzzle up here!

2009-07-29T21:38:00.004-04:00

A lot has happened since I last updated everything. I guess I figure most people who read this blog are involved in my life right now. So, they already know what is going on.

My life has been incredibly insane lately.

I can't help but wish I were in the Philippines again this summer. I have really missed the children and the country. I have missed everything about it. And I know it will always have a place in my heart.

Since I last wrote I have gotten engaged. Which is really insane. If you want to know the story just check it out on my facebook page. So now I am rushing to plan certain things for my wedding before I go off to seminary (8 hours away from my mom) for the semester. It's exciting!

Last week I got to go on vacation with my family. I always look forward to that time of the summer and I find it incredibly sad when it is over. I love the beach SO MUCH! We spent a lot of time on the beach and playing tennis. It was fun!

I leave for seminary on August 14. I have already spoken to the two girls I will live with and it seems like God has already been so gracious in blessing me with them! We seem like we have similar passions and interests. Also, they have everything we could possibly need (even a washer and dryer). Which is a big deal because I have practically nothing. It really seems like my entire life is changing right now. My life will never be the same again, really! It's an interesting transition for sure!

I will get more detailed on my life when I am away from everyone and people actually don't know what is going on in my life. haha.

Here are some pictures from the past couple weeks:

Scuba Diving....

2009-06-29T22:50:00.004-04:00

It's been over a year since I left for the Philippines, in fact, a year ago I was halfway through my time there!

I miss it a lot! Thinking back on all the things God taught me and all the cute kids doesn't help!

I so badly want to go back there and see those children again!

I had some of my most awkward moments of my life in the Philippines! HAHA! In fact, I had more awkward moments there than I ever have in my life! I would relive some of the hilarity but I am afraid everyone else wouldn't get why it was so funny! HAHA!

Anyways, Sarah Myers emailed me these scuba diving pictures from last summer. I forgot she had them. I thought they were funny. There is one picture that shows me holding some sea creature that looks like a spider and I was like,"I can't believe I did that!"

In the PHilippines Scuba diving costs about 20 bucks. You don't have to have a license or training or anything. We got a 10 minute speech on what to do and were set loose! HAHA! IT was a lot of fun!

So...here are some pictures!

A Wedding....

2009-06-15T23:37:00.005-04:00

This weekend was a good break from the everyday chores I have! I am enjoying relaxing at home but sometimes I get bored because practically everyday is the same for me. I guess that's really how life is though, right?

Summer has been good for me so far. I have enjoyed getting to actually read something of my choosing. I have enjoyed exercising whenever right after I wake up instead of in the middle of my day!

Friday I headed down to Winder, GA for my friend, Heather Price's wedding. She was my room mate this past semester is colllege while meredith was in Russia. I love her a lot! Friday was the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. She asked me to sing in the wedding so I went to all the festivities. It was only my second wedding to sing in. ANd to be honest, I don't feel like I have a good enough voice to sing on someone's wedding day. Heather asked me to sing "How Sweet It Is" by James Taylor. haha. It was a growing experience.

The rehearsal dinner was at her house. It was a lot of fun to see some friends from Toccoa and to hang out with them. I don't get to do that often and I really miss some of them! The bachelorette party was that night and we were really just out to embarass Heather. We made her dress in a really hideous outfit and do a bunch of crazy things for prizes. It was a cute idea and nothing about it was inappropriate or gross (no worries). It was really funny! Here is an example of something we did. We went to Mellow Mushroom for dessert that night. Our waiters name was Ross and so everytime he came to the table we made Heather yell out his name "Hey Ross" in a really excited voice. We basically just wanted to make her look like an idiot. haha. We also painted our toe nails and did girly things. ha!

The next morning was the wedding and it was at Staghorn Plantation in Nicholson, GA. It was SO BEAUTIFUL! The wedding was at 11 and I had to be there around 9:30 for a sound check. It was BURNING up outside. I definitely got sweaty. It was just too bad I couldn't wear my huge Willy Wonka sunglasses while I sang. The wedding was one of the most beautiful I have ever been to! Heather was gorgeous and the location was gorgeous. She actually rode up in a horse drawn carriage. IT was really neat!

The reception had dancing and stuff which reminded me of just how white I really am!

Afterwards mine and Jonathan's friends-Ben and Ashley came with us to play disc golf. I am horrible at it. But, it was fun to hang out together.

That night Me and Jonathan went on a double date with Sara and Andrew to the Gwinnett Braves. The seats were all sold out so we ended up sitting in the grass near the outfield. It was fun though! I was in the sun all day long so I was completely burnt when the day was over.

Sunday Jonathan took me to Stone Mountain and we watched the Laser Light show! IT was fun! I hadn't been in a long time! I really like watching it!

It was a really good weekend! Now I am back to cleaning. I am in desperate need of rest though! I am exhausted. And my allergies have been really bad lately. I have had a headache and itchy and watery eyes! My throat has been hurting for over a week! It hasn't been fun!

Here are some pictures from the weekend:

The Zoo

2009-06-03T17:59:00.003-04:00

I have gotten settled in at home now. My days are very different from when I was at school. I been busy working for my mom cleaning the house and doing laundry, dishes and things. It's nice to be able to be at home. Since it is my last summer at home I want to enjoy it.

It's been good being home. I have gotten to see some friends I hadn't seen in a while! That is always nice!

This past weekend I got to go visit Jonathan. It was fun! We went up to his grandparents house on Sunday and had a cookout with all of his relatives. I met all of his mom's side of the family. It was good to get to know some of the people he's related to! They have some of the cutest kids on that side of the family.

On Monday we went to Zoo Atlanta. I have never been! It was a lot of fun! They have some of the cutest animals there! I was sad that they didn't have more bears. I think those are my favorite. I really wanted to see a Polar Bear and Koala Bear but they didn't have them! They did have some pandas though! They were really cute! I enjoyed looking at all the cute little animals!

It was a good weekend with Jonathan. Now I am back home until my friend's wedding on June 13th. I am singing in it.

Here are some pictures from the weekend:

Stop Using People

2009-05-26T15:28:00.002-04:00

"As is often noted, (in our world today) there is a constant danger of loving things and using people, rather than loving people and using things. When that temptation is succumbed to, stable and faithful personal relationships become impossible. A person engulfed in self-will and self-fulfillment becomes less and less capable of loving because as his desire to possess grows, his desire to give withers. And when he forfeits selflessness for selfishness, he forfeits the source of true joy."

That is a quote from my devotion this morning. And, I have seen this come into play in my own life. How easy it really is to stop truly loving people but to just use them for whatever we can get out of them and then toss them to the side when we aren't getting it anymore. Our world has become a world of self-indulgence. And sadly enough, this is true even in so many Christian's lives. How easy it is for us Christians to rebel against God's way of doing things. But, I have found in my own life that when I truly live like His word says I am the happiest. God knows what He is doing when he commands certain things from us. His commands are not meant to be chains, but they are meant to bring freedom.

This is just the case when it comes to truly loving others. At the core of each of us is a sinful nature that just wants to get what we want all the time. So, in our relationships we fight and bicker and nag until we get everything we want out of the other person. And when our fighting or nagging doesn't lead us to what we want, we let the other person go. If we would just let all of that go. If we would stop being petty. If we would focus on loving other people the way they need to be loved I believe it would bring us so much more freedom in our relationships. Of course this is way harder than it sounds. Typing it is significantly easier than living it.

A perfect example of this is seen in the television show "Jon and Kate Plus 8". I was really disappointed as I watched the season premiere last night. I sat on the couch watching this precious family (who just last season had a vow renewal ceremony where they showed their kids they would always be together, regardless of what came along in life) talking about how they weren't sure if they were going to stay married or not. They claim to be Christians. In my mind this was different than the secular singer/performer who claims Christ but has nothing to do with Him in their lifestyle. These people wrote books, put out devotionals, claimed Christ on their show and I really did see Him in their lives in some ways. But here they are talking about getting a divorce. For Jon it's because he has come to resent having so many children and a wife that nags him all the time. For Kate it is because Jon has made poor decisions and has turned into a different person. But, you know what? I don't care what their reasons are, this shouldn't even be an option. They've both done some pretty horrible and selfish things to one another. WAKE UP!!!

And here is another classic scenario where Christ living inside someone means absolutely nothing over the major decisions or actions of their lives. I pray not to be like that! I pray that Christ living inside of me will transform all of who I am. Even if it means I have to stick something out that is hard. Even if it means I have to work through things when I would rather not do so. Because I really don't want to be another person claiming the name of Christ who can't even carry out loving other people regardless of what I get in return.

When Christ saved us He gave us victory: victory over sin, over death, over EVERYTHING. But so many times we choose to live like He didn't. We choose to act like we are enslaved to our own habits or desires. We choose to say no to things we should do simply because "we don't want to do it". This isn't how Christ wants us to live.

I wish Christians would really stop carrying out their relationships like the rest of the world. Myself included. Because, you know what? It's always hard to love someone when they are being completely unloving towards you. But, that is exactly what Christ would've done!

I want to show Christ as big as He really is! I want Him to have His way in me. I want my relationships to be a testimony to Christ in my life. I don't want them to be a testimony of how self absorbed I am.

Can't we finally stop loving things and using people so that we can truly start loving people and using things?

What on earth am I missing
What is it that I don’t see
Is their someone somewhere out there
Crying out

Am I truly not noticing
Or just refusing to believe
Do I choose to feed my faithless self
With doubt

All of heaven is falling all around me
And I am drowning in the mystery of Your love
All the universe can’t contain Your beauty
But You come alive in me
You come alive

I’m not flying on angel wings
I’m not swinging from no tree
I got love and hate and the will to change
And choose

I have a smile that You gave me
You have a love that I need
When I’m down, You know just how
To lift my mood

You bring me to life
Yeah it feels just like
I’ve been born again
For the first time, for the first time

Its summer time!

2009-05-18T23:09:00.006-04:00

So, summer is officially here. I have moved back home. All but one box is unpacked and put away. I am a college graduate. But, it doesn't feel like I am. I am not sure when it will finally hit me. Some people say it will hit when I don't go back to Toccoa in August. I am sure it will! Everything happened so fast I didn't even have time to process it or to cry. I also didn't get to say good bye to everyone!

The last week at Toccoa was really good. Meredith came back on Tuesday. Me, Heather, Danny, Jonathan and Meredith all had a movie night and watched Taken. It was a good night!

On Wednesday me and Jonathan went on our last college date. It was a very interesting experience to say the least. It was kind of cold that day. It only got to the upper 60s. I had been wanting to go to Sliding Rock in Tallulah Gorge for a while. Since we were graduating we decided to finally go out there. No one tells you though what all that involves. I figured it would be like all of our other hikes: fairly easy and short. I was wrong. We took a picnic and sat on a blanket overlooking the gorge while we ate. It was really pretty and fun. If you don't know anything about Tallulah Gorge here is a rundown: to get down into the gorge you have to climb down 600 stairs. It's a long way down and it is very exhausting if you aren't used to climbing that many stairs. We went inside the building because we had to get a permit pass to be able to go to sliding rock. Well, when we get to the desk the woman told us we couldn't go down into the gorge with flip flops on (Jonathan had worn flip flops). Unfortunately she didn't tell us this when we called the day before to found out what all we needed to do to be able to hike to Sliding Rock.

So, we are standing there and I was very upset. I didn't want to go all the way back to Toccoa to get Jonathan's shoes. WE had to be somewhere that night and it is a 20 minute drive there and then 20 minutes back to the Gorge. I also didn't want to drive back the next day. So, instead I remembered there was a thrift store right up the road, so me and Jonathan got back into the car and headed there. We found these nasty old shoes and socks and bought them for three bucks. It was so gross but it saved us a lot of time and even some money! When we went back to get the permit the ladies were laughing at us!

Finally we were able to hike down to Sliding Rock. However, after about 300 stairs my legs were telling me they didn't want to go any further. And they still had 300 more to go. We made it down to the bottom and then had to cross over the river hopping from one big rock to the next. IT was funny. At one point we had to toss our shoes, wade across and then take turns tossing the back pack to each other. No one told us how long and treacherous of a hike it was. I was praying almost the entire time that Jonathan wouldn't kill himself with his cheap shoes on! It was a good opportunity to practice working well together in tough situations. It turned out well. After hiking for about a mile and a half across tons of huge scary rocks (at one point we had to crawl) we made it to Sliding Rock. We also saw a snake on the way over too!

Sliding rock was interesting. It is a huge natural water slide. The water was probably about 50 degrees though since it was overcast outside. When we got in to slide down we didn't realize that there were TONS of leeches in the water. So, we slid down into the water. We both had a really hard time swimming against the current to get ourselves back up on the shore. When we got out of the water we realized we both had leeches all over our bodies. I never realized how painful those things were to have one you. Within about five seconds they start making you itch like crazy. It was horrible. Like I said before, we had to be at a cookout that night so we only got to slide down the rock three times. I have to say though, that was enough for me because each time I slid down I accumulated more leeches on my skin. It took us about twenty minutes to pick all of them off of ourselves.

So, after that fiasco we still had to turn back and hike the mile or so back to the bottom of the gorge, then we had to make it back up 600 stairs. Going up was even harder then going down!

It was exhausting. That night we had our last get together at our professors house where we watch LOST. He was so sweet. We had a cookout and they made us a graduation cake! It was a really good time! I am really going to miss going over to his house with my friends to watch the show.

Thursday was pretty busy as well. Amber, Sam and Meredith all came over to Wildwood and we had a spend the night party! It was fun! We watched a movie and talked a lot! It was so good to catch up with them! That is one of the hardest parts about graduating. I won't get to see them much anymore. Amber is moving to France and Sam is going to Barbados. Growing up is not fun in that way! YOu have to move away from everyone.

Friday they made us get up SUPER early to practice for graduation. I was a grouch. They were WAY too detailed. Practice lasted 2 hours. My room mate had her wedding shower that afternoon. It was fun. I also went to see the waterfall for the last time. SAD! I did some packing. That night we all played spoons together. I hadn't played that game in a while. We switched it up so that whoever dealt the cards could make up their own rules and put the spoons wherever they wanted to put them. We ended up having them outside in the bushes, taped to the ceiling, in the freezer, under couch cushions, etc...It definitely made the game more dangerous but it was fun!

Graduation day happened so fast it is kind of a blur. Graduation itself was long and boring. It seemed so unreal. My parents, siblings and grandparents and aunt came up! It was really good to see them. It was raining though so it was kind of a chaotic morning. We ate lunch at Isabelles on the gorge. It was really yummy! I spent the rest of the afternoon packing and cleaning the house. It was sad driving away from Toccoa knowing I wouldn't go back!

Now I am home and I still haven't been able to process the fact that college is over. There were so many people I didn't say good bye to! There are so many things I will miss. But, I am still glad I have accomplished college and gotten it out of the way! I am one step closer to the mission field. That also feels weird!

Here are some pictures from Sliding Rock and graduation! Enjoy!

The End of the Year

2009-05-12T11:59:00.002-04:00

It's the end of the school year and I can tell, like any other year of college I am more than ready for summer. I don't think it really hit yet that I am not coming back. I think I am just so ready to be done with all this work all the time that I can't even sit back and really let it settle in. My theory is it will hit when I move into seminary.

You know how you get to the end of something and everything you MEANT to do but haven't done yet comes to mind? There are so many things I meant to do while I was at Toccoa but never got around to doing. Everyday I have tried to do something I have never done no matter how small. On Sunday night I went to the Paul Anderson Park and I've always wanted to climb up there with Paul himself. But, I was too much a chicken. So, I just asked Jonathan to do it and watched while he did it. I don't think you are technically supposed to. It's not one of those things where there is a sign telling you not to. It's just one of those things you know wouldn't be a good idea if someone who cared drove by and saw it.

Last night Jonathan and I went and threw the baseball on the baseball field at the highschool. Jonathan somehow managed to throw the baseball at my foot going about 30 miles an hour. It hit my big toe. It hurt pretty bad! I honestly think though if I had kept up with softball I could be pretty good at this point in my life. I know my family is laughing at that considering how horrible I was when I played. But, really, I think if I played now I would be decent. It just may be my sport! Lol. I know it isn't bowling, golf or basketball!

Last night I also cooked my last meal for my house. It was our last dinner all together. It was kind of sad! We have had some good times around the dinner table.

Today Meredith is coming back so we are going to hang out. I only have one more final tomorrow. IT's my voice final so I just need to practice my music.

At some point I need to begin packing but I just don't want to yet!

Graduation is coming up fast and I can't believe it! It doesn't seem real to me.

The missions majors ever year walk across the stage barefoot. It is to represent the verse that says,"How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news". We want to show off our beautiful feet I guess. But, I have to say, I am really excited about this tradition because it means I can do one of my favorite things: go barefoot. Normally something like that would be seen as informal. But, not for missions majors. Thank goodness I can avoid worrying about tripping as I walk across the stage in high heels.

Hilton Head

2009-04-27T16:34:00.003-04:00

Life is always busy. I hear it doesn't get any better from here on out. I have three weeks till graduation. This is my last full week of classes. Such a weird feeling. Moving on has never been a strong thing for me.

This past weekend my friend Ashley Spaulding got married. It is such a strange thing when all your friends start getting married. I honestly don't feel old enough to get married or to have friends of mine getting married.

Her wedding was in Hilton Head. Since Hotels are so expensive and none of my friends were going up a night early, I just decided to make a day trip out of it. It takes five hours to get there. So we left at 7:00 on Saturday morning and got there around 12:00 PM. We ate at Chik-Fil-A and then we got to the church by 1:30 (thirty minutes before the wedding started).

The wedding was really beautiful. It was one of the sweetest weddings I have been to. I really enjoyed it. Ashley looked beautiful! The reception was at a plantation nearby. It was on the bay. The location was really pretty with tons of palm trees and spanish moss trees. It was 80 degrees that afternoon so it was burning up!

The reception was over around 6:00 and me and Jonathan headed over to Hilton Head for a walk on the beach. I couldn't go all that way and be so close to the beach without actually enjoying it! So, we took a walk on the beach and I got to take some picture for my photography class. We ate dinner at a pizza place downtown. It was really good.

The ride home was excruciating. I was exhausted. And about one hour into it I just wanted to be back SO BADLY I couldn't stand it. We got back at 2:00 AM. It was a good but exhausting trip! I love South Carolina beaches!

This week is pretty busy. It seems like every class is trying to wrap up assignments.

Here are some pictures from the weekend:

The Junior/Senior

2009-04-19T22:37:00.004-04:00

The future is beginning to overwhelm me lately. Do you ever suddenly look around and go,"Is this really my life?" This isn't necessarily in a good way, but it also isn't necessarily in a bad way. As the end of college is in sight my life is starting to feel kind of weird to me. It doesn't feel like my life anymore. Nothing feels normal. I am not going to pretend, I am starting to get a little freaked out about the future and all that will come with it.

No one tells you growing up is weird and hard. My room mate, house mate and I went to eat at the BBQ Shack in Toccoa on Friday evening. I don't even like BBQ. But, it is a Toccoa staple and I have never been there my entire four years. So, I decided to try it out with my two friends. We sat down at our table and our waitress walked over and said,"I assume you will be having sweet tea". Only in Toccoa do they just assume you will be drinking sweet tea. It was pretty good though! I enjoyed it. We had a good time. We talked a lot about the future and how weird it was that we are graduating. I started getting a little sentimental. You know, a lot of times I am fine with moving on in life until moving on is staring me in the face. It is when the next step is looking me in the face that I begin to hold on for dear life to the phase I am currently experiencing. I have found myself wanting to hold on for dear life to college. These past four years have definitely be full of good memories and hard times. In fact, these past four years have been the hardest of my life. But, they have also been good in a lot of ways!

Yesterday was my last formal of college. It went by so fast I don't even feel like it really happened. It was my first/last Junior/Senior banquet of college. It was in downtown Greenville. It was down by the river there in a really cool pavilion. It was beautiful! I rode down with Jonathan, Amber and Charles. We sat at a table with two other couples. The dinner was BBQ (my luck that I would have my least favorite thing two nights in a row). The food was wonderful though. They showed a senior dvd. Since the person who made it didn't know everyone on a close level, they simply took pictures off of everyone's facebook profile for the video. It just so happened that they took my profile picture. Which, at the time wasn't the most flattering picture. Had I known, I definitely would've put up a better picture of myself.

After dinner we went downtown to the Underground Coffee shop for dessert and then we headed to a jazz club to listen to a jazz band play. It was amazing! I had a lot of fun. Here are some pictures:

There is a lot to do before I graduate. I am ready for the TON of homework to be done!

A weekend at Southeastern!

2009-04-05T18:49:00.005-04:00

You know when you are trying to explain something to another person and all you get from them is a blank stare or a weird expression that states,"I don't get it". That's kind of how I feel it's been with me a lot when it comes to other people understanding my "heart" on things. Especially when it comes to missions. I have got lots of different responses when I tell people I want to be a missionary one day. One of the most common ones though, (even from fellow christian) is the same exact stare I was just talking about that says,"I don't get it". Once I even had a christian ask me this,"Why would you want to do that?" It's weird. I figured missions was something every christian understood pretty clearly.

I'm not one of those people who looks down on people who don't want to be a missionary. I am glad there are teachers, doctors, scientists, and even garbage men in this world! I am in no way better than they are. I don't get puzzled when someone chooses another career other than missions. I get puzzled when someone doesn't understand why I want to be missionary when they are a follower of Christ. I got this same blank expression from someone this weekend. It wasn't someone at the seminary, but it was a fellow Christian. I told them that I was coming to Southeastern to get a degree so I could be a missionary. They just gave me this weird expression and were confused as to why I would do such a thing.

My passion for things, and even my heart is often misunderstood by other people. Especially when it comes to missions. I figure it will always be that way with people who are passionate about something though. It doesn't matter what you are passionate about, if you show that passion to others at some point it will most likely puzzle them. Trying to make people understand why we are passionate is such a hard thing to do , isn't it? Trying to get another person to truly grasp our heart and our experiences is always a challenge. They will never see it fully from where we stand.

This weekend brought on these thoughts. THis weekend I went to Wake Forest, NC to tour Southeastern. It wasn't a formal tour since I went on the weekend (I couldn't find a time to go during the week). My friend from this summer, Cameron Liner, lives in Raleigh. She has a friend who goes to Southeastern, so he provided us with a tour. I personally though don't think I would've gotten a better tour guide. Brad is really funny and optimistic. And it was refreshing to be able to talk to someone like that about southeastern. Wake Forest is a small town that reminds me of Amory, MS (the town I grew up in). It has personality even though it is so small. IT is very quaint. We ate at a cute little sandwhich shop called "over the falls". The rest of the shops downtown are just as adorable. One of them is a ice cream/gellato shop that has horse saddles for seats. Everything has a creative name.

The campus is really pretty, though not as pretty as the Southwestern campus in Dallas. I got to see pretty much everything from the outside. The dorms were super depressing and weren't even as nice as the dorms we have at Toccoa. That was sad. But, Brad had a lot of good things to say about the school. ANd, I honestly trust his opinion. He went to christian highschool and christian college so he truly understood where I was coming from. He said he has learned a lot in about the Old Testament (which made me really excited because I felt like Toccoa was weak in that area). It was good to talk to him! He was helpful. I still have some questions but I have emailed the admissions counselor and will hopefully get those answered soon!

It took practically all day on Saturday to tour everything. The rest of the weekend I was hanging out with Cameron. She goes to NC State so she gave me a tour of their campus. She showed me downtown Raleigh. It seems the area has pretty much everything I could need! I really liked it. It's a neat city. And, the school seems really good. There were of course, some negatives. I think the positive outweighs the negative though.

Oh, and it took about 5 hours or so to get up there! I was very thankful for my GPS. IT was helpful this weekend. I had so many different places to go!

Here are some pictures from the weekend:

My Busy Life...

2009-04-02T22:28:00.002-04:00

This has been a pretty big week for me! I think the past two weeks have and will be the busiest weeks of the semester. I am very glad they are now behind me! It's about time! I have been too busy to even keep in mind what I needed to do next.I have had sticky notes all over my wall above my computer. Now I know how people feel when they write a to-do list and spend an entire day without even get one of the things fully accomplished! It's been exhausting. Too bad spring break isn't this week! That'd be nice! It is spring break for my room mate. So I will be all alone in our room next week, which isn't my favorite thing!

Graduation is in five weeks and I still won't let myself completely think about it. It's just too weird. I honestly can't believe I am done with college. I never thought I'd say this but I am honestly going to miss this place.

This past Monday I had my senior orals. That is pretty much where they ask you questions about all your classes at Toccoa. They also ask you about all the major doctrines. You have to give a statement about what you believe on each topic and then take them to multiple verses that back up each idea. I also had to give my testimony and my call to missions. It lasted three hours. I was SUPER nervous. But, overall it went well. I passed them. I got my letter in the mail today saying I had passed them.

My big senior project was due today! So, I have had a group meeting everyday this week for at least two hours each time. We presented it today. Now all we have to do is adjust the presentation based on the feedback we got and then present the final presentation. A lot of work has gone into this. I am looking forward to it being over!

I also finally got my acceptance to Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. That is pretty exciting too! I am going to look at the campus this weekend. My friend Cameron (from this summer in the Philippines) lives close to the campus so I am going to be able to see her. I am staying with her! I can't wait! It should be really fun! I am going to have to make a decision about all of this real soon!

In the next month before school ends I have a lot to do. My former house mate is getting married in Hilton Head. So, my house is traveling up there to see the wedding. I also have a slumber party with all of the girl Mission majors. There is also Junior/Senior.

I have really been missing the Philippines lately and part of me is disappointed I didn't decide to go back this upcoming summer! Its just so expensive. I can't ask the same people for money every summer, you know? I guess I will have to settle with keeping in contact with the people there the best I can!

I hope you are all doing well!

A Busy Week

2009-03-27T10:37:00.002-04:00

I have been REALLY busy this week. At some point I will give you a REAL update. However, it wont' be right now.

I never thought this week would be as crazy as it has been. I am really glad it's almost over!

Please pray for my Senior Orals on Monday. I am going to be spending all weekend preparing for them! I am really scared about having to take them. This is like an interview where they will ask me questions about what I have learned over the entire four years I have been here at TFC. They can ask me about any random topic from any class. Also they will ask me about main doctrinal issues and I will have to quote scripture for them or at least know which scripture to take them to in my Bible to read to them! It's a lot of information. Not to mention I have to memorize my doctrinal statement which is 20 pages long! So, anyways...please be praying for me. My week has been so busy and stressful I haven't gotten the chance to study so this will be what I am doing most of the weekend! I appreciate your prayers.

I don't know about you, but when I am stressed out or really busy I like to have something that makes me laugh. Unfortunately I always thought that people hurting themselves in a weird way was funny. Don't ask...But, my room mate showed me this video on youtube and I think it's hilarious! Maybe you'll disagree...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMS0O3kknvk

Have a great weekend!

Love is Different...

2009-03-24T08:12:00.001-04:00

Apparently you have to have my brain to understand the last post I wrote, sorry! Anyways...here is something maybe you can understand (lyrics to a song I didn't write):

Well, it looks like five thousand miles broke the camel's back
But it's not as though i had a plan to win you back
Because i don't know what i want
But at least i know that much
Now I'm afraid love came right up
And it slapped me in the face, but i did not know

'Cause love is different than you'd think
It's never in a song or on a TV screen
And love is harder than a word
Said at the right time and everything's alright
Love is different than you think

So I won't expect a postcard from Trafalgar Square
But I'd be lying if i said I didn't care
Because you can't just turn it off
And put a blindfold on your heart
But i'm off to a good start
A continent away, but i do not know

But maybe you're the dream i'm waking from
'Cause I see you everywhere I go
Darlin' you are such a mystery to me, you know

God isn't safe and you wouldn't want Him to be!

2009-03-22T00:11:00.003-04:00

Spring Break has been interesting for me. It's been a strange/hard/emotional week in a lot of ways. I was thankful to just be home. To be honest I didn't really care what I was doing as long as I was HOME. It has been good for me. I enjoyed WAY TOO MUCH the sleeping in till lunchtime, getting ready whenever I felt like it, and filling the day with whatever activities I wanted to do. So, I didn't study so much for my senior orals. But, I did get the study sheet ready. I will study hard next week. I have them on March 30th. Pray I do well!

I realize the days of doing what I did this spring break are rapidly coming to a close. I am growing up. Who knew (by the way) that growing up could be so difficult and painful sometimes? No one tells you how hard growing up can be! It's a good thing. But, it's not easy. I am glad to graduate in some ways. But, in others I am not. I guess I don't think I am fully ready for the REAL world. Not quite yet. But I have a feeling God doesn't agree with me! The future can be a terrifying thing at times. ANd, some might tell me that since I am in God's hands there is nothing to fear. But, I disagree. Yes, in God's hands things will work out for the best. There have been times I thought I knew what was best, then God said no. I look back now and I say,"Thank you Lord for not allowing me to have what I wanted".

In a different aspect though being in God's hands can be the scariest place. Because if you are doing it the right way, that means you aren't in control. And while that turns out to be a good thing, it also turns about to be a scary thing! I like to be in control. Life is more comfortable for me when I feel like I have some sort of control of how things are going. But I soon realize I don't at all. ANd living with Christ in the driver's seat is not exactly "safe" (in one definition of the word anyways). IF you are "safe" In your christian walk you probably aren't doing something right. When we are truly living for God it will scare you to death.

I remember this summer heading to the Philippines I felt SO out of control. I have never felt something quite like it. I got a rush of excitement at first but when it really hit me I was FREAKING out on the inside. Going to the Philippines was so far out of my comfort zone. It wasn't safe. It wasn't all warm and fuzzy and cozy. It hurt. It stretched. At times it completely made me wonder who I even was as a person.

As I look into my future that's what I see: pain. Because if I'm honest, if I truly do what God is calling me to do in my life I see a lot of times when I will be uncomfortable. I see myself being in pain over having to go so far away from my family. If God called us to do what was easy for us we would never grow. He doesn't. Sometimes he calls us to do the hardest thing. The last thing on our list. Living your life in total obedience and surrender to Christ is not safe. He will ask you to do the things you least expect and sometimes the things you least want to do. But, if you do them you will come alive. IF you do them you will understand why you are being called to do them! I truly believe that. Sometimes you may not understand until later but you will eventually get it!

I know the Philippines this summer was like that. Once I obeyed I felt truly alive.

Today I was listening to Steven Curtis Chapman. His songs for some reason get me really excited about living for Christ. I know it's cheesy, but it's true! Sometimes I need reminders throughout my day about why I should be excited about life. Sometimes I need reminders of who I am in Christ. Sometimes I get so used to living life from the day-to-day that I totally lose sight of what Christ has done for me! I am redeemed. I am a child of God. I have all the hope in the world regardless of what happens! That is something to get excited about! It's something I should get excited about WAY more often! Unfortunately living in America we are so busy we drown out the presence of God with everything imaginable. So it's nice to listen to music that will focus me on Christ as I go throughout my busy schedule. I just need some things in my life that will slow me down and remind me why I am living!

God is most glorified in us, when we are most satisfied in Him"

2009-03-10T18:15:00.003-04:00

This past weekend I got to go home for the first time all semester. I have been super busy so it's been hard to find free time. It was Molly's birthday on Thursday so we celebrated it with opening presents and eating cake. My mom made tons of yummy food (I miss her cooking). It was nice to see almost all of my family there at the same time!

Unfortunately I was getting sick. Today was the worst it's been yet. I am not sure what it is. I will just call it "death" because it feel HORRIBLE. It's also lasted WAY too long!

I couldn't even rest today because I had a speech to make (which is real good when you feel like I did). I also had to develop two rolls of film.

On the way back to school I got to asking myself many questions. The sky was really beautiful and as I looked up at the clouds for some reason the world just seemed HUGE. Sometimes I get so busy I forget to stop and just look around me. If I did that more often I think I would be amazed by God more often. The world is so big and spacious. When I look at the sky or mountains or the trees and really take the time to notice them, it somehow puts things into perspective for me. I am so small. I am such a tiny part of this earth that God made. ANd God put me here to bring Him glory.

I asked myself the question: Do I really bring God glory? I mean, when you really step back and realize that it's all about HIM and not about you it's pretty scary. Because how much do we do only for ourselves? When that isn't even the purpose of our lives. I examined myself on this. I can't say that I do a good job of pointing to Christ no matter what I'm doing. I want people to look at my life and then look straight to Him because of it. I want him to be worshipped and glorified because of the way I live my life. And, when you put everything back into perspective and realize your sole purpose is to please Him and bring Him fame throughout the earth you realize how big of a failure you are in what you came to do!

I just want my life to count for HIM, not just for myself.

Today has been BEAUTIFUL! I took the opportunity to lay in the hammock we put up in our yard. THe girls in my house also had a picnic together for dinner tonight. It was fun! I love this weather! I hope it doesn't turn cold again. That would make me sad. Especially since I took all of my winter clothes home!!!

The First Snow...

2009-03-03T17:32:00.003-05:00

So, I haven't updated too much over the past week and a half. I have had a lot going on. It seems no matter how many hours I am taking per semester my life is always crammed full of things. It makes it hard to really stay in contact with people like I should and like I want to!

A week ago me and Jonathan had a double date with my sister and AnDrew. It was fun. We went to Intermezzo near Perimeter mall. It was about a 30 minute drive from there house. But, it was really good! It's this cute little european style restaurant. It is made to look like a quaint courtyard cafe' in Europe. It is inside though. It was adorable. We just went for dessert because it's kind of expensive. Here are some pictures that show just how big a glass of hot chocolate was and how big a piece of cheesecake was:

Too bad they don't have one in Chattanooga. I think my parents would like their desserts! We also played guitar hero at their apartment. They just got the microphone so someone can sing along while two people play the guitars. It was really funny!

I have working really hard on my senior project lately. It is taking a lot of my time. My photography class is also taking a lot of my time. I think altogether I probably devote about 10 hours to those two things every five days. It is ridiculous.

This past weekend was frustrating. I was in Buford with Jonathan. The weather man kept saying it was going to snow. I was thinking,"NO WAY!" They had been predicting snow for the past five sundays. So, I figured I would believe it when I saw it! Sure enough, as we came out of church is began to snow really hard. It was BEAUTIFUL! Within an hour there was about half an inch on the ground. We decided we should probably leave so we could drive back to school in safe conditions. We figured we would just play/enjoy the snow once we got back to Toccoa. It was VERY snowy until we reached Gainesville and all the sudden the snow stopped. I was so grumpy the rest of the nighT! I wanted snow so bad. There was snow ALL around Toccoa within like a fifteen mile radius but sure enough it never quite made it to us! I was so sad! I wanted to play in the snow! I griped about how we should've never left Buford becuase it NEVER snows and I wouldn't see snow the rest of the winter. IT was my one chance! I was really upset that we could've just stayed there and enjoyed FIVE inches of snow (yeah, they got five inches). There was literally NO snow here. Just rain. haha. My room mate was sad too!

Because my room mate was sad about the snow her dad decided to drive an hour and give her snow. It was so cute. He filled the bed of his truck with snow and hauled it to Toccoa. He dumped it in our front yard and me and my room mate, Heather made a snowman out of it! haha. So, in our not-so-snowy front yard we now have a cute little snowman who we lovingly named Willow. Here are some pictures of our cute little snowman:

Of course it didn't QUITE make me feel better about us not getting any snow, but it came pretty close! It was fun! Everyone walking by looked at us really weird for having a random patch of snow in our yard. But, we had fun making it! There is also included up there a picture of the conditions as we were driving back to school. ha!

Abortion, Such an over talked about topic...yet here it is!

2009-02-25T19:30:00.010-05:00

I saw this video of a 12 year old speaking out on the issue of abortion. She sounds way older than 12. I was really impressed. She has a lot of good points/quotes.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOR1wUqvJS4

Contrast this with what Barak Obama says on the issue:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSsFzue-V-I&feature=related

Of course, to contrast Obama and a 12 year old seems upsurd.
The thing that scares me about Obama is that he can take something like abortion and make it sound like it is ok. The clip I put above is not an entire speech. IT is simply snippets of different speeches. But, he can give a good speech. And it definitely has the power to persuade. My room mate said that she heard a speech of his on abortion and it honestly made her reevaluate why it was wrong. If christians are even hearing him talk about such things and it's making them wonder why they ever thought it was wrong, there is something seriously scary. No worries, my room mate is still against abortion. But, she said his speech was THAT good.

I don't like that.

There Rather Than Here

2009-02-21T11:52:00.003-05:00

On a day like this what does one do with themselves? I love Saturdays. I woke up today and I could go back to sleep for however long I wanted. The annoyance comes in when I can't go back to sleep for some reason but I really want to! I have decided my body functions on 12 hours sleep the best. I decided it a long time ago but it keeps getting proven to be true!! I also decided it is best to go to bed at like 11 at night. Because then I will sleep in till 11 the next day. IF I go to bed around one or two in the morning, I end up waking up at eleven anyways and not going back to bed.

Today it is beautiful outside. But, it's too cold to enjoy it! what a horrible combination! lol. I am going to have dinner with my sister and Andrew tonight and then we are going out for dessert at some restaurant. I am excited. My room mate is gone this weekend so I really have nothing to do. Actually, I could be doing plenty of homework. I have to research more of the strategies used to evangelize the Ainu people of Japan. However, since the people are already marginalized into society I have no idea how to research this topic. There is no information out there on them. Anyone know of anything written on the Ainu? lol. I mean, I have called like 15 mission agencies, none of which can help me. Sad!

I really miss the Philippines today. I guess it didn't help that I bought Mary Jane the CUTEST pony tail holders, barrets, hair brush and tooth brushes yesterday!!! And, it definitely doesn't help with all those pictures of her right above my bed. Her cute little face is just staring down at me this morning. Man, I miss that girl! Too bad we can't just snap our fingers and be in another place! I would definitely choose the Philippines today if it were up to me.

This week has been rather exhausting. I have been really tired. I have also been sick all week. WHich hasn't been fun! There were countless hours of studying, only to make bad grades. That really frustrated me. I have come away with the fact that some professors will just always word their tests in the most confusing way possible. Jonathan tells me I should stop studying like I do and just learn how to take multiple choice tests. I guess that was never something I really did until I came to college. And, when I took them in highschool they were straight forward, not something to confuse the person taking them! I will always be annoyed when I know information inside and out and still fail to do well! I have had a lot of things to get done this week as well! I am doing my senior portraits next week. I also ordered my cap and gown. It's kind of weird that all of that is happening.

Anyways...I know I am just rambling. There really isn't much for me to say, I spend most of my time doing homework these days!

Valentine's Day

2009-02-16T14:01:00.005-05:00

This Valentine's Day was a really good one for me. I hope it was for everyone else as well. It was nice to finally have it on a weekend. That hasn't happened in a long time.

This past week on Wednesday Jonathan spelled out "I love you" on my lawn with bricks that were piled up by our house.

On Saturday he gave me three peach colored roses. They were really pretty. We went to a cute little park named Little Mulberry Park to open presents. I gave him a shirt and some shoes and candy. He made me turn around so I wasn't looking to give me my present. When I turned around to see what it was he had hung a heart-shaped pinata in a tree nearby. Luckily, he didn't blind fold me, he just let me wack at it with a hiking stick. Which was really dangerous for him, by the way, because it was like six feet long. He should've known better after hearing the story of me knocking out Ben's cheek growing up. lol. All of my presents were inside of the pinata. I got a poem, some candy, a little stuffed bear and heart, a pen, and some more random items (nothing breakable though).

After that he took me out to eat at Buckaboo Steakhouse. We went around 4:30 so we could beat the crowd. It was REALLY good! After that we went to see the Gladiators hockey game. Because of Valentine's day the ice was colored pink and they had hearts where the puck was supposed to be dropped. It was fun! I had a good time. We also tried to get desert ravioli at Macaroni Grill afterwards, but because of the salmanila scare they weren't selling it at the time. IT was disappointing but, oh well! It was a good day.

I also got some nice cards from my family and some beautiful roses from my daddy. IT was a really good valentine's day.

Here are some pictures from the day:

At this point in the semester, I am really missing Meredith. I have a wonderful room mate, and the fact that I miss meredith has nothing to do with her. I just do! I told Jonathan the other day that I need some girls in my life. He just doesn't cut it. I could coach him on how to be more like a girl. But, why would I want to do that? lol. ;) My room mate is not home during the day, the girls in my house are always gone and most of my close girlfriends have already graduated. But, I have been trying to do things with the girls that are still here that I know. Everyone is just really busy!

Doing my devotions last week, I read Psalm 63. I don't know if you have ever read something that was EXACTLY what you needed for that moment. But, this was for me. I can't really say it in words. But, I will just put it up here and maybe it will speak to you as well! I wish that I would earnestly seek God and that my soul would constantly yearn for Him!!!

1O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly;
My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You,
In a dry and weary land where there is no water.
2Thus I have seen You in the sanctuary,
To see Your power and Your glory.
3Because Your lovingkindness is better than life,
My lips will praise You.
4So I will bless You as long as I live;
I will lift up my hands in Your name.
5My soul is satisfied as with marrow and fatness,
And my mouth offers praises with joyful lips.
6When I remember You on my bed,
I meditate on You in the night watches,
7For You have been my help,
And in the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy.
8My soul clings to You;
Your right hand upholds me.
9But those who seek my life to destroy it,
Will go into the depths of the earth.
10They will be delivered over to the power of the sword;
They will be a prey for foxes.
11But the king will rejoice in God;
Everyone who swears by Him will glory,
For the mouths of those who speak lies will be stopped

It's a boy/girl thing!

2009-02-09T12:08:00.005-05:00

This weekend I took a road trip to Oxford, MS. It was weird to go to Mississippi without my family and without seeing my grandparents and cousins! I took this road trip so that I could see the two girls I worked with in the Philippines this summer: Cameron and Sarah.

Cameron is from Raleigh, North Carolina. She is the one that is 5 ft 2 inches tall (like me) with short brown hair. She is definitely one of those excited about life kind of people. I decided after this summer and weekend that I need to be around those kinds of people more! It is good for me! It helps me get more excited about life! Cameron arrived in Toccoa on Thursday night. Her coming here was definitely wonderful! I got more excited to see her and Sarah than I have been in a long time about anything!

We left at 10 the next morning and headed to Oxford. Thank goodness for my Garmin Nuvi that I got for my birthday. It definitely helped us get there! It was a funny trip down there. Cameron had never been to Alabama or Mississippi. In my mind, she might as well have been on her way back to the Philippines with as much excitement as this brought on. I didn't know Alabama could inspire such excitement. It was really entertaining. Mississippi of course, is warm to my heart but most people find it repulsive, not Cameron. She thought it was "so beautiful". ha.

We got to Sarah's house around 4:15 that evening. She lives in a little red house off of 334 in Oxford. That night she took us on a tour of the Ole Miss campus (it looked a little different to me than I had remmebered from growing up going to the football games there). We also got a tour of the square, which is apparently the big thing in Oxford. They modeled the town after Oxford, England and so they have red telephone booths and a double decker bus downtown. It was kind of neat. It is definitely a cute little town. Lizzy Gray (a girl I got to know this summer) was coming down to meet us. So, we ended up killing time by taking a bunch of pictures, eating a snack at a cute little coffee shop, and looking in the little shops on the square.

We got the recipe for chicken adobo (a very good Filipino dish) and decided we would make it together. Sarah has all these cute little aprons so we put them on and cooked our dinner together. It was a lot of fun. Lizzy finally got there around 8:45 and we ate dinner. It was very good! The rest of the night we watched a ridiculous movie we saw together in the PHilippines again and then went to bed.

On Saturday we got up early and went to eat breakfast at the Bottletree Bakery. Sarah said we couldn't come stay with her without eating there. They did have really good food and coffee. We enjoyed talking to each other and stuff. Lizzy's friend and boyfriend came up to help her look for an apartment, so after breakfast they left. We went to three different places looking for kites (it was a really windy day and we wanted to fly some). We finally found some at Wal-Mart. Cameron also found a bubble wand. haha. It looked like a lite sabre. I had never seen one of those things before. We took the kites over to Lake Patsy (which is more like a bigger pond than it is a lake). We took our blanket with us and put it on the ground in between these three hills. It was like 70 degrees so it wad definitely warm enough to be hanging out outside. We flew our kites for a while and ran up and down the hills with them. Later I saw two eight year old boys doing the exact same thing...ha. We also played around with the bubbles and took lots of pictures.

In my opinion, we could do absolutely nothing together and still have an amazing time. That's probably because we got to know each other in the Philippines where there is nothing to do! If you can have fun with someone when there is absolutely nothing to do, then you can have fun with them anywhere doing anything! That is the good thing about our friendship. we genuinely know each other. When we get together it feels like we never left and we can talk to one another about anything, not just the Philippines.

After the lake, we went over to William Faukner's house (Sarah said we had to do all the main things in Oxford while we were there). It was really pretty. We ended up taking even more pictures, which was fun.

We ate lunch at 3:30 at this place called Catfish One. It is a little shack on the side of the road, the typical Mississippi place to eat. There wasn't an inside, just outside picnic benches. They had stuffed crab, catfish, fried pickles, chicken strips, etc.. I was really excited about the fried pickles! The catfish was really good too!I was a little bit surprised!

AFter that we headed back to Sarah's house to hang out. Apparently there is a room in the attic with a window to the roof. So, we went out on the roof and looked out over the land near her house. We also had our own little dance party up there. It was kind of fun.

That night we watched a movie and then Sarah invited a bunch of people from Nehemiah teams this summer to come hang out. most of them live around Oxford. So, we played some Play Station 2 and caught up on their lives. It was fun! I was exhausted though by the time we went to bed because I am still sick with whatever is going around. "The killer cold" lasts like ten days or longer! It's ridiculous!

It was sad to say goodbye yesterday morning. Me and Cameron left around 8:00 so that She could get back at a reasonable hour. We ate breakfast in Tupelo at the world's slowest McDonalds, so it took us a little bit longer to get back than we had imagined.

I had a lot of fun hanging out with them though! WE always have a lot of fun together. I wish we didn't live so far apart. But, we are planning our next outing for this summer! Sarah is trying to talk me into going to seminary in New Orleans so I can live with her and Cameron is trying to talk me into going to Southeastern so I will be near her! Lol. It'd be fun if we could all live in the same place!

Here are some pictures from our roadtrip:

2009-02-01T14:19:00.002-05:00

This last week passed by pretty fast. I was glad. I am definitely ready to graduate! This next week I am hoping will go by fast. Although, I have kind of a short week. Tuesday there are no classes. They called them off for a day of prayer. Thursday Cameron is coming to spend the night and Friday morning we are getting up and leaving. We are going on a road trip to Oxford, MS to see Sarah and Lizzy! I haven't seen the girls I worked with in the Philippines since I got back. It's been six months and I miss them a LOT! I can't even describe the excitement I have to get to spend some time with them!!! It should be fun!

This past Thursday me and Jonathan went on a date to Franklin, NC. It sounds like a long way away, but it's only 50 miles from us. We went to the Fun Factory. The Fun Factory is a place with Go-Carts, bowling, laser tag, putt-putt and tons of arcade games. All of it, except the go-carts are inside, so you don't have to worry about being cold. For $20.00 we got to play arcade games for an hour and a half and we got to play a game of bowling, laser tag and putt putt. I thought that was really good for having paid only $20. It was nice. The workers kept giving us things for free though (I am still not sure why). I beat Jonathan in Laser Tag, basketball, and skee ball. I don't think he liked that very much! Lol. He did beat me in golf and bowling though. They had this massive cow that you could pay to milk. I was SO EXCITED when I saw it! I have always wanted to milk a cow! I definitely took my turn at it! It was fun! We had a good time.

Friday night was the concert. It went really well. I enjoyed listening to jonathan's band but got a little bored listening to everyone else. We ended up leaving early. Yesterday I hung out with my sister. We went to the gym to work out and then went to eat lunch together. I also got to spend time at their church watching Andrew coach the Upward's basketball team. It was hilarious. All the little kids do crazy things while they are playing. I was laughing a lot!

Today I woke up feeling sick. There is some type of sore throat and runny nose thing going around. I don't have the runny nose yet, but I do have an incredible sore throat! Everytime I swallow it KILLS me! I hate that feeling! It isn't fun. I hoping it will go away quickly!

Well, I have a lot of homework to get done...

Bowling Is a Serious Sport, they didn't call me Gutter Girl for nothing!

2009-01-29T11:14:00.002-05:00

This week has gone by fairly quickly! I am thankful for that! I am ready for the weekend to be here! I am still trying to get settled into my classes and figure out when I will do all of my assignments. There is, of course, a CRAZY amount of reading. If there wasn't, I wouldn't feel like I was going to Toccoa Falls College anymore. Even with 12 hours I have TONS and TONS to read. It's really kind of ridiculous. I think he professor get a little confused sometimes and assume you don't want to have time to do devotions, sleep, exercise, eat, etc...I always have to get settled and find ways to balance it all. I look back at when my schedule was filled with more and wonder how I even got it all done? Who knows...maybe I didn't have as much reading once upon a time.

This week has been good in a lot of ways. Tuesday night the girls in my house were all sitting around the table eating dinner. We were discussing things we had never done in Toccoa that MUST be done before we graduate and Hannah told us she had never been to Rose Lanes, Toccoa's bowling alley. Now, you have to understand something about this place. It is in an old building in the middle of nowhere on a back road in Toccoa. When you go into the place it is super small. There are usually older folks in there. And, they are TOCCOA old folks. Not to be harsh, but they are all the normal redneck stereotype. If you choose to get bumpers at Rose Lanes they consist of black plastic pvc pipe/gutter type objects that they simply roll into thte gutter. It's a little ridiculous.

According to Heather Price (my new room mate), Tuesdays just-so-happened to be $1.00 night! So, we decided to take a spur of the moment trip over to the bowling alley (even though I really should've been doing homework, I forfeited it for the time-being). When we got there we decided to put our names into the computer as different vegetables. I happened to be Squash, if you were wondering. The lady at the front desk told us it was "league night". We had no idea this would end up getting us in trouble. We started bowling normal but got a little bored. So, we decided to see how many different ways you could bowl. Heather Price says she has made it to about 30 different ways. lol. ANYWAYS...Heather is the first one up. She all of the sudden got down on the ground and angled herself with the ball and proceeds to HEAD BUTT the thing down the lane. It was rolling slower than I've ever seen a ball roll. We were all laughing. She was laughing so hard she was on the floor. The next thing we knew the lady came over and was glaring down at Heather telling her it was "League night and she couldn't have people laying on the floor. We needed to take bowling 'seriously'". haha. I have to say, this probably seemed really immature to everyone else there. But, sometimes it is fun to be stupid (as long as no one is getting hurt or you aren't doing something illegal or unbibilical...thought I would clarify).

Anyways, the rest of our time there we had to be "serious" about our bowling. It kind of ruined our fun! Lol. I guess the leaugers don't like people messing around.

Last night we went to see LOST. One of the professors here at school allows students to come watch the show on his big screen TV. It's nice. And, he is the Philosophy professor, so during commercials he pauses it and we discuss our "theories" on what is going to happen next and what everything means. haha. It's kind of nerdy. But, I do like the show. It's fun to get off campus for a little bit.

I have been doing homework in between all of this. No worries. lol.

I got accepted to Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Fort Worth, TX. I spoke with Southeastern. THe person on the phone had ZERO personality and I was thinking to myself, "I hope they aren't all this dead over there". It makes me laugh that they put someone like that in the ADMISSIONS office. COME ON, PEOPLE! Lol. Anyways, they said they are still putting all the files together and they will have to let me know when they get the files put together what their decision is. Then, I have to make a decision about where to go. Decisions don't come easy to me...so that should be fun!

Tomorrow night Jonathan's band is having a concert at a church in Lawerenceville. It is apparently with a couple different bands and it is called "Battle of the Bands". So, it is a competition apparently to see which band is the best. I talked my room mate into going with me.

God has been teaching me a lot lately. Especially today. And, I am overwhelmed and thankful today that HE has been on Earth as a human. I don't think I really think about that much. But, I am so grateful he understands what I go through in a real way. It's easy not to think about Jesus in the human sense. But, if he were never human, I guess I wouldn't feel like He could relate to me as much! I am really bad at getting out my thoughts on this for some reason. Maybe if I COULD share more details it'd make more sense!

Thus Far...

2009-01-26T19:26:00.002-05:00

So, it's been a week since I moved into school and things are falling into place quite nicely! I have gotten settled in and pretty used to things.

The first week was kind of sad. Everyone in my house is busy, busy , busy this semester. Jonathan has three jobs. I hang out a lot by myself in the house. But, I have been doing my homework without any distractions. That has been about the only plus side. Our house constantly stays at about 62 degrees inside because they won't let us adjust our own heat. I have been walking around freezing to death.

My new room mate is amazing. I really couldn't have asked for a better one. I figured it would be really hard to have someone adjust to me for only one semester. I knew she was sad about her room mate leaving. I was sad about Meredith leaving. I mean, after getting used to the same person for so long it is really weird to be without them. But, Heather is really easy going. She doesn't even mind my noise maker. Which is nice. We have already gotten to talk to each other about all sorts of things. She is pretty open and I am too if you are that way towards me first. So, we have had some pretty good discussions.

We are still on the system where everyone cooks for each other. We had a new girl move in, so she decided to get on board. Since there are only five of us we only get to rotate for a week off every five weeks. But, it is nice to still have that going!

I have begun working out again at the YMCA and I even started using my Bender Ball! It is a hard workout too! MAN! But, hopefully with all of that combined I will lose my desired weight!

This past weekend I went to Buford and hung out with Sara. We went to the spa and got our massages. It was really nice! I definitely enjoyed it and wished it would never end! lol. It was a really good present!!! Afterwards Jonathan came over and we all played Guitar Hero. It was pretty fun! I enjoyed seeing them!

Our senior project has been decided and it looks like I will be researching and doing my presentation on Japan. It will be exciting to learn about a new place!

There isn't too much more to share really! I am still waiting on word from LTCF to say they got MJ's Christmas present! I hope it gets there soon!!!

Oh, I went to Wal-Mart last night and decided to look at the fish. They have the CUTEST looking goldfish I have ever seen. I honestly wanted to get one and put him in the tank with Bartleby. I was a little nervous though that he wouldn't like the new fish and kill it though. I am seriously contemplating buying him next week though when I go back. He was ADORABLE!!! What do you think? lol

The Beginning of the End.

2009-01-20T19:13:00.004-05:00

Today was my first day of the semester. Since Meredith is gone to Russia this semester, me and Heather Price moved in to the big room. I definitely miss Meredith and Ashley around our house, but I don't miss our little cramped room that I just moved out of. I will have to take pictures and put them on here sometime. My new room is really big and I don't feel claustrophobic. I said "Goodbye" to bunk beds FOREVER!!! We also have a walk-in closet and our very own bathroom! It's so nice. Hannah took the liberty of decorating our house while we were gone with tons of posters and stuff. She has collected interesting posters from the past couple of years! That are really funny!

It took me all day yesterday to transfer my stuff from one room to another. But I am finally all cozy!Jonathan also built us this shelf and put it up for us to decorate. It's pretty cute!!

This is my schedule for the next semester:

Monday, Wednesday and Friday: Acts at 11:00 AM
Tuesday and Thursday: Film and Digital Photography at 8:30 AM, Cross-Cultural Story Telling at 12:30 PM, Senior Project at 2:00

I quickly reminded myself today of why I hate Tuesday/Thursday classes so much!!! They are too long for my attention span, and unfortunately I have three of them! I thought class would never end. It was horrible.

I don't think any of my classes will be boring this semester though (except for maybe Acts). I am excited about learning how to take better pictures. I have always enjoyed photography. The only sad part is that I have to wake up so early for an elective.

Cross-Cultural Story-telling does sound lame, doesn't it? However, it is not! I am super excited. It is basically a class all on how to share your faith stories and stories from the Bible to oral cultures and be interesting in doing it. I am going to love it! There are so many cultures that are oral. And, they take great pride in telling stories to one another. It would be a great thing to learn how to do! I know the IMB is really big on that!!!

Senior Project will be fun but also annoying. It is the second part to my senior paper. Bascially, we are split up into groups of four people each and we take an elected senior paper. We read up on the particular people group and then develop a strategy for reaching them for Christ and planting growing churches among them. Then we present it at the end of the semester to the Missions Department at our school. I just hate group projects. And, this is a never-ending group project! I just hope I get a good group!

It is looking like it will be a semester of some good classes! Our house feels a little empty without Ashley and MEredith though!

We are still all taking a night a week to cook for one another. I made corn bread for the first time tonight and was excited that it turned out well!

I was hoping for snow this morning but there was not any on the ground! I guess you don't get much when you live in Georgia, huh?

Oh...and on a different note I did have my birthday and I got a lot of good things! My parents were so generous and gave me a Garmin Nuvi GPS system. Something I am really excited about. IT's cute, red, and matches my car perfectly. I am horrible with directions so I am glad I have something to get me around. My sister got me a trip to the spa!!! It was so nice. She shouldn't have spent that money! But, I am looking forward to a day of hanging out and getting a massage! Jonathan wrote me a song, made me a book of our first correspondences when we met (they are HILARIOUS!) and took me out to eat and to a movie!

I didn't deserve any of it! I loved it all!!!

Here is a pictures of the day:

I went ahead and took some pictures of my room, they aren't too impressive. I figure a room is a room. You would just have to see where I have lived for the past three years to know how awesome it really is! Perhaps taking this photography class will teach me how to capture the "true essence" of the room or take pictures that show the "maximum beauty" of it! Lol. We'll see!

HERE I GO, NOTHING CAN STOP ME NOW!

2009-01-15T23:18:00.003-05:00

I remember back to when I was graduating highschool. My entire senior year didn't feel any different. Sure, I got an hour for lunch where I could go off campus and enjoy McAllisters, or just hang out at Kevin's house. But, the reality that middle school/high school was about to truly be a thing of the past didn't really hit me until that night after graduation. It hit a little closer to home when I went off to college and actually moved into my dorm.

I remember being so scared when I first got to college. I really hated it at TFC for about the first two years. HA! I am not a big fan of EVERYTHING being new at once. The only time I have even remotely handled that well was this summer in the Philippines. And, even then, I had my fair share of ups and downs at first.

I am about to have my last first day of college EVER! It's a weird thought. I simply have one semester left. One measley semester that will be filled with classes like "photography" and "Cross-Cultural Story-telling". I only have four classes. TWo of them I didn't even have to have in order to graduate, but I had to take at least 12 hours to remain on-campus. To think, I could've only had 6 hours...but then, what would I have done with myself all semester?

This Christmas break has been needed in so many ways! I still don't feel caught up on sleep though. And, I am not going to lie: the last thing I want to do is go back to college. Don't get me wrong, I have amazing girls that I share a house with, and I am not sure what I would do with myself if I stayed home. There comes a point in all of my breaks where I start feeling like a complete bum and that I needed to do something more productive with my time!

I have finished most everything on my to-do list for Christmas break. I have applied to seminary, read four books (just for fun), hung out with friends, and even applied with the IMB for a consultant.

I feel like everything I have been working towards is becoming more real. When I walked down the aisle at church at the age of 15 and surrendered to full time ministry, I felt a little more concrete in what I was giving my life to. When I graduate highschool and moved to college and began my Cross-Cultural degree I began to feel even more like things were really coming together. However, when I stepped off of the plane in the Philippines this summer I really felt like,"THIS IS IT! This is my future. And I am not backing down". With college graduation just around the corner and my seminary applications in, I really feel like I'm growing up. God's calling on my life is ever-so-near in being fulfilled.

Yesterday I filled out a form online to get my own personal IMB consultant. This is someone who walks you through the process of becoming an IMB missionary. One might ask themselves, "Why do you have to have a consultant for such a thing?" In fact, four years ago I might have asked myself the same question! However, with missions in my nearer than distant future, I have come to realize being a career missionary with the IMB is nothing short of a mountain to climb! There are hoops you have to jump through, forms to fill out, years of preparation needed, etc... Don't get me wrong, because in my mind it is all completely worth it. But part of me stands at the top of one mountain wishing I could now begin what I am ever-so-eager to jump into!

With consultants and seminary coming into my life my future seems more real to me! I am seriously working my way to being a missionary. With this comes extreme excitement and a little hesitation. I know what I am called to do, and I won't back down. But naturally there is fear as I look over the steps ahead of me!

So, here I go...into my future. Things seem more real these days. I feel a little more grown up. With age comes reality, and sometimes it hits harder than you would like it to!